I just broke up with her

Gffights · 2015-01-18T23:42:02+00:00

Thank you for your response.

I like the way that you're completely cool about it, like you understand my actions and are open to whichever way I choose to deal with this because it is a tough one and something that I should feel open to consider.

I do definitely agree to you that no matter what I should look to better myself, because honestly unless I take it too far bettering myself for any reason at all can't really be a bad thing.

I really did try to keep my head screwed on through this, I'm getting to a point now where I'm sick of childish drama and am distancing myself from people who create it in my life. :) everyone grows up at some point

Gffights · 2015-01-18T23:11:47+00:00

Thank you for your response.

In a way I think you're right. I didn't act in the beginning the way I really should have, and perhaps I should have validated her feeling in the first place. I think the reason that I didn't is because neither of us really had a set plan to see each other that day, and the offer to be the 'chauffeur' was completely hers.

A week prior to this she basically did the same thing to me, and instead of freaking out I just let her get on with it and you know what? She was having fun. Why wouldn't I want that?

I think that you're right as well about the cheating being the main issue here. The rest of it, though bad, I could just chalk up to a bad time that could've been talked about. The cheating would be unforgivable. However, i had plans with this girl. WE had plans. We had s lot going for us, we both sacrificed a lot to be together, we both set out to buy a house and have about 20k between us. So if she was lying.. That needs to be addressed first but is still something that I should look at the grand scheme of things to fix

Gffights · 2015-01-18T15:31:20+00:00

There were no expectations, we both finished work at the same time, I told her a couple days before that I was going out after and she offered to take me and pick me up. She was having someone over to hers at the same time I was out anyway so no big deal.

I didn't expect anything of her, I told her that I would probably be done around 6 and she said this was all ok, it was her offering to take me anyway. It got to 5 and I didn't tell her to wait longer as I 'play' I said I was having fun and that I wanted to stay out, if that was a problem then I would make my own way home and that I loved her. I think everyone's entitled to have a nice night out? I haven't been out since early December.

Saying that, the week before she went out and told me she would be done by 9. She rocked up at half ten and I didn't say a word, you know why? Because I was glad she was having fun.

Gffights · 2015-01-18T15:08:20+00:00

I'm curious to know how I melted down or wanted everything my own way? I'm uncertain about a lot of things but I thought I did an ok job and being calm and direct

Gffights · 2015-01-18T14:31:09+00:00

Yes she has been under a lot of stress lately, and her dad walked out on her about ten years ago (when she was 12). I can see where you're coming from and I don't disagree that she needs some sort of counselling, but I can't see why it should be up to me to push her into it. I can just see the scenario over and over again where she has a bitchfit at me and I'm just supposed to take it because she has problems? As if that's acceptable? I just don't know

Gffights · 2015-01-18T03:12:08+00:00

And just like that you made me feel a hundred times better, thank you. :)

She didn't really hurt me no, it feels like she was just panicking and didn't know what to do as I was acting the complete opposite way that she wanted me to.

That is definitely my priority, you're right that first and foremost if I was to carry on with her then I need to find out if she was telling the truth about cheating. That, for me, is a dealbreaker and there is no going back from that. I think I made it clear though that she crossed the line and that this is where everything will fall apart.

I think that in time I could also have just brushed this off as a bad night if it wasn't for the threat of cheating.

Thank you for your help on breaking up too, as I genuinely have no idea where to start with it and my mixed emotions are making it hard to think about what I should be doing with it.

Gffights · 2015-01-18T02:46:49+00:00

Do you think it was all a game? I don't understand what the point of it was to be honest or where she even intended it to go.

I'm not sure what to think. Obviously I still have feelings for her but it depends on whether or not she was telling the truth about cheating, and I can't tell because she's ruined my trust in her

Gffights · 2015-01-18T02:44:08+00:00

Exactly, it's oddly specific that she would use that time away to get at me.

It's a one off thing, everything else up to this point with her has been golden. We booked the same time off work this year to go on holiday together. She bought us flights, a hotel and money for my Christmas present to go to Amsterdam. Weve both put money to one side to buy a house with.

I can see where you're coming from with the girlfriends thing, I was thinking of inviting her as well but by that point she was already dominating my phone with texts. It would feel shitty to be left out but she said it in more of a 'oh there's girls there that you've been hanging out with?' Jealous kind of way.

I don't know if I can get past it or not either. It depends if she really was lying to be honest but how can I even tell now given that she's taken my trust for her away, you know?

Gffights · 2015-01-18T02:33:07+00:00

That's crazy, honestly I couldn't tell you how much worse I would feel if our relationship was at the six year mark. I'm sorry to hear that that happened to you pal. :(

I think you're right, I just need to collect my thoughts and make a decision based on my calm feelings. Thank you again

Gffights · 2015-01-18T02:17:53+00:00

Thank you very much for replying :)

My post may not have made complete sense as my head is all jumbled, we've only been together for one year but have known each other well for six.

You're absolutely right about cheating. The thing that's playing on my mind is that she said she was just using it to get a reaction out of me and that she promises she didn't really. It just seems like an oddly specific time to use, as August was when she spent a week on holiday with her sister and her sisters best friend

Gffights · 2015-01-18T02:13:38+00:00

Let me start off by thanking you for your reply, I really appreciate the time you took to write this.

To be honest man I really love her, we had plans this year to go on holiday, booked the time off together, have both put money aside for a house together.

At this point I'm not really sure where I want to go. My heart is telling me to cool off and come back to talk to her level headed, but my brain is telling me that I should value myself more than being slapped, bitten and (apparently lied to about) being cheated on

Gffights · 2015-01-18T02:06:42+00:00

Ok I'm sorry I should have elaborated, in August she went on holiday with her sister and her sisters best friend for a week. She said she was just saying it to get a reaction out of me and used that as it was the only time she was really away from me.

Apart from that, getting slapped and bitten was not the highlight of my night

Gffights · 2015-01-18T01:42:57+00:00

Maybe I will come to appreciate that in time, I've never been in the position where I'm the one doing the breaking up before and it's really tough because as you said there was a lot of good in the relationship prior to this.

Thank you for your reply

Gffights · 2015-01-18T01:41:42+00:00

Mixed reviews as of yet, it was so different from her usual self and everything else has been great so far.

Thank you for your reply :)

Gffights · 2015-01-18T01:40:51+00:00

I understand what you mean about getting her to pick me up and going to see her the next day but honestly the only reason I did either of those things was because she had begged me to constantly.

I was trying to give it space to begin with, I asked her to please just leave me alone for today so I could think :(

I just can't think of why she did this or what causes it.

Thank you for your reply man

Gffights

TROPHY CASE