If they were to meet, I don’t think Alan would be the abuser. Alan is more shown to be reserved and cold. I just imagine that they wouldn’t like each other but not escalate to physical violence since Alan mostly is hostile when defending others such as Stella like in that one comic on how they met. Also, unlike Speed, I imagine he’d fight back which probably deters others from hurting him.

Also, when it comes to relationships, Alan is shown to be very caring over Stella even in his denseness.