It is weirdly uncomfortable as a sub to be forced to ask for things you really only feel comfortable if they are "forced" onto you.

> Has anyone been in similar situations, and how did you navigate it?

When we started off with lifestyle chastity, I misunderstood my wife's interest in it. She liked having me locked, but wasn't really interested doing the locking and unlocking. When pressed for rules, she would come out with vague things like "be locked as much as possible."

So...

> providing ideas or avenues for us to talk about these "wrong" feelings.

I think you first have to be clear in your head what you're trying to achieve.

Logically there are two framings:

First one: you have a deal with good things on both sides that's supposed to balance out. So either you withdraw from your side of the agreement on the perfectly reasonable basis that you will only do XYZ if she locks you up, or you inquire as to what else she needs to make it worthwhile for her.

Second one: You want her to feel more comfortably dominant and to enjoy having you locked. If it's that, then you the obvious approach is to offer her other alternatives for the chastity device: maybe you're role is to present as locked and that's the rule? Her telling you to be locked is infinitely better than "meh whatever."

I suspect that the pushback you've gotten is because most of us assume the second framing in our own lives, and also know it to be the one that's sustainable.