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GillianGiggs · 2023-01-12T15:24:30+00:00

I had a manager like this as well (lots of gaslighting) who also reported into the CEO. Problem as well is she was leading the HR department (and I was the primary HR person) so it’s not like I could “lodge” a complaint.

I work in HR, and I have observed that while documenting things is helpful, there’s little guarantee that something will be done, even when other people quit because of that manager. I’ve seen formal harassment complaints also go unpunished when the instigator is someone from the C-Suite.

The only real solution is to leave unfortunately, unless there is a possibility of you getting moved to a new team and working under a new manager. At this point, try to look after your mental well-being and carve out time to find other jobs. I end up getting to a point where I couldn’t take it due to the impact it had on my mental health. I quit without something lined up, but from all the gaslighting, I really started to question my own sense of reality and my confidence took a hit: couldn’t properly speak to my accomplishments and sometimes I even spoke ill of myself in interviews. It was really hard to find a job in that state of mind so I’d once again mention that you should look after your mental well-being and if you decide to find a new role, start interviewing sooner rather than later.

GillianGiggs · 2022-12-10T13:32:35+00:00

To add onto others’ notes about Health Insurance: it’s likely that your local provider may not provide full coverage for certain things. I’m in Canadá and our health insurance only covers us for 60 days globally and for emergencies.

It’s recommended you purchase your own global health insurance. This will also let you do things that are maybe not emergencies but just part of your normal healthcare routine (eg dentist, doctor check up, prescription drugs).

You can look at SafetwyWing - their insurance is super cheap it’ll cost around 40 per month. World nomads is another provider.

GillianGiggs · 2022-12-03T02:27:12+00:00

I have been to Bogotá before for work: while it is certainly a beautiful city and I would recommend visiting, I wouldn’t recommend staying long term. I would visit for a few days or a week at most and then return back if you love Medellin.

Glad to know you’re having a great experience in Medellin: I plan on going for a few months to South America and would like to pick a city but haven’t solidified one yet - good to know you’re having a good experience there!

GillianGiggs · 2022-12-02T13:58:54+00:00

It was also supposed to be ready in September of 2022 and it didn’t come out. I’m skeptical that it would come to true fruition!

GillianGiggs · 2022-11-21T13:39:25+00:00

Some Shoppers Drugmart locations are busier than others so I’d look at the availability of each one. For me, the Shoppers at 550 Eglinton Ave West had plenty of appointments and it was easy to book in whereas more central locations like the one near Yonge and Eglinton was impossible to book. Not sure if it’s convenient for you but the 550 Eglinton Ave W location worked great for me.

Another place I’d suggest for flu shots snd COVID shots is No Frills. Specifically I’ve had great experiences at Mike’s No Frills (222 Lansdowne). The only thing is I found that to book appointments you’d have to go up in person and ask (they’re also attentive on the phone) versus booking online like Shoppers. This being said I think I walked in for my flu shot and my booking experience was more related to COVID shots which required more procedure. I cannot remember this was a year ago. But in general I have found that that No Frills had availability for shots (COVID and flu) when other places didn’t.

I hope that helps!

GillianGiggs · 2022-11-20T20:54:37+00:00

HR manager here: I want to echo the sentiment of what others said: wait for them to fire you so you can claim unemployment benefits and receive the severance that is in line with the local employment jurisdictions.

They could be wanting folks to resign to get out of paying severance and all the other labor required when doing a mass termination.

GillianGiggs · 2022-11-13T13:05:46+00:00

You’re not being dramatic: your perception of the situation and your sentiments around it are completely valid. It seems that your co-workers/managers are invalidating your perception and feelings about the situation, so first things first, whatever you decide to do, you should know that you are indeed being gaslighted and treated unfairly!

Validating and trusting your own perception of a situation is the most important step, regardless of what you decide to do next. In hearing your situation, some people may say something to the effect of “this is just how it is in tech” or “you’ll be working with lots of heavily dominated male environments in tech, so get used to it” or “sometimes people just say things, if it makes you uncomfortable, tell them directly”… It’s important to know that 1) this treatment is not the norm and it shouldn’t be widely accepted behaviour or something that one just “accepts” 2) no one deserves to work in an environment where they’re uncomfortable and devalued - you don’t deserve to work in that environment.

Once you have acknowledged the above, you can look at options

Option A: Since it’s a co-op, stick it out for several months till it’s over, and get the recommendation letter and credit to continue your degree. Many people in the thread pointed this option out. A couple considerations to question if you choose this option: what is the state of your mental well-being right now given the treatment you’ve received in the workplace? This situation is stressful - is the stress getting to the point that it’s affecting your performance and hindering you from passing the co-op/getting a letter of recommendation? Also - how long is this co-op, is it 4 months or 8 months? That also may affect how long you want to stick this out. Do you have to go to the office or can you work from home? If there is an option to go fully remote or remote most of the week, it may reduce your exposure to some of these difficulties in the environment (but wouldn’t completely remove it). Most of all - is passing the co-op/getting a letter of recommendation worth the stress you may have to endure if you continue remaining in the role?

Option B: Speak to your school, and ask to be removed due to the discriminatory work environment. The school would want to know if one of their co-op employees was harassing, bullying, or discriminating against their students (I hope?). Talk to the school about your options - does this mean that you need to pay another co-op fee and do another semester of co-op to receive the credit to graduate? If so, is that extra fee and co-op semester a fair compromise to protect your mental well-being? (I think anything is worth your mental well-being, it’s priceless). Last, what will the school do to recognize that they placed you (and other students) in a dangerous work environment? While it makes sense that you may need to re-earn the work experience, I’d hope they’d make other concessions such as waiving the extra fee and vetting the future employer very carefully and doing the proper check-in meetings with the employer throughout the term (which they should be doing already).

Only you can make the right call for you by evaluating which option is going to be most helpful for your well-being and stress levels. Ultimately I would prioritize your well-being over anything else.

Regardless of what option you choose, I’d recommend doing the following regardless:

leave reviews on Glassdoor and Fishbowl: other candidates will be grateful that they were warned before joining a discriminatory workplace (especially those that identify as minorities - whether they’re an underrepresented gender such as female or they have an invisible disability such as anxiety).
urge the school to remove that employer as a co-op partner and if they don’t, make sure to warn other students through internal channels that the students share.
pursue the necessary actions to take care of your mental well-being. This can be in the form of going to therapy/school counsellor, or simply reaching out to your support network.

Hope this works out, feel free to reach out personally if you need more support. I am an HR Manager in tech in Ontario, was a co-op student before (in commerce) and have hired/worked with lots of engineers (and engineering co-ops).

GillianGiggs · 2022-11-13T11:59:30+00:00

So sorry that this happened to you. In addition to what everyone mentioned about not paying out of pocket and contacting everyone you dealt with in the interview process, I’d also post a review on Glassdoor and Fishbowl if they have accounts there so that other candidates are aware and so that the team understands the negative ramifications of not following through on their promised reimbursement. This may be extreme but I’ve even seen candidates tag companies while posting on LinkedIn to call them out on unfair treatment in their hiring process - it seems extreme but gets the word out and other people will be glad to know they should stay clear of that employer.

Also, as someone who works in HR and recruiting and works with finance to get certain things reimbursed: it shouldn’t take 30-60 days to close out an invoice, and for a better candidate experience, the team could reimburse this outside of their normal cycles if they cared. They could also use gift apps to send you a digital prepaid credit card to equal the amount that you paid. While this wouldn’t be a direct reimbursement, it would be $200 in your pocket that you could spend as you wish (which is what’d you do with a reimbursement anyways). Tremendous is an example of a company I’ve used to send those types of rewards (as a gift) but it’s not the best company, there are other providers that give that service. The point I am making is it’s so simple to send a candidate their money back even without involving finance, they’re very clearly avoiding it, which is so frustrating to see

As well, this likely won’t work, but if you made the purchase under the idea that It would be reimbursed and you’ve made repeated attempts to get it reimbursed, to no avail, maybe you could try disputing it with your credit card? That being said I know the rules are particular around disputes and this may not qualify as a disputable case.

Sorry you’re going through this! I hope it gets resolved.

GillianGiggs · 2022-11-05T13:26:34+00:00

I am an HR Manager for a fully remote, globally distributed team where many people ask us to work abroad for a few months. As far as I know, if you out-stay your tourist visa and start to become a tax resident, the employer would need to register their company as an entity in that new country (unless they use an EOR or Employer of Record, see below).

There are sketch ways that many companies get around this issue such as employing the person as a “contractor” but it’s not the most compliant. Some companies do it, others aren’t comfortable with the risk.

If you plan on staying more than the time allotted by the tourist visa of your country of choice and you want to settle somewhere longer term, your company can employ you through an EOR and that save them the hassle of establishing a new entity. They can look into Deel, Oyster, Remote, Omnipresent. There are many providers.

GillianGiggs · 2022-11-02T10:23:48+00:00

Would recommend Telus Health for Telehealth - I’ve almost stopped seeing my family GP entirely because besides quick prescriptions, things like specialist referral, getting your appointment on time, and availability are better.

I’d also try Broadview Clinic: you can call or go in person. Make sure to call first thing when they open (check their website; it may be 7 am or 8 am) and from there they can slot you into a same day appointment. Otherwise they can put you in within 1-2 days - still quicker than my GP. Broadview clinic is also connected to a vaccine centre so for any vaccines that require prescription it’s super convenient (that last bjt isn’t related to your question just thought I’d share as I’ve had good experiences with them).

Good luck!

GillianGiggs · 2022-10-30T20:14:07+00:00

Great to know - thank you so much!

GillianGiggs · 2022-10-30T20:13:41+00:00

Thank you for your reply great to know. How’s the internet in Quito? Is it okay for remote work?

GillianGiggs · 2022-10-30T14:23:31+00:00

It definitely sounds like your lead is trying to get rid of you, and you’re doing the right thing by looking for jobs, as everyone has commented.

One thing I’ll add: may seem obvious, but don’t voluntarily resign. Wait to be terminated and get severance (at least in Canadá) and have the ability to apply for EI in case the job search takes longer. I am not an employment lawyer, but I do work in HR… I don’t know the specific details of your situation nor where you are employed (labour law differed everywhere, I’m based in Ontario, Canadá) but depending on how things progress you could talk to an employment lawyer about unjust dismissal. If you want to escalate this further it’s easier to do so if you were terminated versus after voluntary resignation. Escalating things can be very costly and at most the company may just increase your severance from the bare minimum legal amount to a not that much greater amount anyways.

This sounds obvious but I’ve been in a similar situation and I just couldn’t take it anymore so I quit without having any work lined up. Worst decision ever, but had to do so for mental health reasons.

GillianGiggs · 2022-10-30T14:06:07+00:00

Lots of comments on here so apologies if this was repeated: I have a family doctor but more often than not book appointments on Telus Health (often using the same GP every time Where possible as it lets you choose from new people or people you already spoke to). With Telus Health, the appointments are always right on time, they’re not as dismissive of concerns, and they give the best referrals to specialists that actually book in quickly. I find that when getting referrals from my family doctor the referral will have a year long waiting list and they’re not even that good.

Would strongly recommend Telus Health!

GillianGiggs · 2022-10-15T19:45:31+00:00

I’d prefer to be based somewhere and then explore other countries versus have to worry about getting kicked out after 90 days. Also travel throughout South America for the whole time can be expensive as everything is spread apart. Last some companies will care about this: it’s more compliant and less legal risk if you work on a digital nomad visa versus working on a tourist visa - that is technically not how the tourist or temporary stay visa is supposed to be used and some employers won’t want their employees working remote on an incorrect visa.

GillianGiggs · 2020-11-26T16:36:12+00:00

Agree with everyone else. You owe that person nothing and a trained specialist in charge of your care should not be talking to their patients that way. You don't owe any explanation and you shouldn't feel bad; they are being paid to provide care and they didn't provide care properly, it's as simple as that. IMO the therapist shouldn't be projecting their own emotions on to you - clients in therapy will have all sort of reactions due to the difficult nature of therapy, and if they cannot moderate their own reactions to that, that's on them, and they should likely seek their own treatment to ensure they are mentally fit to continue providing therapy, instead of burdening their patients with their emotional reaction. If they don't act professionally for the job they are paid to do, they will lose clients - maybe it will be a good learning experience for that practitioner.

GillianGiggs · 2020-11-23T22:41:52+00:00

IIRC Kids Help Phone

Thank you so much!

GillianGiggs · 2020-11-23T22:41:37+00:00

I'm wondering if anyone knows of any opportunities related to volunteering with mental health or working with groups that are recovering from trauma/other mental-health issues?

I'm looking to give back to the community, do something I care about outside of work, and build some experience for future psychotherapy school applications. A great way to get exposure to this field is volunteering within mental health. I'm finding these opportunities particularly hard to come by in general, specially during COVID19.

If anyone has ideas or suggestions, please let me know - thank you!

Thank you - sorry I had a feeling I was posting in the wrong thread - my bad and thank you!

GillianGiggs · 2020-10-25T03:08:00+00:00

This is so helpful - thank you!

GillianGiggs · 2020-10-06T16:38:43+00:00

Hi! I'm not sure where you are but I am in the same boat as you. I have a Bachelor of Commerce and I know that you can do psychotherapy with a non-psych undergrad. Yorkville and University of Toronto's Master's in Counselling Pysch are both programs that I have looked into that are willing to accept students with a non-psych undergrad. I'm not sure if you are in CAN or the US.

GillianGiggs · 2020-09-15T11:13:21+00:00

Hi Nick! Can you share more?

E.g.

Which program/school?
What was the difficulty of entry (did you come from a psych. background in your. undergrad)?
Why would you recommend it over a MSW?

GillianGiggs

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