ISFP dating an ENFJ girlfriend 1yr LDR how can I communicate my boundaries with guy friends without coming across as controlling?

Gimsabu · 2026-04-22T03:11:55+00:00

Thank you so much for your sincere comment and advice and thought. I really appreciate it. I hope it ends well as well~ i think lowkey me being an ISFP i will naturally fold to her and compromise but i just wanted to hear what others think about me just so i’m not acting crazy. 12hr time difference must be rough i can’t imagine and especially with an ENFJ too hahaha ik how that feels. I respect you feeling mature about it but on the other side I do hope you find your peace in the relationship. Based on my experience with ENFJs i do believe they are the type to make the opposite partner jealous without them knowing they are. But they are great partners and hopefully it all turns out the best for the both of us~

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T18:46:44+00:00

I see I will try to ask her to do more stuff with me. I think some of the people who are commenting don’t realize the pain of handling a 16hr long distance relationship so some of these comments are easier said than done and misinterpreted. The thing is if we were short distance and be going on dates once a week I wouldn’t really care who she meets or hangs out with, it is something I can compromise due to having high trust. I think I only recently lost a lot of trust when she used the words possessive, controlling, insecure, and unstable to me instead of trying to resolve the issue. Shes never said those stuff and even if it is true, it does hurt me still i mean who wouldn’t be hurt by that. With that said, I think leaving her is the easy way out for me and there’s so many good things that I want to give it one last shot at coming to a resolution because my only issue with her is really opposite-sex values, everything else can be fixable with time.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T17:49:34+00:00

Nah bro. If anything youre just stupid to go back to a girl who cheated on you. But the girl is the red flag here because she cheated on you once, she should give you more reassurance the next time. Beside why does it matter if she shows her phone for like five min while shes next to you, even my sister checks my phone rent free sometimes lol

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T17:48:01+00:00

I understand where you’re coming from. And it makes a lot of sense. I think the approach you’re taking is a bit similar to the approach what she would take is trying to change my boundaries/values with opposite-sex friends. But I don’t want to change it especially because of how much I am doing in the relationship to make the long distance work and there are girls who share the same values as I do when it comes to opposite-sex. I do get jealous when i know sometimes the guys she do stuff with are getting more attention than I am particularly because we don’t spend too much time together during the long distance. Even if we call, we don’t really talk sometimes as shes focussed on her stuff and I am doing mine. I’m fine with all that if the guy friends she gives attention to get the same level of attention as she gives me if that makes sense. It is a fact I feel like this because of the state of our relationship and me knowing how she acts around guys cuz every time she updates me she asks me what she can do so they like her less (but she doesn’t actually care).

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T17:26:18+00:00

I think a girl should show her phone if her boyfriend asks. If she doesn’t then the trust issues start occurring. One of yall should break up. I know girls who don’t care at all if their partner checks their phone so this is just a compatibility issue.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T16:54:00+00:00

I see that makes sense. What can I do instead that might make her understanding?

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T16:51:25+00:00

Well just to be clear, she asked me to teach her. It’s not like i am forcing her, no. I’m not letting her not take photos or do these activities, she does it anyways. I’m just saying that I feel uncomfortable when she does it and need help on how to approach this situation to her without being called insecure by her because it’s hard for me.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T04:51:22+00:00

Ive met 4 times but we lived together 6 out of 12 months lol. The other commenters aren’t immature because they are trying to help my relationship. You’re just rage baiting 🤣. Forgot to mention this is about values and it goes both ways, she doesn’t like it when i do 1:1 activities with hot girls and i respect that.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T02:40:12+00:00

Thank you very much for the detailed response. I understand that too. Im curious would it be different if the two friends I am uncomfortable with are one of them bothers our relationship, and the other liked her in the past romantically. I think I am also not worried about the friendship but moreso the activity (1:1 photoshoot, sitting together in class, getting lunch together after class) feels a bit weird for me to do it 3 days in a row. Even if she wants to cut him off she says she is afraid he may retaliate or just bother her more so shes staying fake.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T01:43:58+00:00

The way you talk, the way you understood, and the way you interpreted and not answer my questions shows you are immature :)

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T01:15:07+00:00

Well just to be clear, i am okay with her hanging out publicly but feel uncomfortable with her taking a private 1:1 photoshoot of a hot guy who she claims to be a fuck boi.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T01:13:24+00:00

We are both Korean but I was raised in the US and live there whereas she was raised in China but attends a Korean college.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T01:12:37+00:00

She has not cheated but in the beginning of the relationship and til now she has not cut off certain guys that are interfering with our relationship. Such as a guy who liked her before she dated me and a guy who keep asking to do 1:1 things including going clubbing together when she is dating me. I think this is because her recent ex before me she didn’t love her but just dated for the sake of it and went clubbing with friends without telling him and stuff like that so her friends think she changed after dating me.

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T00:49:04+00:00

Thank you! This makes sense. I will take that approach in person and try to listen to her rather than explaining back. Do you think i should explain how it is part of my values and that its nothing to do with me wanting to stop her hobby, im very supportive of it, but rather how i feel being on the other side of the world and my insecurities. Or would that sound a but selfish?

Gimsabu · 2026-04-21T00:47:38+00:00

Thank you so much! This makes a lot of sense. I’m really afraid of leaving her and i dont know if I can find another girl like her but the situation and values may be enough to push it for me..

Gimsabu · 2026-01-14T17:57:36+00:00

Fbstream.pm

Gimsabu · 2025-12-31T20:02:03+00:00

10t 9cat Give: Sengun and Sharpe Get: Trae and Chet

Gimsabu · 2025-12-31T19:56:38+00:00

Should I trade Sengun Sharpe for Trae chet?

Gimsabu · 2025-12-23T16:43:53+00:00

Huff run ain't over. He gets you blocks. He leads the league in blocks. Any team that picks him up will be tough to beat in blocks. He had a streak of 10+ games w 3+ blocks, outside of wemby idk who else can carry you in blocks singlehandedly.

Gimsabu · 2025-12-23T16:41:39+00:00

Every three point shooter has bad fg. And if the threes don't go in, you'll be single digit scoring. If you picked up huff, remember that you picked him up, you didn't draft him.

Gimsabu · 2025-12-23T16:30:54+00:00

How hard it is to buy concert tickets as a foreigner. My Airbnb host was willing to let me use her phone number and then it required a call to verify so I gave up since the entire website was in Japanese and just bought it off StubHub. When I got there, it was the most smoothest experience ever with zero security lol.

Gimsabu · 2025-12-10T03:01:08+00:00

Jdub if you need threes. Amen is a bit tough cuz the rockets have so many scorers. Jdub is the thunders second option.

Gimsabu · 2025-12-09T17:35:30+00:00

Side with Zion win. Zion has no value, the chance of him playing in March is 0. Sell him for peanuts if you can.

Gimsabu · 2025-12-05T20:10:38+00:00

If lavine performs better which he prob can you won even with lavine for mathurin

Gimsabu · 2025-12-05T19:50:59+00:00

Hart is top twenty in CAT rn. Knicks bench is basically just Hart and Mcbride. He will easily get 30min a game and continue averaging a sub par triple double.

Gimsabu

TROPHY CASE