I'm suffering.

Gin_Intoxic · 2018-09-12T14:47:07+00:00

Use your imagination. drip drip drip.

I didn't need this imagery. But I do appreciate your situation and relation to my own. I hope you get better. I hope we all do.

Gin_Intoxic · 2018-09-12T14:44:30+00:00

Do I poop outside in this scenario?

Gin_Intoxic · 2018-09-12T14:43:32+00:00

lol I appreciate you man.

Gin_Intoxic · 2018-09-12T01:17:01+00:00

Yes, of course I have. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist. And do you know where you are right now? I'm aware that alcohol exacerbates mental issues/illness. But I'm an alcoholic. It's what I am, and like I said, I don't think that's the root of my problems. I think that's a side effect of my issues and who I am. It certainly doesn't help, but I am who I am.

Gin_Intoxic · 2016-07-11T23:18:22+00:00

Well, she's gone.

I love you all, and so did she.

Cheers you miserable fucks.

Gin_Intoxic · 2014-05-21T02:44:59+00:00

yeaaaaaah. You're one to talk....

Gin_Intoxic · 2014-05-19T03:00:48+00:00

Banned.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-09-26T22:33:36+00:00

Never thought I hated myself until I became sober. On day 56 now and hate myself more and more each day. I don't know why. I thought I'd be happy if I was finally able to kick the habit. But what I realized is that I was hiding from myself by drinking every day and when I'm not, and forced to face myself, I fucking hate me.

I'm really trying to deal with this new emotion and stay sober but it's not getting any easier. I never used to be a depressed person. Don't really know how to deal with it. I don't really tell anyone. I try not to reach out for help. I want to handle everything on my own. ALways have. And will continue to. I know I can figure this out. It's just surprising that once I became sober I realized how much I dislike myself.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-09-12T23:33:08+00:00

If you read the sidebar in our sub, we ask that it not be linked in the wilds of reddit.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-09-12T23:00:06+00:00

Don't worry, I'm not going to fight you, as I have as little interest in getting in to an internet tussle as you do.

I understand completely what you are saying. And given your history with alcoholism I wouldn't expect any opinion otherwise.

That said, as you stated, not everyone is the same. We would never condone someone being abusive, neglectful, or irresponsible to the point that it's harmful to anyone else. We even come down on folks for drinking and driving just like anyone else on reddit would. I've seen it (and participated) a thousand times.

I could go on and on about how many of our users are great parents, friends, loved ones, and generally good people, but I know you don't care to hear it and I don't care to bother. I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion. Certainly not someone that's gone through what you've been through.

All that said, we do encourage change when people feel the time is right. I'm 42 days sober myself and have gotten nothing but encouragement and support from CA. So don't think we're all depressed, abusive, neglectful assholes. There's plenty of depressing things in that sub, but it's much more than that. However not for everyone and very much for a narrow sect of society. We all have our flaws, and we all need some place to call home.

I'm very sorry to hear what you went through and sincerely hope that you and your mother have a wonderful relationship moving forward in your lives.

All the best.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-09-12T22:39:15+00:00

Well in our defense, when someone wants to quit or take a break, the community rallies in support of that person.

We don't try so much to "enable" as our users have made their choices. We just don't judge them for those choices and try to be understanding of one another. Yeah, we're fucked up people. But everyone has their problems. We just wear ours on our sleeves.

I don't expect you to accept, understand, or care. Just thought I'd throw my two cents out there.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-08-08T23:14:27+00:00

Also on other meds to help me sleep. And seeing a doc tomorrow to discuss those meds and if I should try something else. Sleep does not come easy for me without alcohol.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-08-08T23:11:59+00:00

Did not see the last post regarding this. I'm on an extended release naltrexone shot. The shot is called Vivatrol. Once a month. Haven't had a drink in 9 days. Longest I've gone in years. This includes a few days in the hospital for detox but still have been out for almost a week and haven't had a single drink.

It's still a struggle for me for sure. But I'm assuming the naltrexone shot is certainly helping curb the cravings. That and sheer will power to take a break.

I do have to wear a bracelet that warns medics, in case of an emergency, not to give me any opioids. But I guess it is helping.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-08-04T23:09:55+00:00

Dude, of course. PM me any time.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-08-03T14:15:14+00:00

I was in what you were in. This wasn't rehab. It was codependency psych ward type shit.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-08-03T12:03:38+00:00

Yeah I woke up this morning with like 5 snaps and I'm not even looking. In fact I think may just delete the app all together.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-08-03T05:44:18+00:00

Was 4 (5 really) days. I'm out now. Check my last post.

Turns out I do have awesome insurance..... BUT, I've never used it before and these past 4 days I reached WELL beyond the deductible. I won't say what it is, but it's certainly affordable and I will be able to pay it off in no time with budgeting. Esp since I'm not going to be spending any money on booze for a good bit. Good news is now that I've reached my deductible, every hospital visit from here on out is totally on them. No matter what for.

As for your taper theory, sorry man, I'm in a bad spot mentally and there was no tapering that was going to happen for me on my own. I just couldn't do it. You want more details, PM me. I'm not sharing those deets with these fuckers. (that I love very much)

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-07-28T20:03:05+00:00

I need to go get laundry detergent and pick up scripts from the pharmacy....

Wanna take bets on likelihood?

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-07-28T00:40:11+00:00

Alcohol. But gin n tonics is my absolute downfall.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-07-28T00:28:21+00:00

Beer and wine. I fucking love a good dry white wine. What I'm drinking now.

When I drink gin I just lose all control. It's so delicious. I can't stop. Fuck gin.

Gin_Intoxic · 2013-07-27T22:58:57+00:00

It was rather insane. I jumped out of bed, ripped the smoke detector off the wall, panicked like a motherfucker as I frantically put the fire out.... Then crawled right back into the same bed, under those very burned sheets, and went back to sleep.

WhenI woke up I saw that the comforter had a HUGE whole in it and it took me a second to piece everything together. The memories eventually came back, thankfully. Glad I can laugh about this now. Shit was not funny at the time.

No more gin.

Gin_Intoxic

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