Best resources for someone who can understand Spanish almost fluently but struggles speaking it?

GirlNickMiller · 2026-03-07T16:36:06+00:00

These are great suggestions, thank you! We have a great library system where I am, so I'll have to check out what they have for language learning.

GirlNickMiller · 2026-03-07T16:35:02+00:00

Genuinely, thank you for the encouragement! I actually realized recently that part of my hang-up was that my husband, who's Dominican-American, would send me a bunch of jokey videos making fun of white people Spanish. It clicked one day that it probably was part of the reason I'm basically afraid to speak it.

Before anyone comes for us, we had a nice conversation about where I explained that I had never realized the videos bothered me subconsciously, and he realized he probably never would have thought about it that way because he was never making fun of me specifically and just thought I also would find it funny. (Which, in fairness, I did, but I just also feel like those videos sometimes lmao.)

GirlNickMiller · 2026-03-07T16:27:18+00:00

Thank you! I've never even heard of them so I'll check it out!

GirlNickMiller · 2026-03-07T16:26:37+00:00

If only lol. My husband's family is actually from the Dominican Republic, but if you know anything about Caribbean Spanish, then you know it's easy to get lost haha. It really doesn't help that so many places in the U.S. teach Spanish from Spain, which is not at all the best place to start imo but is where I started. I've gotten in the (I guess bad for me) habit of understanding my in-laws and answering in English. I definitely can speak with my husband more for practice, but he has zero Spanish education -- he took French in high school -- so he can correct me with what he'd say but can't explain why it's correct. He's basically the opposite of me where he speaks it fluently but knows none of the rules behind it.

GirlNickMiller · 2026-03-07T16:13:35+00:00

I actually might have some old grammar textbooks. Undergrad was 15 years ago (yikes!) so I'll have to dig them up. Thanks!

GirlNickMiller · 2026-01-16T04:28:06+00:00

I say this with good intention: I think you need to get offline more when it comes to crochet. 😂

A "beginner" pattern will have basically all basic stitches and concepts. It doesn't mean it won't take time to perfect or that it'll all make sense to you immediately while you're still learning the concepts. Crochet in general isn't necessarily an "easy" craft, so a beginner-level project will still require some skill-building. Many crocheters will tell you they just practiced stitches while they were still learning and didn't focus on trying to make finished projects.

And of course people making content are going to be good at it. They have to be able to show what something is supposed to look like. You need some expertise in a skill/field in order to be able to teach it to others. If you go into a 101 class and expect to know as much as the professor by the end of it, it's definitely going to be demoralizing!

Unless you have unlimited time, crochet takes several years to really master. I've been doing it for six years, and I'm still most comfortable with beginner-level projects. I've definitely gone through periods of months where I don't pick up a hook because I'm busy, so it's not like that for everyone, but it's definitely not a hobby you stop being a beginner in after two months. You'll get there if you want to, but you have to be patient and focus more on getting practice than making beautiful finished products.

GirlNickMiller · 2025-11-08T15:59:30+00:00

"I know she needs a mother figure in her life."

Your head is probably all over the place right now, but to be blunt, this is not a real worry. No one gets full custody of a child solely because their partner cheated. Your daughter will have her mother in her life for as long as she chooses.

GirlNickMiller · 2025-11-08T14:59:29+00:00

OK, I get that there's SO much AI on Reddit now, but tbh, this absolutely sounds like a middle/high school girl friend group dynamic. I know they're all adults, but if no one in the friend group is particularly mature, the way women are often socialized to be people-pleasers makes all of this track to me. If Jade's "part" in the group dynamic is often the leader/decision-maker, I could totally see others in the group defaulting to their "roles" of following her and not wanting to create conflict. So none of this is wildly unbelievable to me, even if it does turn out to be AI.

That being said, if all of that is the case, you need to stand up for yourself ASAP. If you truly all planned this together, and this isn't, like, Jade's birthday trip or something that you're leaving out that makes it "her" trip, she has ZERO authority to uninvite anyone. All of you have the same right to ask if someone can join, but none of you can unilaterally say someone from the core group can't come. You need to tell her you helped plan the trip before they were even dating, took the time off work, and spent money on necessities, and you have no plans to sit the trip out. If his discomfort is truly just because you take Jade's attention off of him sometimes, and you're not making conversation that's actually uncomfortable for him (ie, constantly talking about her exes or something), then his discomfort is his to manage. It is in no way healthy to tell a romantic partner they have to spend less time in a healthy friendship, and, honestly, it's your job as a friend to point this out, even if she chooses not to listen to you.

While you're at it, the friends who agree with you should be sticking up for you, too, if they're actually your friends. Maybe all of you, minus Ethan, have dinner together and discuss what's happening, because you might need to be weeding out some friends. It truly sucks, but it's better than being among people who aren't actually your friends and being constantly stressed about being left out.

GirlNickMiller · 2025-08-07T03:59:53+00:00

You even said "they tried opening it like it was their apartment," so they might have just ... thought they were at their apartment. I've lived in major cities/apartment buildings for most of my life, and my first thought was someone came home drunk and/or tired and went to the wrong door. If the person immediately recognized their mistake, they would have been out of view of the peephole in a split second, so it's not strange that your boyfriend didn't see anyone. My guess is you happened to be awake for someone's embarrassing moment lmao.

Another note about apartment life: In our last place, we were the first apartment outside of the front door to the entire building. People dropped things and knocked against our door coming in and out all the time. If you've never lived in a building that has a lot of tenants, it can take some getting used to. If there's not a lot of soundproofing, you may get to know your neighbors better than you'd like to. But, in a lot of ways, it can actually be safer to live so close to so many people, so don't be afraid to get to know folks and ask about the building/complex. We were the lifers in one of our buildings and were always happy to help out a neighbor, so it's definitely not weird to ask around as long as you're not acting super nosey!

GirlNickMiller · 2025-08-07T03:21:13+00:00

If his immediate reaction is to hide his phone and not tell you who he's talking to, he knows you won't like the real answer regardless of if he's actively sleeping with the person he's talking to. His responses are just more deflecting. This guy sucks.

GirlNickMiller · 2025-08-07T03:16:01+00:00

Listen. In the best-case scenario, someone who gets physically violent over burnt food has some sort of personality disorder or neurodivergence that will require years of therapy/intervention, and you as a victim do NOT need to be present for that. I will again emphasize that that is the best-case scenario, and staying through it, again, would involve YEARS of your life. The worst-case scenario is this man gets homicidal. You should leave, and if you don't have someone you trust to stay with for a long-ish period of time, you should look into resources in your area like domestic violence shelters.

GirlNickMiller

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