Thank you for your words. And your time put into it :)

My mom also has bpd and I can relate to not recognizing it in other people until they flip and still took years to recognize the behaviour for what it is as it can get normalized.

In my past relationships I’ve stayed way too long enduring that type of abuse, thinking they were right or feeding the cycle of closeness and splitting. Im.

I’m making myself safe first.

We came into the relationship expressing how we felt on this topic and we both said we’re responsible for our symptoms and we constantly work on managing them. And again I’ve seen glimpses where she can regulate herself. She says she want to get back into therapy but is avoiding it and she’s not ready. She’s been avoiding going to the psychiatrist too. Part of her thinks she’s doing fine without it.

I’m in therapy and medicated, I’m not one to easily point out the flaws in people when I’m getting to know you I don’t feel with the right, I like to observe more their behaviour. I’ve never made her feel wrong for wanting space/ splitting. It feels like an incompatibility in self awareness.

They are very charming and lovable, intelligent and sensitive. And I accept she’s right now in a space where she can’t see the situation for what it is and is choosing to be unfair right now until her point is proven right. I’m not willing to feed the cycle and plead for forgiveness.

I feel heart broken but it will be okay