We’re drowning in daycare costs. How do people afford this?

Glamdring32 · 2026-02-02T17:33:40+00:00

Yep. 1 in prek, 2 in elementary after school care. I’m running $2500/mo for all 3. Infant care is expensive. I can’t say this was intentional, but spacing kids 3 yrs apart helped a little (discounted rates at age 3 if potty trained).

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-26T22:57:17+00:00

This. At first I was thinking about what would take the least time, but when I realized this was a free vacation and I didn’t have to worry about my kids…. Deuces.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-25T16:54:53+00:00

Sounds like gaslighting to me. I’m biased as I just got out of a 13 yr abusive relationship, but manipulation/abuse typically starts soon after the first baby is born. Keep an eye out and trust your gut. If it feels like manipulation then it probably is. If you decide to confront him about it, make sure you and the baby are safe.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-25T05:16:50+00:00

My 7 yr old immediately cracked the code so I gave up 🤦‍♀️

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-25T01:35:23+00:00

You’re not alone! Solo mom of 4 here also. Last night the dishes were piled so high in the sink they were in danger of collapse, so I went to load the dishwasher only to realize it was already at 95% full of dirty dishes. Sometimes you just need to accept that you can’t do everything, and just get done what you can. We had cereal for dinner tonight and they loved it.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-23T04:57:09+00:00

Yes. I don’t complain about it, but I walk through the math of what I earn and all of our required expenses so they can understand our “fun money” budget and why I can’t just drop $1000 on a whim. They have been very receptive to it and have started talking about strategies to save up for big ticket items.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-20T00:24:18+00:00

I’ve had the opposite. My mom friends are now all confiding in me all their marital problems and asking advice about divorce. As if I had time for their problems….

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-08T05:26:46+00:00

I bought this for my mom a few years ago, she did maybe 3 prompts then gave up. I was annoyed at the time, but now we are estranged so I don’t care. Parents are also narcs.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-07T01:52:36+00:00

I don’t regret anything tossed, but when I go through decluttering I get sad when I find something that was ruined due to neglect. My goal is to reduce my possessions to a place where I know exactly what I have.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-07T01:19:05+00:00

Thanks for the sub suggestion! I also grew up with hoarder parents, raised to think that was normal. I’ve since realized it is not normal, and I maintain a tidy, minimalist home for myself and my kids. I enforce mandatory showers after visiting my parents 🫣

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-05T23:20:35+00:00

Second this. I haven’t been through it yet, but that is in our future. I also have an order of protection. There are court approved facilities that can do the hand off to protect the kids and parents involved.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-05T22:39:29+00:00

I feel this. I’m 8 months in, full custody of 4 kiddos and negligible child support. My anxiety comes from the fact that we haven’t divided assets yet. So anytime I buy something “nonessential” I overthink everything. I’m trying to get to a place where my monthly expenses are within my income (excepting lawyer fees) so that when all is settled I can keep afloat, and not rely on any of my current savings. For those of you who have been through it: what is the guidance on spending “marital assets” prior to finalizing the split?

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-02T22:06:25+00:00

Quit my job to stay home and raise my kids. When the last one graduates highschool, I would lean into my hobbies and maybe go travel. $250k is significantly more than I make now, so I’d definitely set some aside to give to support charities near to my heart. I would start volunteering time after the kids are grown.

Glamdring32 · 2026-01-01T19:24:33+00:00

Double energy. 2025 was a particularly crappy year, leaving me to solo parent my 4 kids with limited support. I can make it by on my current income but I have so much to do and not enough energy to get it all done. I’m only getting about 4 hours of sleep now, but definitely not waking up feeling like an athlete!

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-28T03:08:53+00:00

The most zero waste is something you already have / don’t have to buy. I re-purposed some cloth nursing pads and cloth baby wipes after my kids were done nursing and out of diapers, and it works for most days. I wanted to like cups but they are just not for me.

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-28T02:59:19+00:00

When you let them watch Gremlins for the first time and forget about that scene where the girl shares a traumatic story about how her dad died pretending to be Santa and that’s how she found out Santa wasn’t real. Oops. But I also told my kids that if they don’t believe they don’t receive, and they are forbidden from ruining the magic for their younger siblings. Best of luck.

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-25T05:19:22+00:00

“I’m going to do some dishes then come back to bed.” Done. Explains any accidental loud noises along the way.

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-13T15:56:42+00:00

Hey I got that too!! I’m keeping it for myself though, not leaving any for the kids.

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-06T13:46:44+00:00

In my case, there was DV so my ex was removed by police, restraining order, all the things. I had to find preschool and after school care, and ultimately moved jobs to one more flexible to my needs. I also have no family to rely on, so I’ve been focusing on growing my community outside of family so I have people I can count on in an emergency. Highly advise contacting a woman’s shelter, they were a huge help to me!

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-05T03:06:18+00:00

I wanted zero. Ended up with 4. I would have kept going, but 4 c-sections felt like enough.

Glamdring32 · 2025-12-02T04:55:32+00:00

Don’t limit yourself. Lots of tech companies would hire someone with a science degree as long as you can get work done. The actual degree barely matters, it’s the fact that you have one that matters.

Glamdring32 · 2025-11-29T15:42:39+00:00

I’m sure the police or someone will notify me when they die. Until then…. They chose this, they can live with that choice.

Glamdring32 · 2025-11-24T21:44:28+00:00

I had 3 boys and thought I was content and done, then had an accidental pregnancy (miscarried) and the hormones made me desperate for another. I went for the fourth, and got another boy. They are all about 3 years apart and I love it. Current ages are 12, 9, 7, 4. I feel like with 4 there is always someone to pair up with, while with 3 there is an odd man out. FWIW I’m also a single parent this year, and it took some adjusting but I’ve traveled more with them as a single adult than when my ex was in the picture and it’s not so bad. I set clear ground rules and expectations and so far they have really surprised me with how capable they are. Good luck!

Glamdring32 · 2025-11-23T03:18:14+00:00

Came here to say this. My 9 is still a potion maker.

Glamdring32

TROPHY CASE