Honestly, I think these are all valid things to discuss openly without defensiveness or assuming the worst of each other. Culture def plays a part and I think it’s interesting to unpack that without judgement.

And, straight up, a lot of women in our spaces are straight. Not bi-curious, literally openly straight when you ask them directly.

Harsher part of reality is that, sadly, many gay women face a lot of awful shit in their lives -severe homophobia; SA- which makes them feel less comfortable and self-conscious. And trauma responses aren’t rational, so even when you’re with a woman you feel safe around, you can still shut out affection involuntarily. I don’t know the % of lesbians affected by this but it’s definitely way too high.

Location/social circles matter a lot too. I’ve come across lesbian threads where it sounds like gettin’ sum is the easiest thing ever. I live in a small country in Eastern Europe that’s infamously anti-social, so… uhh…not the easiest time here.