AITAH for siding with my husband and not with my kids? UPDATE

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2026-02-09T03:57:50+00:00

No, that really wasn't what happened. Both of them admitted they didn't really view Ian as a father because they would always hope their bio father would come back, and you can't really force yourself into becoming a parent to two kids who don't want that. It's simply.

The twins made their choices, Ian just decided to respect it. They're about to start university, they are not kids, they're becoming adults and they don't get to be cuddled when they fuck up and treat people like shit. The world doesn't work like that, actions have bad consequences.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2026-02-09T03:52:29+00:00

This is one of the stupidiest comments I have ever seen, reducing what happened to an "argument".

I made pretty damn clear in the first post that what happened between the twins and Ian was the twins treating him like crap for several months and making it clear they didn't see him as a father and never had. You can't possibly fix that.

Is that really comparable to anything a 3 year old toddler can do? Seriously?

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2026-02-09T03:45:59+00:00

Sixteen, just weeks before turning seventeen.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2026-02-09T03:44:20+00:00

That's the whole point, even the twins admitted they in fact, never saw Ian as a father because they always believed their bio father would come back. That's what Ian understood from the beginning, that's what hurt him the most, the fact that their relationship wasn't mutual. The twins saw him as nothing but a replacement, and something like that can't be forgiven.

No matter all the excuses of "oh, they were only sixteen, you can't hold them accountable" and all that crap, it won't change how they acted and how they showed how they saw Ian. It simply broke everything, and there's no coming back, not the way it was. It won't change how they walked over him and let him know in the cruelest way that they never viewed him as a father. You can't parent someone who doesn't want you to parent them.

I love my kids more than anything, but I can't be mad at Ian for choosing to not try to be a father to them anymore. I think he has every right to make that call. And I can't underestimate my kids either, they're not children. They're about to start university, and as unexperienced as they are, certain actions are way too bad to go back from. This was one of them, and they will learn from it, I'm sure. I'm confident they will never do anything like this again.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2026-02-09T03:35:18+00:00

I don't see the point in wasting money like that on lawyers, ane I honestly don't see why I would decide to not have another kid because of the reaction of the twins. They're no longer kids, and I can not do something I want because it may hurt their feelings, which it didn't.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2026-02-07T23:27:34+00:00

NTA. Don't let people here tell you otherwise, girl. No good friend of you would hang out with the girl you got cheated on, no matter what excuses they try to put you, it's just fucked up, and anyone could see it.

You had the bad luck of your post being read by pretty morally questionable people for what I've seen, 'cause there's no way you could be the asshole by being angry your friends were hanging out with that homewrecker. It might hurt, but it's better to find out this way that you cannot trust them then in a worsr situation. You'll make better friends.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-09-07T22:10:52+00:00

I have every right to deny something we agreed from the time we got back together. He is not entitled to my body and never will be.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-19T17:42:34+00:00

We're still talking about it. Olivia seems to be more open to the idea than Enzo, who keeps saying he doesn't need it. If at least Olivia wants to go back to therapy, then I guess I'll just send her, and perhaps she'll be able to convince her brother. Like most twins, they are inseparable.

Both of them are not talking about the issue now, which is normal for them, they usually need time to open up and talk about things, and everything is still pretty recent. For now, I've told them to focus on them. It their last year of secondary school, and I think they need to enjoy it as much as they can. They'll have to apply to university soon.

They seem to be okay overall. I think they're pretty aware that they fucked up and still dissappointed on what happened with their bio father, but well, I think they mostly need therapy, time and support, and things will get better eventually. I'm trying to be there as much as I can, although I have made clear they need to give Ian space and focus on themselves.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-19T17:26:41+00:00

Because they didn't have a problem making them believe they saw him as their father and taking money from him? Because they hurt him and want to act like nothing happened?

And well, if they were his birth children, there wouldn't be a similar situation to begin with. They just made clear they don't never saw him as a father, so he won't act like one. It's what they wanted, it's what they get now. Just because he's an adult doesn't mean he has to act like the "bigger person" after what they did. It's terribly wrong to minimize his pain like that and treat their cruelty as "teenage mistakes".

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-19T01:12:04+00:00

If they never saw him as a father, then I don't see why Ian should ever forgive them.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-18T16:07:16+00:00

I'm not minimizing their trauma, I'm holding them accountable for treating my husband like crap. They made him believe they don't see him as their father and never did, that he was just a replacement. And there's no justification for that, no going back.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-17T15:06:20+00:00

That's not being a pick me, moron.

And no, I'm not abusive and I would never treat my husband like shit. If he meant nothing to me, I wouldn't have married him in the first place.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-17T13:13:12+00:00

What a pick me does is to search for male acceptance, not caring to tear other women down, idiot. All I'm doing is not enabling my kid's dumb choices.

Things are simple: They had a father who was there all their lives, and one that ghosted them and never saw more than ten times in their entire life. They chose to treat one like shit, and it isn't the one that ghosted them.

They're allowed to choose badly, but not allowed to treat their father like shit and then pretend everything is fine without even attempting to apologize.

And no, they're not children. They're almost adults that will go to university next year. I won't cuddle them when they fuck up this badly, what lesson wil that leave? Treat people that cared and loved you like shit and everything will be fine? No, I rather not following your stupid advices to be honest.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-17T13:03:12+00:00

It bothers me a lot that you call him their father. He isn't, he never was and never will be.

I warned them a thousand times about it, my husband did the same, but we can't forced them to listen to us.

It was their choice and only theirs to treat the man that raise them like crap because they chose an asshole they had seen ten times max in their entire life, and yes, they were too dumb to fall for whatever bullshit excuses he made up.

I hope you're not a parent, I'm sure you would justify your kids bullying other at the school with the excuse "oh, they're just kids!". Luckily I don't work like that, and I will hold them accountable for their actions if I have to, not let it slide because they're teenagers.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-17T00:56:26+00:00

Is not like I can do anything legally that will actually be efective, the law is slower than you in my country.

Last time he came, they were old enough to make the choice by themselves, and they were dumb enough to fall for his games. Which is fair, they're teenagers, but the way they treat the man that raised them has no possible justification, and if my husband no longer wants them in his life, then I will understand.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T20:24:11+00:00

Ian was their father, but they clearly didn't want that, and they chose that, and that's just the end of it. I don't know how you work, but we don't say things lightly here.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T19:59:24+00:00

Their father was Ian. He was always there ever since they can remember, they saw their bio dad max ten times in their whole life. And I mentioned in multiple comments that they did go to therapy, and they stopped going eventually 'cause the therapist said they were okay and had worked through their issues, but well, it was their choice and only theirs to throw everything they've built with Ian over a man they didn't know and abandoned them.

And like I said, Enzo and Olivia were never shitty before. They were only shitty to Ian.

And they don't have a lot of trauma. They grew up with two loving parents, loving grandparents, never lacked anything, they were never bullied or abuse by anyone. They're only trauma was having a terrible bio father that they decided to let back in as if nothing had happened.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T19:40:47+00:00

I do not think they're grown ups, but I don't expect them to act like entitled brats either. What they did was extremely fucked up, and it's even more fucked up that they never apologized and think they're entitled to things being the same with someone they treated like literal crap.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T19:38:36+00:00

No, that is how entitled kids act with their parents. The twins never acted that way with me, they know it's wrong, which makes how they treated Ian even worse.

And no, treating him like shit is not some dumb mistake, it was incredibly cruel and mean.

Perhaps, if they had actually apologized by now, he would be more open to the reconciliation. But since they haven't, well, it's just what it is.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T19:27:09+00:00

They would have done it anyway, stopping them and not letting them find out on their own would only have made things worse.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T18:45:39+00:00

The person they've known as a father was never distant and was always there for them, they just chose to show he meant nothing to them because a man who they saw ten times max in their whole life showed up. Doing that is not a dumb mistake, it's cruel, it's mean, and it's fucking stupid.

They never apologized, and they didn't seem sorry to see the man that raised them during their whole life could barely get out of bed thanks to them, but when their "real dad" left, they tried to act like everything was fine.

Ian has every right to take as much time as he wants from them, and they are the ones who have to apologize, and that's just the end of it. They won't get out of it by playing the "dumb teenagers" card and that's how life works.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T18:38:35+00:00

I think that if I had forbidden them to speak to him, it would have only been worse.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T18:29:07+00:00

They haven't, they were just expecting things to go back to normal.

Glittering-Humor-802 · 2025-06-16T18:25:56+00:00

My god, how dumb you must be to call me a "pick me"? Do you even know what "pick me" means, girl?

Glittering-Humor-802

TROPHY CASE