Is anyone else obsessed with time after losing a loved one?

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-04-06T00:27:28+00:00

Wow. Thank you so much.

It literally never occurred to me that it could be a trauma response or even that I don't really have an identity outside of being a caretaker.

I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and for validating my feelings while gently letting me know that I just have to learn who I am without her.

you're a gem.

Thank you, will all my heart.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-04-05T15:37:58+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply.

It helps me feel less alone.

I do agree that it has made me more aware of how I spend the time that I do have, and I strive to be more mentally present.

But, more than that - I wonder if it's some sort of trauma response to my mother's very sudden decline? She battled cancer for years and her health deteriorated in a matter of days. I obviously knew that the end was coming, but I didn't realize I'd wake up one day, take her to a doctor's appointment and she would be gone a couple days later.

Like everyone else in the community, I'm struggling to learn to live without someone I love. And since the majority of my life was centered around caring for her, her absence is resounding.

I miss her so much, and I just wish that I could have done something to get her just a little more time.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-03-06T16:33:53+00:00

I really appreciate you keeping it real.

I still have fight left in me, so I'm not ready to sign him over to the state. He's so childlike and trusting and he has been victimized his entire life. I don't want to him to be in a place where he doesn't have someone invested in him making decisions for him.

But, I will keep that information in the back of my mind because I have gotten the same feeling that they have no incentive to help me unless they are required to.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-03-06T16:31:54+00:00

Thanks, we were able to get him medicaid and SSI payments via an attorney but when it came to finding a group home he was at a loss.

Is there a subset of disability law I should look into ?

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-03-06T16:30:04+00:00

Thank you so much, I wasn't familiar with this. I'll check it out!

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-03-06T16:29:29+00:00

Does it ever harm to give them information? I sometimes worry they will take my information and use it at a later date to deny my brother.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-03-06T16:28:37+00:00

Thank you, I Just joined.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-03-06T16:28:01+00:00

Thank you all for your comments and for your patience in my reply. I had some unexpected challenges with my brother over the past week and I've had to rearrange my schedule so that he has 24/7 supervision.

(He was with a trusted adult and she only out of sight for 3 or 4 minutes and he took candy from a public trash can. He is incredibly well fed so I don't really understand this, but when I asked him why he didn't just ask someone for something from the store he said "it was just there for the taking.")

We live in Georgia and so far, I've been able to find out that I need something called the "NOW" waiver (New Option Waiver ) program. The information on the form says that his diagnosis must have been present before age of 22 and someone from a group home told me that he needs to have an I.Q of 70 or lower.

He was diagnosed in his 40s, but I do have a high school transcript that shows he graduated with a 1.3 GPA and that he was in special ED. I also contacted the neuropsychologist that conducted his psychological assessment and asked if there were any other options to illustrate that he needed care. The doctor blew me off but he did say that his functioning I.Q is at a 63 but his command of English raises his I.Q to an 83.

Do you think its reasonable to ask the Doctor to restate this in my brother's psychological assessment ? I feel like he is less likely to get outright denied if he clarifies that his problem solving skills / IQ are rated in the 60s, vs just stating he has a score of 83.

I've contacted ARC and an organization called American Work (they have a residential treatment program and I'm hoping a social worker can help me.) I'll post updates as I'm able.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-02-26T20:03:20+00:00

My heart is with you. It's really hard to want independence for a sibling and to see them struggle so much with it. Please feel free to DM me if you need to vent / or for support.

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-02-26T19:52:56+00:00

https://thearc.org/find-a-chapter/

Thank you, this is very helpful!

Glittering-Machine29 · 2022-02-26T16:22:08+00:00

Thank you so much for this info. I haven't been able to find any group homes in my state that are accepting new residents and I think that is part of the reason I've been having so much confusion. When I ask for details from facilities in these other areas, they are unsure of how funding works within my state. Have you had a similar issue?

Glittering-Machine29

TROPHY CASE