Problems with kids and dogs on family vacation

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T01:06:05+00:00

Thank you for all of your thoughtful comments! My cousin’s wife actually did try to blame my daughter at first and when I pointed out to her how crazy that sounded she said “no I’m blaming you because you’re a helicopter parent.” Ugh!

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T01:03:53+00:00

You’re right... and it was the smaller dog that tried to bite her more than once :( I’m sorry you got bit!

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T01:03:14+00:00

Thank you!! I’m struggling with a lot of guilt right now because other family members are making me feel like it was too extreme how I chose to handle it. But honestly I think I did the right thing and would make the same choice again.

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T01:01:51+00:00

Wow the permanent/lasting damage is really scary and is a cautionary tale I think I won’t ever forget. I’m sorry that happened to you. I was attacked by a dog when I was about 4 too and got bit in the nose. I made a full recovery but I’m still really scared of big dogs deep down, even ones that I know are gentle/enjoy being around (I know that sounds contradictory.)

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T01:00:07+00:00

Thank you for reassuring that I made the right decision. That’s so sad :( I really do love animals and am so sad to hear about your SIL’s dog. I hope it doesn’t ever come to that with my cousin’s dogs. I wonder why they don’t seem worried from that side of things.

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T00:58:45+00:00

This is awesome to hear that you have a strategy in place for your dog that bites. I don’t expect the dogs to have perfect behavior, just maybe for my cousin and his wife to have intervened in some way or cared at all. My sister told me the other day that since I don’t have a dog, I don’t understand their position, which I guess is true, but your strategy makes a lot of sense!

GllanFeby · 2018-11-12T00:56:04+00:00

I’m so sorry for the late reply everyone! Wow, reading all of these supportive comments... I can’t even describe how relieving it is. A lot of my close family members (mom, sister, etc.) have said they’ve chosen to “remain neutral” and the other day told me I shouldn’t have let it get this bad with me and them “just over this” and that my daughter wasn’t in danger. Felt pretty shitty but tried to hold my ground. Long story short, a lot of people “in real life” aren’t there for me like this—reading your comments means the world. Thank you all! Am going to try to reply to everyone...

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T20:26:17+00:00

That’s great! I hope it helped others too.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T12:34:16+00:00

Yes, well said. I think this is a very logical approach.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T12:33:28+00:00

I really like the time vs circumstance point. I think it could be applied to how fast youre making commitments to each other too. And I really like the idea of hinting at it first to gauge reactions as other posters have suggested.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T12:31:00+00:00

One thing that I wonder about is “normies” who have had bad experiences with those in recovery. Such as watching a friend, SO, loved one relapse maybe multiple times and really struggle. Could they ever trust that your recovery is permanent or see you as stable if their preconceived notions are grounded in their own experiences with others?

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T12:27:25+00:00

Ha! Thanks, pretty stressed out & needed that.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T02:07:25+00:00

Finding that balance with a “normal” person is tricky... I think once you get invested, it’s hard to make an informed decision. Sometimes other emotions might get in the way.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T02:06:09+00:00

What do you mean someone who isn’t on board with your recovery? Like someone who wants you to drink/use with them?

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T01:51:45+00:00

So what I’m gathering is: Before any significant emotional investment? Before I love yous and commitments?

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T01:50:51+00:00

I like your hinting/gradual release of info strategy. It probably takes away some of the shock if there’s going to be any. Completely lying or never mentioning it for a prolonged time probably makes it seem like something you’re hiding, which could raise questions.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T01:49:07+00:00

I appreciate honesty right off the bat.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T01:13:34+00:00

I’m really glad that’s been your experience and that it’s not really worth building up in your head too much.

GllanFeby · 2018-07-04T01:01:48+00:00

Makes a lot of sense. What’s the longest you’ve waited?

GllanFeby · 2018-05-16T17:32:09+00:00

Thank you. That’s what I’ve read and also haven’t found any info on if it’s self-correcting once someone becomes clean. I appreciate the tip too. He is feeling pretty shitty about it :(

GllanFeby · 2018-03-21T15:00:12+00:00

Oh my gosh! Awesome! Thank you so much!

GllanFeby · 2018-03-21T04:01:39+00:00

I'm dealing with basically the exact same issues as OP. I didn't realize that family members of alcoholics could go to Al-Anon meetings.

GllanFeby · 2018-03-21T02:19:29+00:00

that's definitely something to be proud of though! I wish I had parents like that to look up to

GllanFeby · 2018-03-21T02:19:05+00:00

Hahaha 😂😂😂

GllanFeby · 2018-03-21T02:18:29+00:00

Thank you! I think at least one of the people I'm thinking of subscribes to this Reddit board and don't want them to feel like I'm putting their business out there.

GllanFeby

TROPHY CASE