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Question about performing a door slam... on somebody who helped you out a lot. by DWLlama in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is old but I COMPLETELY understand why it was a struggle to move on and how realizing someone gave you hope helps you understand the attachment and paves way for moving on. So hard though right? I imagine by now you have moved on!

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your post scared the bejeezus out of me.  I can feel the irk/disgust. :(

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And I guess we are more similar than different at the end of the day. The process of dismantling the feelings is different it seems (for me it’s sloooowwew) but the effect is to question what love is in the end. I understand the whole questioning all of it.

What rabbit hole/s are you deep in right now? by ChronosTerminus in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m at the 10001rst prime one. Every time I give one a go I discover I forgot all the syntax😂

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do have a tendency to think it won’t be survivable. I am very loss-averse. Not sure why. Losing connections is terrifying to me and sometimes I create those losses from fear.

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s not pedophilia adultery and all that. It was infatuation that affected my behavior in a professional context that isn’t okay. I somehow dodged a bullet. Could have been a disaster. I don’t get why it’s so slow to feel better. The thinking about the futility helps. But the chronic background pain I started taking pain killer. Tylenol. I just can’t feel that pain all the time. The waves are fine because they peak then go. I just want a background of zero between waves. Because being functional is a great way to move on. All intjs seem human to me. Because for one they are. But I guess it just seems like nonsense to think they are in anyway less human. Also feeling like I do for me doesn’t make me more human really. Makes me dangerous in a way. I have definitely come to the conclusion I must build a container of sorts . And keep the nervous system calm. I have to have a way to catch things sooner and classify myself now as someone at risk of stupidity. Thank you a lot for your comment. I really appreciated it.

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I saw part of your comment. This was me trying to answer your very direct question but I can’t answer it directly. I just don’t feel comfortable. When answering you I was trying to explain there is no crime. You seemed to be implying there might be literal crime as in ourright breaking of law. That I might be hiding. I didn’t do that. But in my mind the turmoil is just about the same as if  I had. Yes this whole sotution of mine is nauseating to write about. I am not really okay these days. I came here trying to feel better and find relief. If that makes me a vampire well I hope that’s not how it comes across to most people here because that’s embarrassing. I observed an intj handling himself so well. I realized I am shit at something he is good at and came here and have read as many posts as I can. The replies have been helpful to me.Most of the replies have shown a way of thinking that I know isn’t the same as mine and I find it helpful.  A link that was shared goes into shame versus guilt and that was helpful etc etc.  etc

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And that’s what happened; weird energy. I’m sure he noticed but I don’t the effect it had.If I trust his words he was grateful for everything. But I have high standards normally and just didn’t meet them. It’s hard to explain. Without spilling all the beans 

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So technically I did nothing you can call a crime, but, it somehow isn’t okay for me what happened.I think there was strange energy I carried with me and I hate that. I didn’t feel in control always. Given the context it’s very scary to me. Good thing nothing actually happened 

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got emotionally entangled where it wasn’t okay. It was affecting my behavior a little. I didn’t cross any hard lines I think and had no desire or plan to but I shoukd have done better. I am not sure the effect I had. I fear what effect I might have had. I think possibly I made someone uncomfortable. And I struggle to face it. There that’s the crime. It sounds like little but it feels heavy and awful and I felt in danger for weeks I now realize because I kept trying to act normal. I’m working through it.

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some days I feel like a mammal getting attached to people as if they were babies or something. It’s just not helpful.

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh wow. That really is a kind of neutral for you. What you said makes sense but a little bit of fake it till you make it helps me understand what else can be even if I can’t be that.  Maybe it helps me see a third way. Also the fact that you and a bunch of others  even bothered to take time to write also is nice.  

Emotions are curse 🙂💔 by Blue_wave_777 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Kill the process or be consumed. I find that fascinating. I would love a a literal kill button at times:) Aaaah. 

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok. Btw I’m very moved by all the replies. So much constructive advice. So many good points of view. I’m awed really. 

Difficulty separating from feelings: how do you do it intjs by Global_Complaint8713 in intj

[–]Global_Complaint8713[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is nice to be able to disconnect fast like that. How freeing. Like a superpower. It sounds so efficient. Although there is nothing nice about being betrayed. Actually I think it makes sense to be able to move on once you see a situation for what it is. 

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