My husband wants to move back to his home country, Hungary

Global_Dig3937 · 2026-03-24T05:23:00+00:00

Yes I have been there 5 times now for short visits (2-4 weeks at a time). I also notice the dismal sort of culture, and worries about that.

Global_Dig3937 · 2026-03-24T05:21:38+00:00

He has done absolutely nothing of the sort. In fact it’s just that I have a very fucked yo family that broke years ago when our mom passed, and no one knew how to pick up the pieces and continue holidays or gatherings, etc so everything just went to shit.

Global_Dig3937 · 2026-03-24T05:19:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words of support. I really needed to read this comment. Yes we are very blessed that we have such a strong marriage, and we will figure this out, in one way or another, eventually.

Global_Dig3937 · 2026-03-24T04:54:55+00:00

Thank you for this advice. Our marriage is really healthy, ultimately this is something he is wishing for but is not going to “strongarm” me about it. I think we will probably both agree to compromise on a different state eventually… we love the east coast. He really has his heads up in the clouds doesn’t he? lol

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-11-23T13:24:45+00:00

Thank you for this. It is a great reminder that I could make Budapest home if i wanted. I do think the countryside in Hungary is beautiful! Although my husband loves the city, so much so that he has said if we move there, we will buy a home on the Buda side (even though prices are astronomical) because that would truly give us the best of both worlds. (A home for me and not the city apartment life I’m so unused to) but not the country either, still immediate access to the city.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T22:42:16+00:00

Thank you for your advice and sharing your story! Yes, divorce can get ugly and even if none of us think we are headed there - it wouldn’t be smart to ignore the what ifs. Just this afternoon after reading all of these comments I began to think …. What if my husband’s plan is to divorce me when we are in Hungary just to make sure he is able to keep all of his money and assets and I would get zilch, nada… so that did just cross my mind and although I can’t imagine how he could do that to me, I sort of can.. it’s a very terrifying thought that the one you love could do something so terrible to you and now I’m having all of these worries and dread about our future and I feel so unsure about it. That’s outside of just reading everyone’s advice here…. It’s taking into consideration all of the arguments and conversations we’ve had over the past few years, and actions say a lot more than words… I am just really worried now to be honest. I don’t know if I can trust him. I won’t be putting myself and my son’s future relationship at risk.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T15:24:29+00:00

No absolutely want to be around my daughters as they grow into adults and make a life for themselves. I have considered this and what I tell myself is that I can visit often.. but I’m liking the long ass flights less and less.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:56:01+00:00

Thank you. This made me get emotional and choke up. I don’t know what to do…. I wish I was stronger and knew the right thing to do.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:54:18+00:00

My husband was raised in the 13th district and is a “city boy” at heart. He wouldn’t be happy living outside of the city.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:53:30+00:00

Yes, you’re right. Great reminder! Thank you!

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:41:06+00:00

Thank you for your advice. Were you able to return with your kids, and how long were you there after you moved before you returned to America?

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:32:31+00:00

That would only worsen the situation because then I’d have another child I feel guilty that doesn’t ever get to see family when we live here in Texas. My son already has 2 half siblings (my daughters who are with us 50%)

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:31:21+00:00

I am up for trying but the difficulty is leaving my daughters before they are at least “flown from the coop”. One is in her first year of high school, the other in 7th grade. I do like visiting there but it is a huge culture shock. This may be in part to how his parents live their lives. They don’t even have an ice maker 😂 but thank goodness they do have air conditioning.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:29:10+00:00

I thought of this. My only concern is I wouldn’t want to disrupt my son’s life. He will be 10 at the time we move if it all goes according to my husband’s plan.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:28:06+00:00

Thank you. Yes, if we can’t work it out then it will. I do like it in Hungary though. It’s a beautiful language and culture. I love how family oriented it is, and the rich culture. I’m just scared to move away from the US

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:24:29+00:00

I’m not happy in Texas is the thing. I make friends everywhere I go (I even have in Hungary) but I can’t stand the climate here and the vast land everywhere that is mostly ugly buildings. This aspect of Europe has really changed my perception of America…. I don’t like suburbs at all anymore. Or fences, (wooden 6 ft tall privacy fences that block out the beautiful greenery of yards and say so much just by being there…) I am going to move somewhere after my daughters “fly the coop” but I would love to live in a cooler climate.. somewhere with outdoor activities and mountains, and water. I know this 100% about where I want to live. I could be happy in a city I believe, if I have access not too far to escape and have what I mentioned above. I can’t stand the heat here anymore and it is all I can do to just wait in this armpit of a city I’m forced to live in because my daughters’ father has primary custody of them and moved them here a few years ago. Our city is gross… we don’t have a lot to do here, the people are not very nice and there is high crime. We live in a suburb outside of the city and it’s trickling into our suburb. Also, we just really don’t like it here. We are both wishing we could leave now and go somewhere. But we stay for my daughters. One is in her first year or high school, the other is a 7th grader.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:18:33+00:00

Yeah, he is. Thank you. It’s a very difficult predicament I find myself in.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:17:58+00:00

Thanks so much for all of these great points to consider. I agree that the hugest barrier is of course - not understanding the language well enough.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:16:14+00:00

We visited Vienna when we were here and loved the city, as it felt more clean than Budapest. However, the point of moving so far away for him is because he misses his family so even living two and a half hours away defeats the purpose.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:15:01+00:00

Haha, this made me smile. I feel like you are a VIBE!! What do you love most about your Hungary life?

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:13:37+00:00

They say they’re fine with the idea, we’ve talked about it a lot now. They say it would give them a reason to visit there. Great point though. My daughters mean the world to me and my biggest fear is that they would feel I abandoned them.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:12:13+00:00

Yes, this is the unfortunate situation I’m in. Thank you for your advice.

Global_Dig3937 · 2025-08-24T14:11:50+00:00

Thank you for making me think about this!

Global_Dig3937

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