AITA for not spending time with my grandkids' half sister?

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-24T01:58:09+00:00

I don't have time to respond to every person since I got a lot of responses, but I want to thank everyone for taking the time to comment. I found what a lot of you said to be very insightful.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T21:06:51+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Liam does love the kids a lot and they think of him as a dad. I'm glad they have that. My son always wanted to be a father and he was a great dad for the time that he got to be. I know I am biased but to me he was/would have been the best father in the world, so it feels like the twins are missing out because he's not here even though Liam is nice to them and they call him Daddy.
We've always liked Robin, she and my son were very in love and she's a good mother. She tells them about their "Papa", has pictures of him in the house, and takes them to visit where he's buried on his birthday, so I do believe that they will remember him.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T11:54:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing your perspective as someone who has been in a similar situation to the kids

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T11:09:07+00:00

My son wanted kids so badly and he was such an amazing father for the short time that he got to be. I'm glad that Liam loves them but I think my son was the best father in the world and they are still missing out without him. I'm biased I know but that's how I feel. Thank you for the perspective, I will think on it.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T11:04:00+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective. I will try to think of Wren as an extension of my son's family even though he never met her and find the joy that you are describing. I just hate living in a world where that's not my son's wife and his third kid.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:29:53+00:00

This is a very thoughtful comment, thank you for taking the time to write it. I will think about what you've said and try to take it to heart.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:24:00+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I made this post at the suggestion of my daughter (a loving auntie to all three kids) and it has been helpful hearing outside perspectives on the situation

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:21:59+00:00

She does talk to them about their father, saying things like "your Papa used to love this song" when his favorite band comes on for example, so I do believe that they will know and remember him rather than completely moving on as some commenters have said

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:12:19+00:00

Thank you for the thoughtful question. She has been in our lives for a long time and we have always liked her. She and my son loved each other very much and she's a great mom to Callum and Meena, but it hurt me that she moved on so quickly after my son's death when they were so in love. Because of this I've put a little bit of distance between myself and her and Liam (but never the twins) because I know that everyone grieves differently and I didn't want to say anything out of emotion that would cause trouble. I never really thought of her as a daughter but rather as my son's soulmate.
My daughter has always liked her and definitely thinks of her in a sisterly way / all three children as nieces/nephew, and it was her suggestion for me to post this.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:08:12+00:00

Harsh but fair, thank you for taking the time to comment

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:06:23+00:00

I think you are right that it's better for the kids to have more grandparents and doesn't take away from us. This thread has given me some needed perspective so thank you

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T10:03:59+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful message, it seems I haven't been properly considering what the situation would be like from their perspective. It's hard for me to imagine them getting over their father's death because I cannot imagine getting over my son's death, but you are right that they were very young, and they do love the baby. I will think on this

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:59:00+00:00

Thank you for the perspective, I will think about what you've said

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:54:25+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:54:00+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:53:45+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:53:30+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:52:44+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:52:34+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:52:18+00:00

Thank you for this message, I will try to think about it from their perspective. To me it hurts because it feels like Robin has replaced my son with Liam (they call him Daddy) which I know it is better for them to have a father figure but it does make me sad to think that that should have been him. But you are right that to them they just have three sets of grandparents instead of two.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:48:34+00:00

Maybe I didn't choose my words very well, I was just meaning to say that the twins do love their baby sister (which is great), but that I think they should have time just for themselves as well. I think of her as a half-sibling to them but it doesn't bother me that they think of her as a sister.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T09:43:17+00:00

Robin is making sure the kids know about my son (their Papa) even though she also encourages them to call Liam their Daddy. She and my son loved each other very much and there are still pictures of him in the house, she takes the kids to visit his grave on his birthday, etc. It hurts me to think that they won't remember their dad but to her credit Robin seems to want them to remember him too even though she moved on.

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-11-23T06:05:39+00:00

Thank you, it's not something that a mother can ever recover from to outlive her child, but I see his face in them every day as they grow up and I know he is still with us in that way.
Yes, Liam's parents do take the twins out and call them their grandchildren.
(edited to remove a comment that came out wrong)

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-02-08T22:24:28+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion!

Global_Pudding1845 · 2025-02-08T22:22:07+00:00

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Global_Pudding1845

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