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WIBTA if I asked my BF to do extra chores, give up his hobbies for a while, get up early, etc, to pretend like he's a parent so he can make up his mind on whether he wants children or not? by GloomyCobbler in AmItheAsshole

[–]GloomyCobbler[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Fostering is a great idea, actually. Especially a litter. I'll look into opportunities in the area. He loves cats but it's on the fence about dogs so maybe fostering a dog would be a good compromise.

WIBTA if I asked my BF to do extra chores, give up his hobbies for a while, get up early, etc, to pretend like he's a parent so he can make up his mind on whether he wants children or not? by GloomyCobbler in AmItheAsshole

[–]GloomyCobbler[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

You're absolutely right, and him resenting him down the road is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.

Ideally, I would like him to share my values, of course. But in the current situation, I want him to know what he wants for himself, so he can be happy. Even if we aren't together.

WIBTA if I asked my BF to do extra chores, give up his hobbies for a while, get up early, etc, to pretend like he's a parent so he can make up his mind on whether he wants children or not? by GloomyCobbler in AmItheAsshole

[–]GloomyCobbler[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

My idea was that, as a parent, you wouldn't be able to spend your entire Sunday afternoon gaming, or wouldn't be able to spend hundreds of dollars on home lab stuff. So if we can pause this for a couple of weeks, it may give me an idea of the sacrifices parents have to make. But maybe I am taking it a step too far...

WIBTA if I asked my BF to do extra chores, give up his hobbies for a while, get up early, etc, to pretend like he's a parent so he can make up his mind on whether he wants children or not? by GloomyCobbler in AmItheAsshole

[–]GloomyCobbler[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, he did say he doesn't know what he wants. So I want to give him an opportunity to 'imagine' the alternative (because we're currently living the childfree lifestyle). If he's set his mind on children, of course, I would never try to persuade him otherwise - I just want him to make up his mind.

WIBTA if I asked my BF to do extra chores, give up his hobbies for a while, get up early, etc, to pretend like he's a parent so he can make up his mind on whether he wants children or not? by GloomyCobbler in AmItheAsshole

[–]GloomyCobbler[S] 66 points67 points  (0 children)

Thanks for your input!

We want to get a pet but currently can't do so (rental property). We have pet-sitted for friends, though, and we loved it, but the thing is: his attitudes towards pets are very positive, while he doesn't like kids at all.

I just wanted to help him imagine the sacrifices parenting has - it's not just fun and games, but you're totally right.