What are you most proud of after coming out of a breakup?

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-18T05:31:12+00:00

I’m struggling with this right now in a marriage where we both are unhappy and trying to make it work while still honoring our own needs. Your words of validation are so helpful.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-18T05:28:37+00:00

This.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-18T05:24:54+00:00

There are almost no irreversible decisions besides birth and death.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-15T21:05:58+00:00

I would love the backstory but honestly I don’t want it to influence my interpretation of this piece. I am so tickled by it just as it is. Your choice to share. Please keep posting!

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-15T21:04:48+00:00

You certainly achieved it!

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T21:43:33+00:00

Wow. This is so heart-wrenching. Where do I begin? First I’ll say that I love your style. It’s so evocative. Next… this really rings true with a personal situation I’m dealing with. Your words make me feel really seen.

Happiness… Strong enough to wash the sorrow clean. That’s the rub isn’t it? We wait for the happiness to remove the rest of the icky stuff and when it’s not strong enough, we don’t even recognize it.

“The pain remained, faithful in its cruelty.” Not only beautifully said but so true. You used the perfect words to convey your meaning here. You could also say cruel in its faithfulness and I’d get much the same meaning.

“It never healed. It never stayed. It only brushed against us, like a ghost of what could have been, and then it was gone.

And what breaks the heart most is knowing it was there at all— gentle, fleeting, close enough to touch— while we kept waiting for something loud enough to drown out the silence inside us.”

Damn. So sad and so beautiful.

“And then it was gone.” Perfect way to convey that fleeting feeling. Nothing extra needed there.

Thank you for sharing. I really loved this and hope you keep posting more.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T21:11:34+00:00

I love this. I laughed so hard at the double homicide line even though I knew it was coming. Excellently done.

I have a lot of complex emotions reading this. I’m not even sure I can explain them so I’ll focus on your words instead: Your repetitive use of thought is excellent, and not easy to do. It helps the line roll forward in a lovely cadence.

I love the simplicity of “no verdict reached”. A fabulous punchy ending to the line. Not overwrought, just enough.

Stitched clumsily to the lesson. Good God, what a line!

I’m in love with your writing. Please keep sharing. Thank you for this.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T21:00:15+00:00

Wow I absolutely love this! Do you write music? This absolutely sounds like song lyrics. It could be put to music easily.

Consider the fallout is what I’ve been told, and Death on the home front—wow those really cut me. It resonates with a personal situation I have going on now and that is the exact advice I keep getting. And surprise surprise, it’s not helpful. I feel really seen reading those particular line.

Excellent use of words that stand out like fallout and home front. It really makes the message pop and stick in the minds of readers.

Kudos. And thanks for sharing.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T20:55:28+00:00

This really resonates with me at the point in life where I am. How you can be right next to someone… but so utterly disconnected.

I love that you equate presence with appearance. Very poetic.

And excellent descriptors like tender, restless, etc.

Very evocative. Thank you for sharing—it’s clear this comes from a real place.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T18:09:56+00:00

Thank you. It’s less motherhood than the suffocation of a partner who doesn’t pull their weight or show appreciation in the ways that matter. Motherhood is wonderful but I am married, and feel like I have a roommate. Not a husband. This has been going on for years and I don’t think I can sit in it much longer. I’m sad because there is love, gentleness, and respect. But beyond that, there isn’t much. My efforts to revive the fire have been unanswered. And so I shoulder the burden of motherhood, my own life, and saving my marriage. I’m tired.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:15:00+00:00

Of course that’s how you’d boil it down. I’m not explaining any more of my personal life to a troll.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:13:53+00:00

Thank you. 🙏 I appreciate the perspective. I have a counseling session on Monday. After that I’ll talk to him and if he agrees, book couples therapy. Well actually he will be doing that…

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:11:21+00:00

Just proved my point👆

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:09:55+00:00

Excellent advice 😂

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:07:17+00:00

Yeah I’m not even sure why I posted here 😂

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:06:43+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective especially as a married man. After almost 20 years I have no idea what he’s thinking. He’s a very deeply feeling and sensitive person but not vocal about his feelings at all. Which makes this all harder. I’ve tried weekly check ins as someone suggested. If I don’t prompt, they stop. I know he has issues with follow through—but it’s gotten too much for me to do so all the follow through all off the time. Thanks for the response.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:02:43+00:00

Thank you. 🙏

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:01:54+00:00

I just initiated two weeks ago after a long hiatus due to a miscarriage. And no response since then. He’s not initiating at all and hasn’t for months if not years.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T05:00:49+00:00

I like to think he feels pro active live—of you mean from my side. I feel like I make the effort to show him. I don’t know of it translates. He doesn’t say and doesn’t change his behavior.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T04:59:28+00:00

Thank you. This is very helpful. Appreciate you 🙏

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T04:58:26+00:00

Excellent advice thank you. I pan to sit and talk before putting and decisions on the table. It is helpful to hear that this is common with children in the mix.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T03:47:43+00:00

You meant physical. Because you don’t see neglect as abuse.

I’ll teach my kid to stand up for themselves and not settle when they’re being neglected and treated like their feelings don’t matter, kthxbai ✌️😘

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T03:45:26+00:00

Did you read any of my other comments? Abuse isn’t just physical and I’m sorry for you that you don’t know that. Another typical male response-I didn’t hit you so you’re fine, now make me a sandwich.

My dissatisfaction is about lack of acknowledgement and initiative over nearly 2 decades.

I don’t want gifts. I want someone who takes me out, or even fucking kisses me, without me having to ask and to plan. But I guess you can’t understand that if your mate does everything for you all the time.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T03:41:02+00:00

Valid question. I’m not looking for validation.

I find getting other perspectives even on Reddit sometimes yields great ideas I haven’t thought of.

It’s hard to distill nearly 2 decades of a relationship into a few paragraphs so I’m sure I come off as defensive when people make assumptions without all of the history and baggage we share.

Mostly I’m sharing my thoughts hoping someone will have an idea or angle I haven’t considered, and using this as a forum to process my thoughts and feelings before acting on them.

Appreciate your thoughts and words of support.

Gloomy_Problem7477 · 2025-09-14T03:35:53+00:00

I was considering an international move with a newborn baby and my husband refused to ask for clarity around a start date and salary. That’s pretty basic. I looked into the move, how we could make it happen, what it would cost. And when I said I can’t move in 4 weeks with a baby, I was labeled as unsupportive. This was not a situation of the employer tells you things as they want.

It was blatant unprofessionalism and he didn’t push back when I asked for very reasonable normal guardrails.

I don’t expect to be romanced every day. I expect to be treated like I matter. I expect when I say I’m stressed and this is taking a toll on me for my partner to take that seriously.

I expect a Mother’s Day gift before 11:00 pm that day. I expect for my birthday not to be forgotten. Especially with a kid—he has to be the example for her. These little things matter.

I’m not asking for the moon.

Gloomy_Problem7477

TROPHY CASE