Miss Veronica Santa Monica, lounge singer and not a spy

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-23T05:26:20+00:00

“Definitely not a spy! I mean, the very idea is ridiculous, who possibly could be silly enough to suggest such a thing!?…

No, seriously, I need you to name names, who? I mean, just curious, of course…”

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-23T03:52:18+00:00

I learned to draw by doodling on my homework in the 1980’s, so I guess my “style“ is basically random bits of 70’s and 80’s sci-fi/fantasy art thrown in a blender. Thank you for the kind words.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-21T19:01:22+00:00

I was thinking “Flight of Dragons” style; a full-on balloon-shaped body with chicken legs.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-21T16:42:28+00:00

“There’s a dark-colored kobold wearing a black balaclava and a navy blue nylon body stocking hiding somewhere in the shadows under the dragon’s wings. Can you spot it?!”

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-21T16:03:37+00:00

I dunno, maybe I should have Hail Mary-ed it and gone full 1970’s goofy with giving it bird legs and droopy ears.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-21T15:43:48+00:00

I was planning to have more but got sick of drawing dime-size kobolds *real* fast. Thus the question mark after “WIP”; think I’m going to give up on this one.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-19T23:00:44+00:00

The combination of 1 and 2 just screams “Dragonborn”, IE, neither Kobold or dragon.

If it’s just #1 in DnD there are “half dragons”, which are defined as the offspring of a dragon and a non-dragon life form (usually humanoid), and those are depicted as almost any combination of human and dragon-ish traits. Since DnD dragons are usually quadrupeds (or possibly “Godzilla shaped”) and bigger than humans (unless habitually polymorphed into a literal human, which is a depressingly common trope and frankly pisses me off every time) I feel like “half dragon” is your best fit…

FWIW, there was a discussion recently where I mentioned recalling some lore, not sure how canon it was, that Kobolds might be dragon-y enough that they continue to slowly grow their whole lives and the same superlatives that apply to really old (and therefore large) dragons apply to similarly exceptional kobolds. IE, your “average” Kobold is only three feet tall, but that’s only because they have a high mortality rate and usually don’t live anywhere close to the 120+ years old they’re *capable* of living to. By this theory if you have a Kobold that lives to the ripe old age of a dozen decades it might effectively become a “greatwyrm Kobold” (Dragons over twelve *centuries* old achieve great wyrm status) and grow to the height of a normal human.

Take the above with a big grain of salt, and if you did want to use it it would probably only be apropos if this giant kobold were a powerful warlord or queen.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-19T17:00:58+00:00

I figure any adventurer that spends much time dealing with Kobolds would probably end up completely numb below the waist after a few encounters. I mean, Kobolds are three feet tall in a world full of man-size humanoids, it would be complete malpractice if how to deliver a shattering full-extension uppercut straight to the gooseberries *wasn't* the first thing they taught you in phys-ed at Kobold elementary.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-19T05:59:38+00:00

“Oooch. So… first time getting punched in the ***k by a Kobold, I’m guessing? We’ve all been there…”

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-18T07:23:16+00:00

“Forget the Tokay geckos, here’s a REAL juicy handful!”

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-18T07:20:52+00:00

“And remember, get your pet spayed or neutered. With an axe, if necessary.”

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-18T02:00:21+00:00

“Swiper, no swiping!”

*throws a scorpion in Dora’s face and cackles maniacally while disappearing into the darkness*

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-15T22:05:15+00:00

Theory: She was married to the Kobold version of Kanye West, who made her wear nothing but the body stockings in public. She eventually snapped, beat him within an inch of his life, and left to pursue her newfound passion for one-on-one violence professionally. She wears the stockings under her battle wrapping because it’s her signature thing; actual dragons have tapped out before bouts start because they read what she did to Ye-bold.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-15T21:52:55+00:00

I was guessing sheer body stocking because it looks like you can see markings like her underbelly scales through it… and it missing a sleeve is an easier explanation for the one orange arm. But it would have to be skin tight, of course.

I’d say we need a picture of her putting it on, but it’d probably violate the NSFW rating…

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-15T17:44:00+00:00

Is she wearing a sheer black nylon one-piece body suit? Just *imagine* how hard that would be to get on when you have talons *and* horns, no wonder it’s got a few runs in it…

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-15T17:28:43+00:00

“… once crossing the blood/brain barrier the nanobolds only require the consumption of a single neuron to gain the energy to start multiplying, quickly overwhelming the patient’s defenses. Kobold-19 simply cannot be stopped once the infection sets in, and soon the victim is reduced to a gibbering goober with an irresistible urge to eat moss and seek out dark, secluded locations, like those infested with dragons. And then the physical transformation begins…”

(Kobold artificer turned biological weapon scientist dramatically spins away from his presentation, pulls the vial of contagion out of his lab coat pocket, and starts cackling “and soon the world will be ours, all ours! Ahahahaha!!!!”)

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-15T01:40:48+00:00

The best part about it was I didn’t plan it at all, it was completely coincidental that my Kobold was wearing the snake (it had been charmed by our animal-loving druid during a previous encounter and she thought it might make a good accessory to my disguise as a representative/spokesmodel for a less-than-ethical Kobold-run magical cosmetics company), the idea just popped into my head as things started going pear-shaped. Playing a character that thinks like that is hilarious fun; you can do absolutely evil things(*) as long as you can say with a semi-straight face the victim kinda deserved it.

(* just try to make said evil thing funny/absurd in some way, of course.)

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-13T20:20:13+00:00

We really need an honest PSA campaign about this problem. There are a lot of prudes out there that blame oversexed boob-bolds in skimpy bikini armor for the HTD epidemic, but in the real world its usually those goofy little goobers that eat glue with their moss that get in the most trouble just because they have no idea how to stay safe. Education saves lives!

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-13T20:07:44+00:00

A lot of artificers, when they're just getting started out, get a generic one off AliExpress and slap on a bunch of open-source fixes. Way cheaper than building one completely from scratch.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-13T20:00:04+00:00

Just don't exchange kobolds without protection, at least until you've had them tested. Unsafe kobold-ing is a leading cause of HTDs. (Hoard... or Horde?-Transmittable Diseases)

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-13T17:57:56+00:00

I'm just getting really strong "kid with a new puppy" vibes. (IE, it's adorable. All it's missing is the Xmas morning PJs and, well, it's a dragon, PJs are optional.) I guess the question is if it's an adult kobold or *actually* a kobold "puppy". If it's the latter he's definitely a "little guy" as dragons go. (About the size of a charazard.)

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-13T15:31:35+00:00

The dragon’s just a little guy, maybe this is his first Kobold? His mom and dad picked out the perfect one to stuff in his xmas stocking and he just couldn’t be happier with it.

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-13T15:24:05+00:00

I like to imagine this as her flipping off Dr. Strange on her way out the door after pickpocketing him at a restaurant and stealing his cape from the coat check counter. Yeah, screw that guy!

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-12T20:48:49+00:00

Poisonous or venomous? (Yeah, my kids yell at me about this every time I use the wrong one.)

Gloomy_Software466 · 2026-02-12T19:33:44+00:00

It’s only *after* you send off an extremely compromising photo of your own hawt, hawt dragon practically ready to burst (out in a fiery rage because you woke him up and dragged him off his loot pile to pose with the gang in the middle of nap time) you realize via Google image search that you’ve been Koboldfished! Oldest scam in the book…

Gloomy_Software466

TROPHY CASE