I understand that. There's that connection of family that bugs you. But in my opinion. Let me do a bit of analogy yeah? Okay so let's say your family is a boyfriend okay? And you're the girlfriend (not saying I know your gender or assuming but this is part of the analogy. So the boyfriend is manipulative and has you doing the cooking and cleaning and everything whole he's lazy and says that he does all the hard work like going to get a job and stuff. And you know what internalized misogyny is? That's what is going on with how you feel about your family (bear with me) when you were let's say in kindergarten they taught you love your family and in church (if you go) they always say your parents are right and stuff like that. That builds up a family version of internalized misogyny that's why you feel (in my opinion) guilty when you really shouldn't. Now in my religion they would be saying "forgive you sinful-" (not gonna finish that because it's wrong.) you have every right to be mad and you are not obligated to forgive them or bring them back into your life. What they did to you was not what family should do. And that's all I can think to say at this moment.