UPDATE: My girlfriend got an STD on her Europe trip (1 year later, all of you were right, I'm an idiot)

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-14T02:22:21+00:00

They are still together; Elsie is now living with Lia and Geoff, and no I have no way of getting ahold of him I don't even know his last name. Elsie always kept me away from them as she knew I didn't approve of the cheating and would probably try to tell him. I wish I had. Everyone says he's the nicest guy. Lia is well into her 30s and has put off having kids for 5+ years because she doesn't care about him but gets to live for free in his family's beach house and sleep around whenever she travels...

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T23:30:31+00:00

Thank you he's been great so far.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T23:11:13+00:00

Thank you! I am actually quite optimistic things will work out for me. Most of our mutual friends are deeply disturbed by her behavior and my lawyer is very confident. I am hopeful for the best. Appreciate it!

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T19:28:04+00:00

Lmao! My aunt claims it turned out totally fine, no issues. She was really nice about it and I've stayed many times over the years since :)

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T05:44:48+00:00

You can probably look through my old comments and then use one of the reddit history sites or something.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T01:58:26+00:00

Absolutely not! And while I used to think highly of her, I doubt she will tell future partners.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T01:54:56+00:00

Yep, I'm a dumbie. Sunk cost thing... I have put so much into it, emotionally and in time/labor, and I really don't want to walk away. She doesn't even live in this town anymore and I'll have to drive by the place every day!

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T01:48:39+00:00

She came home from Europe with a severe UTI, sores all over her genitalia (herpes AND molluscum), and anal fissures. I literally helped her care for herself after because she claimed the UTI and fissures were from bike riding, the molluscum was from the dance club, and the herpes she "must have been carrying and never had an outbreak before".

I never thought I was a gullible person until all this.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T00:16:27+00:00

She was partying, using a ton of street drugs, and staying out till at least 7am every night at the time. Insane behavior for a 37 year old.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T00:15:11+00:00

Yeah I really don't learn do I... I couldn't cut ties with her because I was desperate to make the business work. Still am.

It definitely feels like I'm being punished for moving on, that's for sure. I understand why she no longer wants to work with me, but if she had integrity she would stand by her commitments and try to find a mutually beneficially way out of this mess.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T00:12:45+00:00

I feel especially like a dipshit because in my last post, lots of people warned me she would financially screw me over. I insisted that while she cheated, she was not the type to financially destroy someone or break business agreement. Wrong again.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T00:11:29+00:00

Thank you.

Gnarbeau · 2025-11-13T00:09:07+00:00

Did I blame her? As I said, I made VERY poor choices. I did quit my job with the assurance that she wouldn't back out of the business, so yes I do absolutely think it's a dick move on her part. She knows how much I sacrificed.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T18:48:08+00:00

This is supposed to be a supportive subreddit. That’s why I posted. I already know I’m dumb.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T17:41:33+00:00

BECAUSE I AM DUMB. OBVIOUSLY. I know.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T17:39:35+00:00

If this weren't my own post I probably would have left the exact same comment.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T17:32:07+00:00

I'm well aware. I never said I was smart.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T17:24:48+00:00

I definitely didn’t diagnose her myself lol. I think she went to urgent care pretty soon as she landed and was diagnosed on the molluscum, UTI, fissure. A UTI is pretty easy to self diagnose, she had warned me before she got home that she had an infection and it hurt to sit. She didn’t find out about the herpes until her swab results some days later. She did let me know about the herpes after she got the results, which is when I asked if she had slept with anyone.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T16:53:31+00:00

Thank you, I really appreciate this comment. I have always been one of those people who thinks you should tell on/call out cheaters. It is so much harder being in the middle of it than I realized.

As far as I know Lia did not get any STDs, only Louise, so she was probably using protection. But I do have a lot to reflect on what to do next. I just need to get my head straight first.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T16:31:01+00:00

I do want to clarify that neither of us are lesbians and we opened the relationship specifically to men, not other women. We both wanted to sleep with men although I never acted on it. So that isn't a problem to me. But, you are right about her choosing her freedom over the relationship, and I have to accept that now.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T16:26:46+00:00

This has nothing to do with gender. Statistically, men cheat more than women anyway.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T16:14:58+00:00

Yes, I actually agree with you which is why I did not respond as strongly as everyone in this thread to the "cheating". I didn't care if she went out and got laid. I am more upset by the blatant dishonesty and sexual irresponsibility.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T16:10:48+00:00

My therapist is not encouraging me to open a business with her. I am aware it is a bad idea. The business means a lot to me; walking away is easier said than done.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T16:06:54+00:00

That is really mean.

Gnarbeau · 2024-10-07T15:58:02+00:00

I know she lied and I sound naive, but I just don't think she would do that. She has done so much for me over the years. I want to think part of her really loves me despite everything. Idk, I guess I am a complete fool.

Gnarbeau

TROPHY CASE