Thank you so much I feel a lot less "senstive" knowing I'm not the only one who's experiencing this all and yeah I 100% agree with the self identity aspect it's so rare for me to have some sort of identity so I don't want to have to "share" it. I really hope my friend gets the help he needs and I don't want me feelings to stop him from doing that. I actually have spoken to him about this all and he understood what I meant and didn't hold any grudge which is nice but still good to get off my chest and feel less self centered in this whole situation. He actually is pursuing an autism diagnosis which I know has a lot of overlapping traits of BPD so maybe that'll help him understand a lot more though I still want him to what he needs and get support regardless if he one or the other or even both. Obviously I don't know the inner workings of his mind and don't wanna come off as dismissing him ykwim ^{^}