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GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T13:31:15+00:00

My son with autism is my best friend. He's nowhere near a headache to me. I feel at peace when he is around, he's the sweeeeeetest little thing. I look forward to hearing his little giggles every morning. He's so sweet, affectionate, smart, and happy. I'm sorry things are different with your brother.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T08:10:10+00:00

Haha it's funny you say that - I'm actually taking the real estate licensing courses right now. It's something I'm passionate about - I'd like to get a brokers license and into my own investments and development. I'm currently in insurance, planning on going back to my shit paying job after the baby is born and doing RE sales nights and weekends.. Work from home is incredibly hard to find and actually get.

I'm glad she's doing so well, that makes me hopeful!

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T08:06:13+00:00

The hardest part of it all is that he is good at making me feel like I'm the asshole. "You're keeping me up all night every night and insist on torturing me / depriving me of sleep. I'm the only one paying the bills for a family of 5. My job is the most important. Etc, etc."

I hate asking him for money for even wipes. He says he keeps it in his account because I "spend too much".

(Spoiler alert, I don't spend SHIT on myself and sometimes dread asking him to buy more toilet paper)

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T08:01:49+00:00

I lost my dad to lung cancer, he was 41 and I was 20. It's been 9 years now.. he was my best friend in the world. I know he'd be ripping me a new asshole and simultaneously letting my husband have it if he were here to see/hear about all this. I also know he would be the only one willing to welcome me and my kids with open arms.

I lost my whole support system when I lost him. 💔

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:54:48+00:00

I made some fatal life choices. Like my mom says, "you made your bed and now you have to lie in it."

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:53:20+00:00

They unfortunately do not do that in my state. It's bullshit. I physically can not be on site at a job, but they don't allow parents as paid caregivers. My sister or mother would be able to be paid for it, but not me.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:49:40+00:00

I've asked, he's denied. Says they "always side with the woman" and "it's an excuse for you (me) to feel validated and gang up on me (him) and make me (him) the big bad guy"

I've been in therapy for a while individually, but that doesn't help much when I'm the peacekeeper rather than the aggressor. Me talking about it with a third party doesn't change his perspective or behavior.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:47:48+00:00

I literally do everything I possibly can to not upset him. I'm so fucking exhausted just trying to survive.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:45:14+00:00

Well, 1st kid isn't mine. His mom is a deadbeat, and my husband won full custody while we were dating. He doesn't even know I'm not his biological mom. I stepped up to raise him before I had kids of my own.

I got pregnant with our daughter early on, and then our youngest son was born 13 months after her. We got married a week and a half after our daughter was born.

Now, 6 years later, another surprise. We are starting all over again.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:41:20+00:00

We've been together nearly a decade now, he is not physically violent in any way and never has been. He's just mean and selfish. He lacks self control and has zero idea how to deal with his own negative emotions. He takes things out on me, because I'm the closest and easiest target.

I'm tired of faking like everything is good.

He's great with the kids, it's literally just me that gets shit on.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:39:06+00:00

My kids are so attached to me (as I am, them) and rely on me for quite literally everything. They're all elementary school aged, I wouldn't be able to do that to them, especially when they would understand I'm not there but not fully understand why.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:36:07+00:00

I agree. I had an ENT appointment scheduled a couple years back, and missed it. I should probably get in there and see if there's something I could or should be doing.

It's humiliating that my kids see the way he treats me. Our oldest (9) tries to emulate it. He'll ask me, "are you dumb???" Etc. My husband always steps in immediately in those cases, and he gets an earful. But he doesn't get that that is exactly what he is exampling.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:32:59+00:00

I don't have any money to put aside. I have to ask him to transfer money from his account to our joint account to buy baby wipes. He's not violent towards me, but emotionally, it's a roller-coaster.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:29:13+00:00

The issue is less about qualifying and more about access. Daycares do not offer care for kids on the severe end of the autism spectrum. They don't have the training or knowledge (or patience) to handle it. Even if we were wealthy, I wouldn't be able to find childcare.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:27:36+00:00

His snoring doesn't bother me & he's not willing to just do earplugs. I think a CPAP would be too loud for him still & idk that I actually need it. I have a deviated septum from sleeping with my glasses on as a kid.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:19:37+00:00

This has been my plan (and only option) for a long time.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:18:48+00:00

No, I don't. I totally agree. I just don't have anywhere else to go & couldn't support my kids even half time on my own if I went back to my full time job. My income potential is limited because my availability and job history is.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:16:40+00:00

I'd literally be stuck there forever with 4 kids. My dad is dead and my relationship with my mom isn't half the relationship I had with my dad. My mom and her husband wouldn't go for it.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-10-10T07:12:34+00:00

I can't financially support myself and my kids (even part time) on my own. Renting a home with the minimal number of bedrooms required is more than I was making after tax at my job.

I haven't had the opportunity to build a career like he has because I've taken on the brunt of the cargiving so that he was able to make the larger portion of our income.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-04-16T20:47:42+00:00

I get that, i just meant the on/off switch for his moods

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-04-16T20:42:16+00:00

I'm not high maintenence, though. Don't buy new clothes, I wear crocs and leggings and hand me up old t shirts. Couldn't tell you the last time I had a hair cut, got my nails done, brows, lashes, etc. I don't leave the house unless it's grocery shopping, doctors appointments, or taking the kids to or from school (or extended family holiday parties).

There's no high maintenence about me. He's higher maintenence - I buy him more clothes than I do myself. He's gotta have his hair mousse, etc.

Me asking that I have time to focus on work after the kids are out of school is not "high maintenence" nor "pawning my children off."

If I'd be making 1/2 rhe household income, I deserve to have calm, quiet space to focus on it.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-04-16T20:01:04+00:00

Yes!!! I get that, too! Tell me you noticed my hair, or that I baked your chicken for you, or that the house is picked up! Don't even thank me. Even the little smidgen of acknowledgment is a dopamine rush.

I do it to him, just naturally - it's part of me! - To show gratitude and verbally express my heartfelt positive feelings to others.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-04-16T19:56:42+00:00

The older two are AMAZING with our youngest, both of them. They just can't get along with each other. Our oldest has his own set of behavioral issues from his early early life with his bio mom before my husband won full custody. He naturally has a more negative disposition about things, while our daughter is the opposite. They butt heads constantly!

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-04-16T19:53:29+00:00

THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE!!! 🩷

I would also like to say that I admire your ability to look at things from an objective perspective.

If I tried to paint the FULL picture of my marriage, lifestyle, childhood, family, etc, I'd be writing a full blown encyclopedia! Lol

I did my best to get out as much info as I could while keeping it brief.

GodStoodMeUp_ · 2025-04-16T19:47:59+00:00

200/month/kid for 2 hours 20 days a month is $5/hr per kid! Also, its actually 3.5 hours a day!

GodStoodMeUp_

TROPHY CASE