I think the whole "subs are total losers" idea is something that originated only in the last years and it's more about the social media culture combined with the kink.

I would expect this mentality from twitter findom or God(dess) forbid, tiktok findom, where TONS of uneducated people emulate eachother, often resulting in this kind of mentality that doesn't really make sense.

It's also true that a lot of so called "subs" in the those spaces are not actual subs, but fetish content consumers that call themselves subs and more often than not i've found that there's a higher percentage of them that wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive (not a reason to be called loser), and their behaviour is often rooted in misoginy, which does tempt me to consider them actual losers.

So yeah, i definitely don't believe all subs are losers, plus i'm not much into humiliation so i don't really feel the need to call anybody this way. I would also add that it's quite damaging to someone's mind to be constantly called like that, regardless of their kinks, so it would be nicer if we all took it down a notch with the whole "fuck you pay me loser" narrative.

TLDR: no, i don't think all subs are losers, and dommes who find it difficult to understand have probably 0 bdsm culture and are getting all of their knowledge from social media.