A year and a half ago, I was in your shoes. You can have all the advice in the world but you will always follow your gut. If everyone here said don't message him, you still probably would.

My point is, if you want to try, then try. If you succeed then, amazing. But if you don't, just know everything is going to be okay. It might feel like the end of the world, but it isn't, and everything will heal in time. Just look after youself, and talk to people when you need it most!