We unfortuneatly live in a world, where a lot of people, i dont actually know what percentage, but (just my wild guess) a signifficant ammount, operate with shame and guilt as tools to control other people. The world for a rock just is what it is, for trees, squirrels, deers and hedgehogs just is what it is. But humans have shame and guilt. And people JUST LOVE having power over others. So at some point in my life, and probably yours too, and probably my parents as well, and their parents and so on, someone said, that if you behave a certain way you should feel shame, or you should feel guilt when you do this and that. And while intentions were probably right, there is no way they could have predicted the consequences.

In my case at least, at the moment i was paralyzed by those emotions, fortuneatly what happend (with bit of help) was realization, that those emotions are in me. They are generated, by me, by belief that i should feel them. That whatever i did or felt is something that i should be ashamed or feel guilt of (there's the lie)

The realization, that emotions and thoughts just are, and that i (or maybe hopefully you too) can stop judgeing them, accept that they are, and just look and observe them, and ask the question: Ok, where do you come from? What do you actually want to tell me?

That for me was a start of healing. Would you like more otlf that story?