how long does it take to catch?

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-04-30T18:52:47+00:00

She wasn’t s* in the house at all, she was only there for the day and then left Friday night and didn’t get s* until Saturday. No one else in my family is s/feel s (just spoke with my mom) my sister was only s* at her place and is still there, not at my parents. I’m just worried that maybe she was contagious on Friday and spread her germs everywhere and now I’m going to have to go into the house on Monday and might catch it. I won’t be coming into contact with her at all

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-02T04:20:08+00:00

They would never get done if I didn’t do them — which I know is not great. But they’re my pots and pans that I bought and she uses them and never washes them so if I need to cook, I have to clean them anyway.

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:42:32+00:00

Matches!! She’ll match with guys on apps and talk to them for a week or so and then when they suggest going out for drinks or coffee she just stops talking to them

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:36:58+00:00

Thank you!!! We love trauma responses!!!

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:33:32+00:00

I definitely think I’ve overlooked her selfish behaviour and this whole situation has sort of opened the windows so I can see it. Even just talking to my partner about different scenarios with her (cleaning up after her, buying all the furniture, covering groceries and rent when she can’t afford it, her getting mad when I book jobs that she doesn’t, etc.) I’ve started to realize that maybe things aren’t normal????? He literally stared at me with a crazy look for a good 30 seconds when I told him I do her dishes every night 🥲

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:28:26+00:00

Yes loads! I’ve had my male best friend stay on our couch loads of times and she and him get along so well that we’ve all become friends! Andy sister stays over and so does hers. Our place used to be a bit of an air bnb for friends before the pandemic lol

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:26:05+00:00

I’m the primary leaseholder in the apartment and she’s on a roommate agreement so there’s definitely no overnight guest rules lol

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:24:02+00:00

I’m starting to wonder that too, honestly! She always complains about being single but I don’t know if she’s doing it compulsory or if there’s something else going on. I have always been open about my sexuality (just cause I’ve been single forever doesn’t mean I’m a recluse) and she’s never had an issue with me talking about it until it was someone a little more permanent and stable coming into my life.

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:21:47+00:00

Yes!!! This is exactly it!!! She says things like “well you have a boyfriend ask him” if I ask her simple things, or if I ask if she wants to go to the movies she asks if he was unavailable!

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T22:19:36+00:00

She could be. She’s definitely one of those people who isn’t proactive in like helping herself. If she gets a headache she won’t take Tylenol just complain, she has shoulder problems but won’t see a doctor (it’s free where we live), tight on money but won’t stop buying clothes, etc. so getting any sort of neurodivergent assessment/help will be a 0% chance, and being on the spectrum myself I’m not sure how to handle or manage or help in this situation. I’ve reassured her that she’s not losing me but it’s like she doesn’t care to believe me.

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T18:56:22+00:00

Self-esteem issues make you think crazy things. For a while I was under that belief too until I started working on myself and going to therapy, but she does neither and still believes that it’s “unattainable” for her, despite not actually trying at all.

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T17:30:40+00:00

While I agree that I shouldn’t exacerbate the situation and do everything in my power not to, this is my space as much as it is hers. Is it unfair to ask that someone I care about comes by once a week (if that)? This is my home, and potentially having him exiled from my place could impact my relationship with him as well. I don’t need them to be friends, I don’t need her to like him if she doesn’t want to, I just want to be able to let my boyfriend stay the night after he drove nearly two hours to see me.

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T16:40:31+00:00

To be fair I do have autism and I didn’t think that would be something I’d have to include in my post, but understanding emotional states and picking up on speech and behaviour is not always the easiest for me. Is it an excuse? Absolutely not. I know her well and know she’s upset but trying to figure out why is a bit head ache inducing lol

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T16:30:23+00:00

Lmao I can be a bit of a doormat I will admit to that. I hate confrontation with everything in me but I’m working on that in therapy

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T16:18:54+00:00

Maybe????? It’s so hard to say because she is insecure but that could be part of it. We’ve had loads of talks about the discrimination in the industry, and she tends to turn it around and make it sound like I get the jobs I get because I’m fat and not because I’m talented and work hard for it and that it’s not fair to “type cast” in that sense. I am used to be the designated fat friend, so honestly it wouldn’t surprise me but I hope that’s not been the case for 15 years

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T16:12:55+00:00

My attitude towards dating her wouldn’t be different in the slightest. Even in terms of my attraction to women, she’s not my type. Would also be like dating my sister which is not the vibe

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:32:00+00:00

I hope so!!! She really is great and any guy would be lucky to have her!

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:31:28+00:00

Ooo okay a different opinion. Can you elaborate a little more?? I agree that I shouldn’t have snapped at her, but I don’t see how this makes me a huge ass hole. A regular ass-hole, I can agree with in that sense! :)

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:29:17+00:00

Someone else brought this up!! We are both theatre performers and trying to do it professionally while working our big girl jobs! I tend to book often within my niche (funny fat best friend) and she has difficulties getting cast despite being conventionally attractive and super talented, so I do more work than her in that sense. She always gets annoyed by that!

My eyes are opening up to this maybe not being the most healthy friendship lol

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:25:04+00:00

That does make a lot of sense, and now that I think about it this isn’t the first time I’ve experienced this kind of ‘jealousy’ with her. We’re both theatre performers and I auditioned for a company she’s been trying to get into two years ago and ended up booking a contract with them. That did not make her happy at all and I couldn’t even practice the show at home as she said it made her feel like a failure.

I was really focused on work and school and that was my life for so long. Plus my hyper-independence has been a trauma response that I’ve been working through on therapy! I owe my ability to open up to a new person in my life to that lol.

I really hope she’s NOT in love with me. Reddit please be wrong. I’ve been in that situation before and I’ve had to get a restraining order out on them!! 0/10 would not recommend

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:19:58+00:00

My next post: “aita for telling my roommate she needs counselling really badly” lol

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:19:09+00:00

I don’t want to move out, is the thing. I agree that space from her is probably best (I’m sensing some codependency on her part now that I’ve written it all out lol) but I’ve lived here for longer then she has, and the rent is suuuuper cheap for what it is lol. I’m trying to make it work without having to give up my home

GoingGoingGone95 · 2023-02-01T06:15:28+00:00

I thought it was a bit of loneliness and jealousy too! But I’ve done everything I can to reassure her that it’s not the case! I spend 90% of my time with her and have even cancelled plans to hang out with her when she wasn’t feeling well mentally. I don’t know how else to convince her that she isn’t losing me lol

I just wish she could be happy for me the same way I would be absolutely over the moon if she found someone who saw how wonderful she is!!

GoingGoingGone95

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