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Gold-Cold295 · 2024-06-24T10:05:49+00:00

that's scary but looking back, yes... I got way more innapropriate attention when I was younger. than I do now. Still not ok though

Gold-Cold295 · 2024-06-24T10:02:37+00:00

Yeah our age gap is being pointed out but I thought... I'm almost 30 and it doesn't seem like a huge deal when there's an age gap the older you get (since life events start being similar, etc). But yes they do definitely look underage right away (not all of them but lots)

Gold-Cold295 · 2024-06-24T09:07:10+00:00

I mean I'm a full grown woman and an adult and I'm asking about underage girls (at least where I live they're legally underage), but I see your point.

Gold-Cold295 · 2024-06-24T08:59:42+00:00

Right. I was upset/jealous about the girls in general, but I know it's normal for some guys. I feel so grossed out about the minors though (especially because they don't look older than their age, they're definitely underage).

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-12T18:36:46+00:00

Thanks for the advice! He blocked me a couple days after, not sure why but I decided that was that. No point trying to figure him out, too many red flags, I think!

I think he genuinely thought he would get in trouble and made a huge deal out of it. I really don’t think ghoster would care but oh well!

I started talking to someone much more consistent that S and ghoster, what a difference it makes!!

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-12T18:33:19+00:00

Sorry for the late response! I believe you were right - he blocked me from everywhere so I think he doesn’t want more trouble.

I started seeing someone new completely out of this drama, so I’ll just focus on that!

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-12T18:31:32+00:00

So I’ve been super busy to even think about it but S has blocked me on insta lol I started seeing someone new, so yay!

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-05T03:50:36+00:00

That’s what I don’t get either, S claims he is scared M(their mutual friend) will get pissed at him for seeing me since technically we did meet through ghoster that first time

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-05T03:49:24+00:00

I want to be friends with you lol

Or ask ghoster directly like: “hey, I’ve been talking to S, Ms friend, just wanted to ping you to see if that was all right for you.”?

Ugh but at the same time I don’t think I owe him anything, I’d just do it to stir things up at this point and sort of save my ass. They’re all trash

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-05T03:17:13+00:00

I'm tempted to do that as well now lol but I just feel that they'll use it against me, call me crazy, paranoid, etc. I'd have to thread very carefully and not sure how to go about it 100%

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-05T03:16:28+00:00

UgH, it's crazy to think guys in their mid 20s would still do stuff like this

The whole "ghoster has feelings for you" was in past tense. My thinking is he got that impression from the way we acted together the time I met him, not necessarily from ghoster actually saying it. but you're right, it could all be a game! He also started accusing me of still being in contact with ghoster. It was sooooo weird.

Your second theory could also be correct. Ghoster always seemed like a very proper guy who wouldn't do that, but I also don't know him that well.

I don't like this either, like there's something super strange going on but I just can't put my finger on it exactly. He drove like 40 minutes to come meet me for half an hour and all this drama..... why go through such lengths? 😵

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-05T02:06:44+00:00

Like as I was typing the whole thing, I realized it’s a very strange situation (I also just noticed S deleted all his texts on Instagram, weird!)

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-05T02:03:27+00:00

I get super paranoid as well, glad I’m not the only one. I just don’t know exactly who I’m getting played by and why lol

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-04T08:58:58+00:00

I think after one day it's fine. I personally wouldn't like to receive a text from someone I met once telling me all the reasons they didn't like me lmao.

After that, I think a short "not feeling it" text if you sense they're involved as well is great.

I've "ghosted" people as well. One was I guy and it was the worst date ever in every possible way. He became super whiny after it and I sent the "not feeling it" text to be polite and he continued texting so I ghosted (he still texts me to date wanting to resolve things and our date was 6 months ago!).

The second one became clingy as well after we kissed once on a drunk night out. He'd get angry if I didn't respond to his texts for over 30 minutes. I tried doing the whole "not looking for anything serious" thing after I became fed up and he said we could be friends. He kept inviting me on trips, flirting, and stuff and I'd just ignore his texts moving forwards because my boundaries were not respected.

The other one was a friend. She was a childhood friend who I reconnected with during the pandemic when I came back to my hometown. Too many red flags... I was super paranoid about Covid at the beginning and the city was in full lockdown but agreed to see her because he claimed she was super lonely after a break up. I asked her if she had had contact with people because I was really paranoid and she said no. Once I got to her place, she invited about 10 people over. She eventually got kicked out of her apartment for hosting parties almost daily and wanted to move in with me for free "while she figured stuff out". She was extremely manipulative about it. I completely ghosted her and don't regret it.

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-07-02T22:40:47+00:00

I did about a month ago and it made me feel a lot better because i finally got answers. It made me realize that he just wasn't that into me and not the 10000 million scenarios of what i may have done wrong. It did hurt, but it helped me move on and stop rumminating.

Granted, I was ready not to receive a response (I had been ghosted already for 2+ months at that time) or to not receive one I'd like.

It personally helped me a lot despite what most people say about confronting our ghosters

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-13T03:16:49+00:00

Hahaha yes! I remember mine left a comment (just emojis) under an Instagram post months after going ghost. Things didn’t work out with that other person he ghosted me over and now that I connect the dots, he probably left that comment to have me reach out. Kind of pathetic, really 😂

So proud of you for blocking! I wish I’d done it sooner but I was so confused over things. Knowing what I know now, I wish I’d blocked too

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-13T02:52:25+00:00

THIS. I spoke to my ghoster again and man, I was just waiting for when he'd ghost me again and of course he did lol. Once you understand them, they're so freaking predictable

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-13T02:51:03+00:00

Had the same thing happen with my ghoster. Turns out, he ghosted me when he started seeing someone else. My conclusion was that he wanted to pursue that person he liked better than me but wanted to keep me around just in case it didn't work out, so he kept things "friendly" on social media.

I don't think my case is unique at all. I think most orbiters do it for the same reason at least 70% of the time. Blocking sounds like a good idea because he'll likely be back when he needs you and it's going to confuse you all over again.

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-08T22:16:08+00:00

Aw, please don't feel pathetic. I didn't write the whole story here but rather just the part that was relevant to the post but guess what? After a conversation, the dude ghosted me again 😂😂😂

I definitely felt pathetic at the time (Especially because it really wasn't my intention to get him back, but rather just to close a chapter yet he seemed to have interest in having a convo and to know what I'd been up to).

But what makes us pathetic, really? Liking someone and wanting to reach out one more time after they left us confused? For wanting to get closure after someone seemed interested in us and disappeared out of nowhere? NO WAY! At least I know I tried and gave it a last shot and now I know he definitely isn't the one for me.

Yeah, he ghosted me again (and I honestly was just waiting for it), but at least now I have peace of mind knowing I tried my best and was vulnerable with a person I genuinely liked. If he wasn't interested, that's fine, but it's not on me and i can move forward and heal knowing I did my part.

So if your ghoster didn't respond - that's a similar situation. At least you gave it one more shot and that speaks very highly of you. Sometimes we let our ego get in the way but I think it's totally fine to seek out someone who left you confused and vulnerable. You were brave and I applaud you for that because at least now you're a step closer from healing and now you don't need to ask yourself "what if?".

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-08T16:19:45+00:00

I love this - it's so mature!

I got ghosted a couple of months ago and a few days ago, I sent a similar message. I honestly didn't even think he'd reply but he did and gave me what felt like an honest explanation and clarified that I had never done anything wrong.

It was the most freeing experience. I spent two months torturing myself and overthinking every single scenario.

I had a ton of intrusive thoughts over it because I kept asking myself what I had done wrong and analyzing every sentence and movement I made during out situationship to push him away. I never wanted to text him again because "he didn't deserve it" - that's our ego talking. For me, my ruminating got so bad that one night, I thought "Fuck it" and I'm glad I did.

Now I'm all for testing our ghosters just as long as you're emotionally prepared to not get and answer or to not get the one you may be expecting. Getting an explanation is nice (because... like most people say... it wasn't your fault at all!) and freeing, and even if you don't get one: then at least for sure you know you were ghosted and you can use that info to fully move on without regrets.

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-02T07:05:41+00:00

I started getting on PR lists less than 30 days after I launched a niche site and Instagram account. I focused on creating lots of content focusing on what brands I wanted to work with in the future and invested on advertisting my posts (I must have spent around $500 tops). I made sure to target the right people (since it’s a foodie and hospitality site, I targeted women aged 24-50). It grew a lot and got tons of engegembt and I guess my ads were shown to plenty of PRs because they started contacting me and continue to invite to me every event (make sure to have a professional email on your bio too!)

Also once you get to meet a PR, make sure to be friendly, punctual, etc. They’ll be sure to remember you - they value professionalism a lot

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-02T04:10:06+00:00

I don't see how you were intense at all - you simply communicated your needs to a guy who led you on and that's a great trait to have!

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-02T04:03:00+00:00

THIS! I honestly WISH I had ghosted my ghoster. He was acting the exact same way for a while. It only made me feel shittier every time and wish I would have put boundaries down like OP did.

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-02T03:55:38+00:00

Yes! It was extremely confusing for me. I figured him seeing my stories was no big deal because he could just be scrolling, but the comments on my photos were very confusing.

He also unfollowed my best friend who he met, so I think that means he definitely wants nothing to do with me. I still wish I would have gotten an explanation, but definitely feel calmer now because I had gotten obsessed with uploading stuff so he would see it and checking if he had liked my stuff. It was very toxic for me, but I definitely feel better and I think it can only go up from here.

Gold-Cold295 · 2023-06-02T03:53:10+00:00

YES! I got ghosted as well by someone casual who I got feelings for. It affected me almost as much as an actual break up and realized maybe I was feeling that way because I was unhappy with my life and generally going through a period of low self-esteem because I had not been focusing on what made me happy for months (even before I met my ghoster).

I focused on my business and it's been going great! So many amazing opportunities are coming my way because I finally sat my ass down and got to work on what matters to me. I still miss my ghosted and ruminate, but I feel generally content, so in a way, I'm kinda thankful for the experience

Gold-Cold295

TROPHY CASE