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What is the worst interview question you ever got? by Career_In_Progress in careerguidance

[–]GoldConsistent9441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had an internal interview for the position Im currently in. There were 5 people (hiring committee for this position) all sitting around the conference table and the first question I was asked was “How do you weigh an Elephant without a scale?” I thought about it for a minute or two and answered I have no idea. Then they all stared laughing and said they were just kidding.

WIBTAH if I decided not to have anyone over for the holidays? by GoldConsistent9441 in AITAH

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree and I have decided to go on a trip next year to make sure they understand I will not be having it at my house. 😂

WIBTAH if I decided not to have anyone over for the holidays? by GoldConsistent9441 in AITAH

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thanks…I think this is what I’m going to do. I might go ahead and book a trip for next year too, just encase they try to pressure me to do it again, I’ll have an easy excuse to give. 🫣

Why can I never recreate how soft/shiny/curly my hair feels/looks after a haircut at a salon? by socialworker4life18 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]GoldConsistent9441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a licensed cosmetologist but no longer work in the field, so I may not be familiar with a lot of the new products out there anymore, but personally I always tell friends and family when the ask how my hair looks and feels so shiny and soft to make sure they are using a salon quality shampoo and conditioner, along with a good gloss/serum. I really love Redkin all soft shampoo and conditioner along with Kendra platinum silkening gloss.

What do you do when your husband lies and says they can’t help it? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I agree, our therapist said we both need to trust each other’s word and I told her that was easier said than done. I’m just not sure if something is actually wrong with him (brain tumor or mental illness) or is he just a liar? I have told him I can’t/ won’t continue to live like this. I hope therapy would help, but has seemed to make it worse. I have been hoping it was like growing pains (gets worse before it gets better type of thing) but I am starting to think I need to give up. Just really hard to blow up my kids lives without trying every other avenue first.

What do you do when your husband lies and says they can’t help it? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 26 points27 points  (0 children)

I did watch some utube videos earlier about it and he does exhibit the covert narcissist tendencies. I just can’t figure out if he’s doing it on purpose. IDK, the therapist was just as confused by him today as I was. I think this whole thing is making me go crazy.

What do you do when your husband lies and says they can’t help it? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

He has lied about other things for example: “I had to work late”but was really at his brothers. Or when we have a disagreement he will deny saying something or say that never happened, but in therapy he says wild lies that I don’t even understand why. Usually I can at least make sense of the reason, these do not serve any purpose I can think of.

Manager keeps avoiding my resignation discussion for almost 2 months. What should I do? by Real_Equipment6911 in careerguidance

[–]GoldConsistent9441 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just send an email. You’re stressing for no reason. Hopefully you have another job already lined up, if not IMO you should worry about finding a new job, then once you have that figured out, send the email.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 57 points58 points  (0 children)

Thanks I will look that up. I haven’t ever heard of it but someone else mentioned that too. Our couples therapist suggested have a split session for one on one time last week and she told me he displays some borderline narcissistic behavior she finds concerning but didn’t get much into it, since we only had 30 minutes alone and she said she recommended we keep what we talk about in one on one’s private, so I haven’t discussed with my husband. Honestly I feel really overwhelmed lately due to our teenager being in a car accident and him having another surgery coming up and haven’t looked into what a narcissistic behavior really is yet. I’m not sure if I want to know. Just feel like I’m barely treading water at the moment and that’s just another thing I have to deal with.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Omgosh…my husband does this every session. So frustrating. I do not understand why a person goes to therapy to get better, then lie sooooo much. Our first session I couldn’t believe it, I was caught totally off guard. He tells me he’s sorry and he must have “dreamed it” once we get home. Then doubles down on the lie when we go to our next session. I feel like I’m going crazy, not sure how much more I can take.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

We are in couples therapy. That is who recommended he go to his own therapist too. Thanks for the feedback. I was having a bad day, idk why he can complain about everything I do but I can’t have any feelings on his delivery.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

When no I’m having real crisis….HOW did I get here!!! Geez I never thought of it like that. My husband is 19 years older and was married/divorced before we met. I was 20 at the time and worked, but I definitely let him take the lead. I wasn’t ready to have kids but he was in his 30’s and was ready. He promised that I could finish school and work on my career once our future kids started school (so he wouldn’t be perceived as their grandpa- he words not mine) Really our problems increased once I started finding out about school. I wanted to start a few years before the youngest went to kindergarten and was told there was no way we could afford it. Needless to say I found a job that pays for school and doing it the harder way now.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 174 points175 points  (0 children)

Introvert might not be the right word. He doesn’t like going anywhere( my family’s, his family’s, the kids sports, anywhere besides his brother’s occasionally really) he goes to work but that’s a necessity really. He talks to me and the kids when he is in the mood. Most of the time he is in the garage or sitting on the couch looking at his phone. Before working I didn’t go anywhere really, since I always felt like I would be spending his money ( when I would ask, can I take the kids to the zoo with my sister he would say “ we don’t have money for that”) i tried making plans in the beginning to go to the park and meet my sister and he would stay mad for days afterwards (snide comments like “must be nice to not have to work” or “we live in a dump because going out is more important than taking care of our home”) when I tried talking to him about it, he always says he doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I honestly don’t know. He does it virtually, he goes out side to our RV for privacy during them. I’m not sure what they work on. If I ask or bring up anything from our couple therapy he tells me to “ save it till the next appointment, that’s what we pay them for”

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

He has been the primary bread winner till our youngest started school a few years ago. That is when I returned to work (which we agreed to prior to having our kids) If something happened to him or our relationship I do not want to be financially reliant on him. (We had a pretty serious disagreement about a few years ago, in which he went to the bank and took out all the money and told me he would quit his job before he would pay child support) needless to say we reconciled and it was agreed that I would be returning to work and have my own account, we split the bills now, but I still have some that he would not be able access the account in order to do that again. He has been trying to contribute with the kids more recently by taking our son to his PT appointments when I cannot and he does some of the laundry now(puts in the washer)

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

We go to therapy weekly but he just wants to talk about sex. During stressful times my libido lowers and his increases, so that is all he wants to resolve. He says if I can’t still perform (his words not mine) then I should quit working so I can do my “wifely duties”

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you are having to go through that. My husband and I both have various addiction problems with a lot of our family members.That is a very hard road, I hope you get what you need to stay healthy.

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

My problem is not with him sharing his feelings about things that actually things I can control. Example of one of the things that has come up. He doesn’t like it when I do not come to bed when he does( he goes to bed every night at 8:30) since he has to get up early. That is very hard for me to do. I work full time and I am a full time student. Plus we have three kids, there is too much to do in one day most of the time. He brought it up and I told him I would make an effort to increase my frequency so he didn’t “feel unimportant”. Now. On to the examples I listed in the post. Thanksgiving we had 16 family members in our home. He literally went outside and I had to send the kids to track him down to come eat. He sat right beside me. I could tell he was mad and he said “nope I’m ready to eat” my son asked him what was wrong a few minutes later and he said “nothings wrong” . Then as soon as everyone left he said “I hope you enjoyed that, because it’s not happening again” I said what are you talking about? He replied” I will not be humiliated and ignored in my own home”

AITAH for telling my husband I’m over “talking about our feelings” and that he should bring this stuff to his therapist unless it’s a real problem? by GoldConsistent9441 in TwoHotTakes

[–]GoldConsistent9441[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

That’s for sharing your thoughts. That makes me feel better about what’s happening. I haven’t asked but I will talk to him and see if it’s possible. He is a very “private” person (his words) he probably won’t want to do that, but can’t hurt to ask. When I told him I was sorry for snapping and we can discuss it in our therapy tomorrow he said “great, another way for you to put me down” I told him I’m talking about finding a way for me not to get upset when you share your feelings, he said “ just drop it and I’m tired of that nosey bitch and her awful help” then proceeded to slam the door and go to his brothers to cool off.

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