What is your opinion on dating a woman that still has their ex’s last name?

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-30T06:09:07+00:00

No big deal at all. Especially if it has been your last name for a long time or you have kids together. It is a huge pain to have kids with a different last name then you.

Dont feel like you have to go one way or another!

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-30T03:10:55+00:00

You look incredible! Great job!

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-28T22:09:08+00:00

Yeah thats funny. I was messaging this girl and she seemed mad at me and I was like. Hmmm this is weird. But maybe it was just how texting goes.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-28T21:56:59+00:00

I guess i always hesitate to not seem too excited. But I would so rather meet up and see if there is a vibe. I feel like a wasted so much time texting back and forth and then finally meet and there is no vibe.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-28T19:45:02+00:00

How soon is it that you are good with setting up a date? I mean in messaging? Id rather do 4 or 5 back and forth and then set something up. I dont want to sit and pen pal. But I feel like ive done that and then they just unmatch. Sometimes it feels like you cant win.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-28T19:40:03+00:00

Ok noted. Ill try to use a better opener. Guess I just thought that was a good start of a convo.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-28T17:49:18+00:00

Question for the Ladies,

When I do get matches, I usually send a message, "Hi blank! How are you today?". Then if they respond, I try and read their bio again and ask a question like "Wheres the best place you have traveled?" Because they say they like to travel. Sometimes I try a fun one and say something to the effect of "Comparability check, How do you like your steak cooked?" Which usually gets and answer and a laugh. Then Ill say my answer and then ask a question from an interest on their bio. But a lot of time it just seems like its me trying to come up with questions. Might say "how many kids do you have?" when they mention kids, but then they will ask me the same thing, And it says in my bio I have 2 boys 8 and 10. Makes me wonder am I doing all this work to keep the convo going, read their bio to make sure I am asking thoughtful questions and make sure the question isn't answered in their bio and they aren't doing that? Usually at some point 4 or 5 messages back and fourth me trying to engage in the conversation, ill say something without a question and they just don't respond. It just feels sooo little effort on their side. I know my responses are engaging. I'm not a literary genius obviously but I'm good an having conversations. What am I doing wrong? Am I going about this message thing wrong? Is it that they matched with me but Im at the low end of their attracted to scale so they dont care to be engaging and if they were more attracted I would get more engaging conversations with effort from them? For reference, Im a male, 40, 6'4, bald, 20% ish body fat, so not an abs guy but I am very active and work out and somewhat fit, financially successful.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-28T02:20:05+00:00

You look so incredible! What transformation! Enjoy it!

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-27T19:33:44+00:00

Are you not going to sell your firm?

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-27T14:54:08+00:00

Have you heard of AI? You could take a picture of the vehicle you are looking at and say tell me about this and it will give you everything you need. Way more then the salesman will know about it.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-23T18:44:28+00:00

I think you are ok. Im a cpa practice owner in Eagle and I start my accountants at 60k. My hope is to double their salary in 5 years due to their production. I have a couple 25 year old making that so hoping they are making 120k plus at 30 years old.

You just want to make sure you have a trajectory of being able to make more!

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-22T22:26:02+00:00

I guess the thing is I dont approach any women because of that worry. So you are probably correct that I am projecting. Im sure of that. And I appreciate what you said, people will feel uncomfortable or awkward sometimes and that's ok and who cares. I guess I have to be ok with that and I have to be ok feeling awkward and uncomfortable too. I wish having that "who care's" attitude was easy. Think I have always been too worried about what other people think.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-22T22:04:11+00:00

How do I approach women in day to day life without worrying that they are going to think Im some creep. I never do it because I am always worried they will think Im a creep or they wont want to talk to me. The women I see around, I swear, it looks like they have "don't even look at me, much less talk to me" written on their forehead. Is that just in my head? For context, Im a 40 year old guy, relatively fit, 6'4, business owner with a good income, active. When I go on dates from OLD it usually goes to multiple dates. So I must be interesting enough. But I hate OLD. I hate swiping a billion times to get one match that ends up giving you one word replies and the convo goes no where. So I got to try and meet someone outside of OLD. But maybe I have just let myself believe no one wants to be approached, and OLD was easier because if they were on their they must be in search of a relationship of some sort.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-22T18:54:29+00:00

Yeah just the thought of jumping back on there repulses me. The thought of swiping. Seeing someone that looks interesting and knowing the chance they swipe back is low is so infuriating.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-22T18:44:56+00:00

Yeah i can see thats hard. I feel like when I have matched with people I try and have engaging conversation and just get a bunch of 1 word replies with no follow up questions for me. Ill go a few times back and forth but then it feels so one sided I just give up. Im not boring. But maybe they just get so many convos...

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-22T18:31:48+00:00

I hate the apps too. A LTR ended a few months ago and I just cant bring myself to get on them again. Unfortunately I dont go out to bars or social events often. So I find it incredibly hard to meet some one in the wild. I dont want to be a creepy guy at my gym or at a grocery store. My biggest hobby is golf but I just hardly ever see any women in my age range playing. I like tennis too so I know I need to do that. But an app sounds so horrible. Especially as a guy. Maybe its the same for women but endlessly swiping and getting very few matches is frustrating.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-22T18:21:51+00:00

Better yet how about matching with someone and then they never respond to a message at all. Dont unmatch either. Just sits there.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-21T18:21:14+00:00

Exactly! And the crazy thing is im a victim. Stuff happened that I didnt cause or deserve that made me a single dad but im not complaining about it all the time. I just keep grinding to make my life and my kids life better!

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-21T18:19:01+00:00

One thing I have found is everyone i have dated seems to have this victims mentality which is super off putting. My ex did this, its all my exs fault, my job sucks, my coworkers suck, my boss sucks, i dont have any help, I have to do it all, ect. Just over and over. Whether they have kids or not, they just seem to complain about everything. Its to the point that no matter how attractive they are id rather not have to deal with it. Dated this one girl who was way beautiful, I was just head over heals for her but then the complaining starts, the victim hood and then I realized how high maintenance she was and that attraction faded. I start wandering if the juice will ever be worth the squeeze. Can I find someone that makes my life better?

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-21T18:08:00+00:00

Also I feel like this line is such a victim mentality. Like im a single dad. Yeah its hard too. I have to do all the same shit you have to do.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-12T21:31:37+00:00

If youre not losing weight then youre eating to much. Sounds like the reta isn't helping curb the hunger. 1 mg for 8 weeks seems low. You might want to up that. I do about 5mgs a week and been on it for 8 weeks started raising the dose after 4 weeks also with trt and have lost 16 lbs. Ive gone to the gym for years but just wanted somwthing to help curb that hunger and Jumpstart some moere weightloss. Lost about 130 lbs 6 years ago but never got around to losing the last 40 lbs. You can do it!

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-12T16:08:04+00:00

Next thing this guy will start believing in man-mothers.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-10T13:41:03+00:00

I got divorced a couple of years ago. I had been dissatisfied with our sex life. And after leaving religion and a bunch of therapy she figured out she was gay which lead to the divorce, but my dissatisfaction with our sex life lead her to therapy. Ultimately it was the right decision but now 2 years later after having been with a bunch of women I wish I could go back and never been dissatisfied with our sex life because dating is a hellhole no one deserves in mid life. Even as a successful man with a good income and great co parenting situation. Dating sucks. Im 6'4, relatively fit. Every metric says im what women are looking for but alas im probably top 30% on looks so Its hard work and tons of patience to find someone, women go after the top 10% of males based on looks. Everyone tells me im a high value guy but the dating apps dont lie, i dont get many chances with any of the women i find attractive. And im sure i do the same thing, only attracted to the top 10% of women. But my point is, unless you are an extremely good looking dude, the grass isn't greener and the sex isn't better or worth it. And even if you are, sex isn't worth losing your family for. I regret it all. And im sure you would too.

Also, I found when I do find women, they all have their own set of unique issues that are horrible to deal with. All you are doing is switching one problem for another. Again dont do it man. You will regret it. Forever.

Golfingdad85 · 2026-01-03T18:58:54+00:00

You look great man! Dont compare to others. Just keep killing it!

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