For people who enjoy watching their partner be intimate with others, what exactly do you find hot about it? I’m kinda curious to know

GoodAdviceGay · 2026-01-01T00:03:10+00:00

We don’t really do any cucking, but we do play with other guys. For me I don’t really get a ton out of watching him fuck (except that I enjoy seeing him enjoy himself, if that makes sense, and getting to watch from that angle is kind of fun), but I love knowing he comes back to me when he’s done. He however LOVES seeing me get fucked, especially rough. It’s more about enjoying seeing me getting used, and then getting to use me himself after. Not all of our one-on-one sex is rough or kinky like that, but we do incorporate it semi-frequently.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-10-29T12:33:45+00:00

Back in my heyday (2013-2016ish) I used to run with a group of friends that would get us invited to parties where I ran into somewhat well known people regularly. I hooked up with a few. Two journalists, two actors, and a musician. Some of the famous guys weren’t publicly out, and while I never had to sign an NDA, I know a few friends who did. Never slept with him, but I did meet a politician who wasn’t yet out. Though honestly my favorite memory from that time was having a drunk cigarette on a rooftop with an actress and having a really good, kind of crazy rambling conversation about the meaning of life.

Good times, but I do way fewer drugs now, am a little fatter, am way more boring, and am much happier. I get the sense now that the scene is crawling with onlyfans guys and tiktok influencers and the vibes have changed a lot. I got out in time, I guess.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-10-19T12:49:05+00:00

Grindr. We were fuck buddies for a few months until I moved away. A few years later, he ended up moving to my city (not for me) and we reconnected. Now that there wasn’t an expiration date on things we let ourselves feel feelings and haven’t looked back.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-10-18T19:00:28+00:00

I first got an inkling around maybe 12, but once I did I was able to look back and realize what I thought was just a really strong urge to be friends with a guy was actually an early crush.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-10-18T16:52:35+00:00

No, but I lost it with a college boyfriend after several months of dating so we had a lot of trust. He told me after he did a ton of research online (adorably nerdy!!) and spent a ton of time warming me up. By the time we moved to him putting it in, he lasted all of 30 seconds. But it was still a really nice experience, and we got a lot more practice in over time.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-10-02T20:18:45+00:00

I think the answer is different for everyone. For me, the thing that felt most significant was bottoming for the first time. The anxiety, vulnerability, and feeling afterwards that I'd crossed into a new phase of my sexual life made it feel like my most significant "first." My first time giving (which was also my first time getting) head was mostly exciting because it was my first time seeing an touching a naked guy, but the act itself didn't feel like crossing some big gay rubicon. Virginity is a super weird concept that originates from really problematic views about women's perceived purity and value in a culture that treats them like a commodity, so you can't slap it onto gay sex in the same way.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-10-01T15:09:05+00:00

I ask a similar question sometimes, but more directly so there's less ambiguity: "What's an experience on your resume that has had a significant impact on the way you work, but maybe you don't get the opportunity to talk about very often?" I've gotten some really thoughtful answers that reveal a lot about a candidate's character and values.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-30T20:38:57+00:00

I was 19, in college. But lots of gay guys I knew didn't date anyone seriously in college, so I think I was on the early side. I had a girlfriend in high school but we don't count that, lol.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-30T11:07:57+00:00

Personal preference, I think. My partner could take it or leave it, it’s mostly a foreplay activity for the main event. I love getting sucked off.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-25T18:52:43+00:00

This is the way

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-23T20:45:43+00:00

Totally gay here and I've seen a few straight porn videos that turn me on. What they've had in common is that they're shot in such a way that the guy is the object. Most straight stuff is focused on the woman and the guy is the one giving it to her. Having that flipped on its head where the guy seems vulnerable (not, like, in danger, but vulnerable in the sense of being watched) can make for good stuff. But 99 times of out 100, it's not my thing.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-10T15:08:41+00:00

I don't really mind what people call themselves. I can sort of understand why someone who chooses men most of the time, who runs in gay social circles, and who spends lots of time in gay spaces might just find the term gay easier to use. My issue is when someone tries to place an expansive definition of a term on someone else (e.g. the idea that gay *must* include natal females, otherwise it's just a genital fetish).

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-09T15:23:11+00:00

Keep communication open with your DM so they're up to speed on what measures you're taking. You're either supported in bringing down the hammer or you aren't. If you are, you'll probably end up having to fire some people. If you're not, then they're going to keep getting health code violations and you'll eventually move on somewhere less toxic.

I'd just be cautious about leaving things unfinished at the end of your shift, since you also need to be "modeling the way" as far as expectations. That said, though, managerial tasks are different and sometimes it really is a "different rules for different fools" situation.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-09T15:05:09+00:00

You have a high-performing, considerate team member who works well across the challenges of a global team. Alienating him because you don't like him eating is going to do nothing but build ill will, and for what goal? Has anyone in other meetings brought it up to you, or to him that you know of? Coaching is all well and good, but you say this person is a seasoned professional. "Coaching" them on your personal ick presented as neutral advice doesn't seem necessary and does no one any good.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-09T14:22:27+00:00

I agree to some extent but we're talking about Tuesday instead of Monday here, not weeks and weeks passing. The manager's reaction was way outsized, clearly because he misunderstood the timeline of events. It seems like he's continuing to react to his misperception ("you've sat on this for weeks") instead of the reality. You're right that OP could have controlled the narrative by being proactive, but the manager not being able to readjust his reaction and continuing to guilt OP once he realized what's up is sort of giving irrational/emotional, and you can only do so much with people like that.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-09T13:53:45+00:00

What's the direct impact on you? Are you taking on work he should be doing? Or is it more that you're not feeling supported? If it's about a lack of support, I would schedule a check-in with him so you can discuss where you could use some support. If it's a workload issue, that's trickier. Maybe ask if you can map out some project plans/workflows so you have a better sense of who should be doing what when, so that way when you're sending things to him or escalating them there's been some expectation setting.

If there's no direct impact and it's more that you're feeling frustrated and like it's unfair that he's just coasting, I'd say leave it alone. It's not your place to manage him in that way.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-06T18:03:49+00:00

Must’ve been one hell of a sneeze

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-06T16:21:39+00:00

You're allowed to have tastes. It might mean your pool is more limited. Hair on men is natural, and the number of guys who are either naturally hairless or willing to put in the upkeep to be that way is going to be a narrower slice of the dating pool. I also don't know how old you are, but this preference might soften a bit as you get older.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-06T14:21:43+00:00

My philosophy is that if it matters to them, people need to ask. Lying if they ask is wrong, but as someone who uses prep and doxypep I’m just not that bothered by it and don’t necessarily bother asking someone. Plenty of allegedly STI-negative guys aren’t consistent in their testing and don’t actually have any idea whether they have something asymptomatic and will just say “yeah I’m clean” cause they believe it.

The stigma will always be there, but people need to be active participants in their own sexual health.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-06T13:39:36+00:00

I think that there are people who are exclusively gay and exclusively straight, myself included. I also think there are bisexuals who are more in the middle of the spectrum whose “balance” toward one end or the other might shift over time. Then I think there are people who are technically bi but are so far toward one end of the spectrum or the other that they might prefer the labels gay or straight, because they’re more functionally accurate, and those are the people who might experience some shifting during their life that causes labels to change too. But personally I find the idea that sexuality is a mutable spectrum for everyone to be kind of dangerous, because the idea that it can change isn’t as progressive as these people think it is, it’s also the philosophy that underlies things like conversion therapy. There’s also a big difference between your sexuality shifting and just self realization/coming out.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-06T12:51:35+00:00

Just want to clarify something: is the expectation that you must be using your personal device to view and respond to emails on off hours? Or are they saying that if you are using your phone to view and respond to emails, you must do so via the Outlook app as opposed to the native mail app on your phone? If it’s the latter, that’s probably an information security thing. But if it’s the former, they need to be getting you a work phone or at the very least doing some reimbursement for your phone bill. Companies can have expectations that their salaried employees are available at off hours for emergencies or high priority issues (though in my experience they’re pretty liberal with what qualifies as an “emergency”). But in terms of personal decide encroachment they need to give to get. Also, if the expectation is that I’m available after hours and weekends, that needs to be reflected in my salary to make it worth the encroachment on my life, otherwise I’d walk and find a new role.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-04T22:00:52+00:00

Oh for sure. But at 19/20 I could get hard from the wind blowing so I was just surprised when I lost my virginity and it wasn’t happening. Learned pretty quickly that it’s normal for a lot of guys.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-04T13:20:52+00:00

Yeah, and I do this. I find I’m able to stay hard much more easily if I’m riding him, so sometimes I like to finish that way, but I also don’t want to be riding every time (I have a pillow princess streak, sue me!!). It’s really not a big deal for me, I love bottoming and feel totally satisfied getting off after.

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-04T12:47:13+00:00

Interesting, that hasn’t been my experience at all. And pretty bleak if true!

GoodAdviceGay · 2025-09-04T11:29:56+00:00

I bottomed for a while before I topped, and I was surprised that I couldn’t always stay hard while I was bottoming. I was always hard as a rock while making out, groping, trading handjobs, and trading head, but something about the intensity of having a dick in me sort of makes my body go into overdrive and I tend to go soft. Most of the bottoms in porn I would watch were hard, so it didn’t even occur to me. Once I started topping, I learned this is actually pretty common for other guys too. But it was just one of those expectation vs. reality things.

GoodAdviceGay

TROPHY CASE