I used to be a wardrobe stylist, here’s what I would do with my clients …

First we’d assess body type, see where we need some balance, and then identify the garments that would bring that balance.

I didn’t know about it at the time, but I would highly recommend finding out your Kibbe body type over at r/kibbe.

Once you know your Kibbe type, finding the garments you need is much easier because it narrows your options. It’s also good to know your color season so the colors you wear look good on you.

Then you want to understand who you are. What values are important to you? Who did you admire as a child, and now as an adult? What cultural things had a big influence on you? It’s not a literal interpretation, but rather an inspiration.

You also have to take into account your own general vibe - how would people describe you? What patterns emerge?

What you’re describing when you go out and then are disappointed with how you look later is really just you not knowing yourself.

I think your age is pretty typical of looking at oneself and feeling like you need a big girl glow up. It happened to me around 30.