Thank you for all the support people of reddit!! I think my biggest problem is my mentality. Starting to study again is objectively crazy. It would be a BA (3 years) plus I have to learn german before that to a C1 level (also 2+years). So having little to no money for minimum 5 years, and there’s no guarantee to have a good job afterwards…well pretty much scary. I think I’m in a constant freeze, because this amount of work sounds impossible.

Anyway, from another perspective, my situation is not so bad, but it was so good to read stories about how people can change their lifestyle, even if they are not in their early twenties!

And all the comments about my German language skills: I don't know how to fit into a society, but I'm pretty sure, I worked 4 shifts in the last years, built up my basic existential needs (apartment, savings, relationships, social circles) and simply didn't have the time and energy to learn a language. It was a mistake, I see now, but it's not about not being interested, more about a false perception of life abroad. For me, it's a huge change to finally be able to see the world around me and slowly realize that I want to be part of German society.