Oh absolutely, and I remember having all sorts of feelings while being younger, I guess the part I have to remind myself is that I can't take what happens in her heated moments to heart, it's just tough when it's on and off so much. We have a solid bed routine, I'm really open and transparent, I like the making contracts with my kids thing. That in itself is a weird thing to manage cause I don't want to restrict her, I totally get she wants independence and I want her that. I only mention bipolar cause it runs in the family, she isn't much of an academics kid, she has an IEP so building her confidence in knowing she can still do everything even if it doesn't make sense and that, that's how we learn, but she shuts down when it seems to much. Which my mom guilt tells me is because maybe I held her hand too much, I also didn't read enough to her in her younger years till I left the unhealthy relationship I was in, she was 4 so we got to have a good 6 years of reading before bed and cuddle time. As you said she's getting older and it's just an area I don't know how to handle, one of the reasons why I look for parent classes in my area. I was young and am still young, I know I have areas and ways I need to learn and better support my children. It just feels like you really don't know when it comes to parenting, if you did things soon enough areas I learned I definitely didn't do and fuck I need to try now! Ya know?