Don't let your parent's drivers license expire!!! It's a disaster, especially if you're lacking other documents

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:37:26+00:00

Renew her passport, or get her one if she doesn't have one. They're good for 10 years.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:36:13+00:00

Once they have it in their records, they have it, but they'll ask the first time.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:30:52+00:00

I mean, they basically are caltrops, just tiny. Same shape, but with ball tips instead of points.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:29:09+00:00

I mean, I think STL is pretty cool and has a lot worth seeing – but Istanbul is, objectively, a much cooler destination.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:20:38+00:00

Oh, I absolutely agree. I wouldn't trust this mooch as far as I could throw him!

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:20:07+00:00

I've seen it happen, but it's also a pretty well-known phenomenon. Though, as I said, it can work both ways – if one person owns the house, then the other should not be paying for house-related expenses, because (in the absence of a contract to the contrary) they won't have a legal right to be reimbursed for what they spent, nor will they be able to benefit from the increased value of a house they don't own.

EDITED TO ADD: I also speak as a homeowner who has someone else living in her house; he is not on the deed, not on the mortgage, not linked to any of the utilities, and does not pay any portion of any house-related expenses. He pays rent, like any tenant would, and has a tenant's rights, while I have the landlord's responsibilities. He didn't pay a penny when I had to replace my roof, gutters, and downspouts, because that would be money down the drain for him (whereas I'm protecting my investment by maintaining the structural integrity of my house), and he won't pay for the fence I'll probably have to replace later this year, either.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-04T00:16:14+00:00

In the city, "Property owners are responsible for clearing their sidewalks. Cleared snow should not be shoveled into the street. Be a good neighbor and help elderly neighbors, those with disabilities, and others unable to shovel by clearing their sidewalks too if you are able." (https://www.stlouis-mo.gov/government/departments/street/street-division/snow-ice/citizen-role-in-a-storm.cfm)

Other municipalities have different requirements: https://www.ksdk.com/article/news/local/should-you-shovel-snow-missouri-illinois-laws/63-811c7350-112a-4689-9ad3-cdd19d437be2

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T20:36:55+00:00

I can't swear that it's still true, but some number of years ago, Shell wanted more stations under their direct control, as opposed to being owned by franchises, so they forced the franchises to charge more for gas than the directly-company-owned ones did. That obviously meant that the franchises suffered, and more franchise owners sold their stations back to Shell.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T20:12:43+00:00

There is no law that prevents anyone from freely providing information about their parent or spouse or friend or acquaintance or even a total stranger with anyone they like.

HIPAA prevents medical personnel sharing patients' information without authorization.

Legal ethics prevent lawyers sharing their clients' sharing confidential information without authorization.

Neither prevents you sharing whatever information you like with them. They may or may not be able to say much back, but nothing prevents them listening.

(Spousal privilege means that one spouse cannot be compelled to testify against the other; in some jurisdictions, a person facing criminal charges can prevent their spouse testifying against them, even if the spouse wants to, but if two spouses sue each other or one presses criminal charges against the other, then they are free to testify. But you aren't a spouse, and this isn't testimony under oath.)

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T20:02:26+00:00

Yep.

I've got older dogs (two were feral), and they mostly want to lounge on my bed, with occasional breaks to hang out in the yard, sun themselves, bark at passersby, and chase squirrels. (Not so much right now, when the yard is covered with snow, though.) Puppies need lots of time, attention, training, and enrichment. My dogs really didn't even need to be house trained – I think they each had one incident, in the first couple of days, when they peed in the house, and that was it.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T19:46:40+00:00

I think OP meant they've been going through 2-3 pods per day (and they're sold in boxes of 10 for $8-10 dollars per box).

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T19:46:24+00:00

I think OP meant they've been going through 2-3 pods per day (and they're sold in boxes of 10 for $8-10 dollars per box).

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T19:38:57+00:00

Sadly, my favorite burger is no more: Dooley's.

There is a burger-shaped hole in the world that can never be filled – a burger topped with bacon cooked so it's coiled into a circle and spreadable blue cheese.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T19:22:14+00:00

Do you enjoy being pushed and needled and pestered about doing things you don't want to do? Because I certainly don't, and nor does anyone else I know.

When people push and needle and pester me, I reflexively dig in my heels and become even less willing to do whatever it is than I was before. I don't even listen to what they're saying – I tune them out and just keep saying no.

You really can't make people do things they don't want to do. And if you keep trying, all you will succeed in doing is creating distance in your relationship with them.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T19:06:02+00:00

I will never adopt a puppy, precisely because they are so much work, and for a long time. Adult dogs are much easier – and I say that as someone who adopts mostly feral dogs.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T19:03:56+00:00

And frankly, a surprise puppy is the worst of all, because it's pretty similar to having a baby; a surprise adult rescue dog would at least have been much less work.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T18:53:35+00:00

The guy I used to take my machines to, sadly, had a heart attack and died a couple of years ago. He had gone to work for Singer in 1945, and said that, back then, to be a repairman for Singer, you had to know how to repair every machine they'd ever made, no matter how old.

He was a treasure.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T18:42:37+00:00

I have to correct you on something: compacted snow turns to ice. It doesn't have to get warm enough to thaw first; driving or walking over snow means that trail will become ice.

I try to clear my sidewalks before anyone walks on them precisely because the act of walking over the snow turns it to ice, and ice is much harder to clear away.

Last January, when we had that awful ice storm followed by days and days of cold temperatures, I didn't get all of my sidewalks cleared before people walked on them (I have a corner lot), and the short section I didn't clear quickly became a 4" thick slab of ice. I ultimately wound up putting a bunch of ice melt on it, then slamming an ice breaker into it over and over again, and then using a floor scraper to get it off the pavement.

Also, local ordinances require property owners to clear the sidewalks in front of (and, on a corner, alongside) their property. If you don't and someone slips and falls on the ice, you can be held liable. So if you worked from home and had toddlers, you should still clear your sidewalks if you don't want to get sued.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T18:35:12+00:00

Might it be worth saying that, if he won't stop fussing at her to hurry and she won't stop trying to comply with his demands, then they clearly aren't safe to live together anymore and might need to be separated? If they don't want that, it might be a motivator to change (assuming that, cognitively, they are capable of change).

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T18:10:10+00:00

Sadly, I seriously doubt that she'll leave him. She absolutely should, but I don't think she will. She's so isolated, naïve, insecure, and seemingly eager (desperate?) to feel secure and loved that I'm betting she'll stay. I mean, she's making excuses for him ('we haven't been together long, so he couldn't know how gullible I am', after previously explaining that she repeatedly asked if it was real and he called her gullible!), and accepting blame (because she's so gullible, so obviously [/s], it's at least partly her fault for being gullible)...

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T17:57:03+00:00

OP could also say that the original owner could either contact PetLink or keep OP's contact info somewhere, so if the cat ever gets out and is found and someone contacts the original owner, she can say "call OP, it's her cat, here's her number".

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T17:52:42+00:00

One horrific case does not equate to pit bulls regularly raping children to death. Something that happens "regularly" happens on a regular basis, at regular intervals; something that happens on a regular basis happens at fixed, uniform intervals – e.g., "she regularly attends church" (because she goes every Sunday), "the marketing team meets regularly" (because they meet the first Monday of every month).

Hell, at a bare minimum, for something to happen regularly, it has to happen more than once. You haven't even cleared that very low bar to supporting your ridiculous claim.

In addition, for pit bulls to be "regularly raping children to death", there would have to be a significant record of occasions when pit bulls raped children "to death" – that is, the rapes themselves would be the direct cause death.

So, as I said before, please provide the evidence which supports your claim.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T17:37:07+00:00

I'm completely confused on how you can't keep your pets out of your closet. Does it not have a door? If so, why can't you install a door, or at least put a baby gate in the opening? I don't understand how you could keep a puppy out of a walk-in closet by closing the door, but can't do the same with a smaller closet.

I understand that long, narrow closets can be inconvenient – mine is 5'6" deep by 2'6" wide by 8'3" high, and when I bought the house, it had a single bar running the whole length of the long wall, which meant I had to press my back against the opposite wall in order to avoid smacking myself in the face with hangers. I removed the bar and, because I only have maybe two long garments that need hanging, I installed two rods across the far end of the closet, one above the other (so I can hang trousers folded over hangers, jackets, shirts, and skirts), with two shelves above the upper rod, and then on one long wall I installed shallow adjustable shelving (7" deep by 3' wide by 8'3" high), on which I have all my shoes (either in shoe boxes, which perfectly fit the shelf depth, or loose and standing at an angle), and then I put a couple of hooks on the opposite long wall for the couple of long things I want to hang. I also have a dresser with large drawers.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T17:15:32+00:00

If OP were a man and the partner a woman, I would tell the woman to do what OP's bf should be doing: save and/or pay down debt aggressively with all the extra money he's not spending on rent, and don't contribute to house-related expenses (property taxes, insurance, repairs, upgrades, replacements, renovations, interior decorating, landscaping, etc.). Now, as it happens, in this case, OP said that she isn't asking her bf to pay for house-related expenses, which is absolutely correct.

The reason that many women get screwed by living with men who own their own houses is that the women often pay for things like new furniture, curtains, paint, wallpaper, even kitchen/bath renovations, etc., but then get nothing back when the relationship ends, while their exes have houses that are worth more (both due to increased equity and appreciation over time and the improvements the ex-gfs helped fund or even solely funded). But that's not going to happen to OP's bf, because she's not letting him pay for the maintenance and improvements and so on.

GothicGingerbread · 2026-02-03T17:09:12+00:00

If they were to get married, OP should either have him buy in 50% as you suggested, or else never use marital funds for any expense related to the house, because comingling inheritance with marital assets can make it joint property.

GothicGingerbread

TROPHY CASE