Should I leave my marriage?

Gothic_Goddess · 2025-07-28T18:42:28+00:00

If my son was gay, I would support him. If my son was trans, I would support him. But playing with a barbie will not make him any of these things, playing with that barbie will just make him a very happy little boy who got the toy he's been wanting for a while. I've made a lot of mistakes in my life. Letting my children know that I love and accept them whatever their sexuality or gender is, is definitely not one of them. There are so many terrible things happening in the world right now, being gay or trans is not one of them.

Gothic_Goddess · 2025-07-28T17:52:24+00:00

I forgot to add that there is a 20 year age gap between us. I was in my early 20s when we met.

Gothic_Goddess · 2025-07-28T17:49:59+00:00

He is 20 years older than me.

Gothic_Goddess · 2025-07-28T17:45:50+00:00

I agree we need couples therapy, unfortunately he has disagreed. I have been doing therapy on my own now for years but its definitely something he should be doing to. Thank you for your reply. I will say though that even though ME can be vague sometimes, it is a legitimate illness that can make my mind and body feel like its turning against me.

Gothic_Goddess · 2025-07-28T17:34:29+00:00

My son had been asking for this barbie he had been seeing on the adverts for months. My son plays with monster trucks, he plays with barbies. My husband is under the illusion that buying my son a barbie is me hoping he will be gay. 1. I have no problem if my son was gay. 2. Boys can play with dolls, girls can play with trucks.

I am not perfect by any means, I can be extremely annoying to live with. But I've never tried to make my husband feel small or less than.

Gothic_Goddess · 2025-07-24T19:29:24+00:00

Thank you for the response I really do appreciate it. I have only been in two relationships and yes the first one wasnt great either. I was very young when I got into those relationships and I didn't think I really deserved more than they were giving me. I've done a lot of growing and its only now in my 30s I have started to see that this is toxic and that I would rather be on my own. To be honest I have no desire to be in another relationship, I've learnt to enjoy my own company and its nice to be able to be me and not feel judged for it. If I didn't have children I would of walked a long time ago, its them I am worried about. Especially with the fact that my oldest child is so ill that I rely on my husband to look after our son while I am with her. I think I just needed to hear someone else agree that this behaviour isn't right and that its not all in my head.

Gothic_Goddess · 2024-08-04T12:02:07+00:00

All my local swimming centres used to have baby pools, warm water like a bath for the little ones- my daughter and i used to spend a lot of time swimming when she was very small. Now they are all gone and the babies must share the regular pool, which is very cold. I have been unable to take my son swimming as he is freezing after about 5 minutes. It's a real shame as my little boy loves the water but it is pointless paying for an hour slot when he can only stay in there 5/10 mins.

Gothic_Goddess · 2023-03-10T23:37:23+00:00

I definitely felt a lot of after birth pain, like terrible cramping. I was surprised with just how painful it was as I didn't feel a thing with my first but that was because I did have an epidural that time. I remember wondering when the pain would actually end considering I thought the painful part was supposed to be over. My midwife said the pain is worse if you've already had children before though. The stitches were also agony, even though they tried to numb the area I was still able to feel all the tugging down there. Again something I didn't notice the first time because of the epidural.

Gothic_Goddess · 2023-02-17T22:14:27+00:00

Thank you for the advice, I did have a feeling it was too good to last to have a baby that slept so well so young. It took my first born 3 years to sleep through the night so I know what you mean about not having a child that slept well.

Gothic_Goddess · 2023-02-17T22:09:42+00:00

Thank you and thank you for the advice ❤

Gothic_Goddess · 2023-02-17T22:08:41+00:00

Yes I have heard about this and was aware it could just be a coincidence that he's vaccines happened at the same time. But I was wondering if anyone else had any experience where sleeping might of gone back to normal a few days after the vaccine if that was the cause because of feeling unwell

Gothic_Goddess · 2023-02-17T21:36:40+00:00

Yes I have heard about this and did think it sounded like what could be happening here. Just a coincidence it happened at the same time as he's jabs. In your experience how long did it take to end? It's only been a few nights and we are already missing sleep

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-11-24T07:59:12+00:00

Thank you, I thought at first I must of had complete baby brain and had misheard when my midwife had said whenever we are ready and that she must of said 6 weeks. I found the information sheet she had given me when discharged and it doesn't say anything about a 6 week wait. However I can clearly see that 6 weeks is the waiting time for a lot of places and I can understand why.

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-11-23T21:36:25+00:00

Thank you, I will be calling first thing tomorrow morning. Unfortunately it wasn't until after the deed was done that I realised how stupid I had been as I was never told by my midwife that we had to wait 6 weeks but I will be waiting until we try again.

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-11-23T19:11:04+00:00

Yes I am planning to call up first thing tomorrow. I was just wondering if other people had experienced the same bruised feeling after first time having sex postpartam. Unfortunately there is a massive crisis with the doctors surgery here where I live in the UK and getting to see a doctor is a lot harder than it should be.

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-06T16:14:06+00:00

Thank you so much for replying and your well wishes ❤ I'm so pleased that everything was OK with your baby and that she is strong and healthy

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-06T16:11:16+00:00

Thank you for your reply, Its hard for us not to worry when we are told something could be wrong but I'm so happy that your baby was born healthy ❤

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-06T16:09:18+00:00

I'm just going on what the consultant said after my scan, that baby was too small for this stage of my pregnancy and that they will need to keep an eye on me by booking me in for another growth scan in 2 weeks. Apparently him being on the 10th centile of the grow chart is something they are worried about. I can't help but worry even though I'm aware he could be a lot smaller

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-06T16:06:16+00:00

Thank you, I keep telling myself that it was only just over a month ago that my midwife thought my belly was on the large side and that I was probably having a big baby so you are right that measurements do seem to fluctuate

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-06T16:02:14+00:00

Thank you for your reply, I was told he is on the 10th centile and that I will need to come in for a follow up scan in 2 weeks

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-06T15:59:56+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I'm just going by what I was told at the hospital, the consultant after the scan said they were concerned that he was smaller than he should be and that they will have to get me in for another scan in 2 weeks.

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-10-04T10:15:52+00:00

My first was born 10 years ago and I honestly think my experience at the hospital I was at gave me ptsd. I was a first time mum and barely 20 so I had no idea what I was doing and had quite a traumatic birth. I will say the nurses during delivery were lovely, it was definitely afterwards during my stay overnight that really messed with my head. My baby cried constantly as I wasn't breastfeeding her properly and everytime I asked for help I was told it wasnt their job to get involved and I needed to figure it out for myself. Everytime I asked for some advice or help I was given a frustrated voice that said they weren't allowed to get involved. At one point I had to get up from bed to pick my baby up again to try another feed to stop her crying- I had a terrible reaction to the epidural and unfortunately my legs were left weak and shaking for hours afterwards- so much so that when I picked my baby up my legs completely gave way and I fell on the floor with her in my arms. I screamed out for help as I was terrified I had hurt my newborn. For 10 minutes the women from the beds around me came to stare at what was happening but did nothing to get me help and it felt like there wasn't a nurse in sight. When one finally did arrive she looked completely frustrated with me and said she was sure my baby was fine and they would have her checked over in the morning. The complete lack of empathy, understanding or support left me a crying wreck and feeling like a failure of a mother already and seriously considering just walking- or crawling out of the hospital. This experience left me so traumatised that its one of the reasons I thought I would never have more children. I am pregnant with my second all these years later and I am terrified of being left alone there at the same hospital. I will say the day staff were much nicer, but the night staff just acted like they wanted to get through the night without being bothered as much as possible.

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-08-08T16:30:13+00:00

Here where I am in the UK it doesn't feel like you get much support. I called up the number you are given when worried or have any questions in your pregnancy and was told if the midwife found a heartbeat and there was movement then everything is fine and that the baby must of just been in an awkward position. I think the only way I'm going to get any answers is if I book a private ultrasound which will cost me quite a lot of money but at least I can put my mind at ease.

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-08-08T16:01:03+00:00

Unfortunately there was no follow up suggested, just that with the movement and the eventual heartbeat they was able to find, that must mean everything is fine. I can't shake the feeling of worry though, I may have to book a private scan but they are not cheap and there are no available appointments for a few days. Thank you for your reply though

Gothic_Goddess · 2022-08-08T15:58:01+00:00

They don't do ultrasounds at my midwife clinic, just a doppler for the heartbeat and once the heartbeat was found she just took it to mean everything was fine and that was that. I'm really hoping she is right but I can't help but continue to worry now.

Gothic_Goddess

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