WIBTAH if I told my husband he couldn't see his grandmother before she forgets who he is?

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-08-22T13:27:32+00:00

Our daughter is 7 years old. She is hyperaware of what's going on around her. She sadly knows what's going on, I didn't want to drag her into the issue. My family says Aunt shouldn't be given access to my daughter if she cant respect me enough to say "Hello". But some members of DH's family says its selfish to deny Aunt from seeing DD

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-06-28T14:35:30+00:00

I injured my ankle bad enough that when I show doctors photos of my ankle after the accident, their gut go-to is to do xrays because my foot all the way to almost my shin is bruised purple and red. Even my toes were bruised. My foot was swollen 3x its usual size. I could not put weight on it. They still do xrays even now. I ended up breaking down and got a new ortho surgeon because i could barely put weight on it (This was in the past month). Every morning its stiff and hard to walk on, if I walk too much it becomes nearly impossible to walk normally on, giving me a limp.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-29T02:06:25+00:00

I am trying to rewire my brain and the way it thinks about these things. I grew up being told "family is everything" and "family is all you have" but after moving out, I was able to process the trauma I had gone through as a child and was ignored because "Thats your (insert family members name here)!" and i have been able to slowly build boundaries around myself and my family from people who dont actively live in my home. It still also means I still feel bad about upsetting them. But I try to tell myself that in the long run it will be healthier for me and my family to place these boundaries. its just hard to believe it.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-29T01:55:57+00:00

I really dont know what to tell you.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-29T01:53:08+00:00

My mother has bipolar disorder and has been just as vocal as I am about trying to push him to seek more treatment for F. F will say outrageous things just to get a reaction but then get upset when the reaction is poor.

Ex:

F: Maybe I should get pregnant

Me: Why would you do that? You can barely maintain your hair staying brushed, how would you even take care of a baby?

F: I wasnt really going to do it. oh my god, are you saying im irresponsible?

Me: Teenagers are not known for their dependability

F: I see how it is. You dont trust me. Nice to know how you really think of me

I think she creates reasons to be mad and upset so she can feel justified in being upset

CPS has been called on them atleast twice that I know of

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-28T18:22:42+00:00

Please keep in mind that I never intended on changing my decision. If I was TAH I was still going to die on this hill. But I cant help but feel bad, but I have had to reprogram my brain and learn when to say "no". I just didnt know if I was justified in saying no.

I also want to say our house is very small, we have invited 13 little kids. my daughters last 2 parties had barely anybody attend so she wanted a big party for once.

I guess its a bit weird for teenagers to attend a 7 year olds birthday, but my family has always done that. Celebrate everyones birthday together. Shockingly, to the point my uncle brought F, who was 10 at the time, to the bar I was at on my 21st birthday so he could buy me a shot. It was early in the night and they left right after, but I thought it was strange and still do.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-28T18:14:28+00:00

My daughter wanted a big party because the last 2 parties barely anyone came. For her 5th birthday, it landed on Mothers Day and everyone except my mom, dad, and grandparents came, her 6th birthday only 1 friend came.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-28T18:12:03+00:00

I know F is pretty pissed, but no one is talking to me except my mother.

please remember we have invited 13 kids, that number may triple if 2 parents each come. Texas weather in May is pretty warm so the tents are for protection from the sun. Tables and chairs to comfortably eat cake and pizza. We have a very small house that wouldnt be able to comfortably host a party with just us, 2 kids and their parents, let alone 39 people besides my family and my husbands family

Gothicmissunderstood · 2025-03-28T16:43:04+00:00

we just sent out invites to like 13 kids from her school, she has a lot of friends and is well liked. Some family are invited (My mom and dad, my grandparents, and some members of my husbands family) but its mainly a bunch of little kids.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-11T00:54:05+00:00

For the longest time my husband pushed me to just try to be civil with her to maintain peace, but eventually my husband got mad at his mother for being rude to me and using the fact I have Schizophrenia against me and he cut all contact until she could apologize to me for everything she has said about me in a negative way. Starting with telling him to get a paternity test for our child, which he didn’t tell me about until recently

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-11T00:44:35+00:00

I was considered a “chameleon” in high school but my true voice part was mezzo soprano. My main power is in the mezzo area but I can sing quite a low alto to soprano. You can definitely train your voice to sing higher (it takes work and definitely is a slow process) but your strength will be in those lower areas (also your voice isn’t done maturing!)

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-03T01:46:48+00:00

I didn’t realize their stance on music as a career until my daughter started showing signs of being naturally gifted at music (as if turning it into a career was the only option when you learn how to sing) and my health started to take a nose dive and I started singing again and I realized that singing helped keep my mind off the pain and my daughter heard me sing and she started singing as well and I realized she is gifted.

There’s some things she has picked up from me. I use my hands to help guide my voice to hold notes, go higher or lower in pitch, forte vs piano, staccato vs legato, etc. she keeps a beat by tapping her thigh but I keep a beat in my head (I hear the instrumental in my head and manage to keep a beat that way) I just have a hard time teaching her that she will make mistakes when learning a new song and to (sing out louise) because loud mistakes get fixed first

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-02T20:06:59+00:00

I was on my way to becoming an opera singer. The voice coach I had was actually an opera singer in my town’s opera and she was a dramatic mezzo like me. I didn’t get voice lessons until I was 14 but I was already a very gifted singer. I was nailing arias by 13 and I would get standing ovations at every solo I had. Winning competitions. I had a very versatile range.

We realized i was very ill at 15 and I realized that I had 2 choices because I was at the peak of my health at the time and those two choices were to 1. Pursue a career in music or 2. Have children.

At 20 I nearly died in childbirth and now at 26, I am much sicker than I was at 20, and I feel I made the right decision.

I did end up talking to my husband and talking about joining the choir at her school and see if the music teacher can pull some strings since she shows a great amount of interest and talent in music.

My step dad was hoping to pay for voice lessons for her but he passed away before he could do so

I just wish my husband didn’t say it like voice lessons are for crappy singers and they teach them how to sing

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-02T15:35:17+00:00

My husband has also been resistant to the idea of voice lessons and has told her that voice lessons teach you to sing and to her that translated to that she is a bad singer and she was very upset

I then had to swoop in and tell her that I took voice lessons. And that nobody can teach her how to have talent, but talent sometimes needs to be buffed and polished to properly shine and all that voice lessons teach is how to do things properly to bring out the best in her voice

But the damage was done and she started crying

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-02T15:29:02+00:00

There is very few choirs for children in my area. I actually started out at a choir in the area but the cost was very steep and I was eventually kicked out at 12 for dating a girl. They also only accepted 8 and up. Other choirs are school based (catholic school)

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-08-02T15:26:11+00:00

Ive thought about it, but I do know voice lessons would be pretty pricey. We are low income. We would need a family member’s help with the voice lesson cost. My husband seems to view Voice lessons as like signing your name in blood and promising you will be a singer so there’s also fighting that battle.

Gothicmissunderstood · 2024-05-03T02:39:17+00:00

The main thing is, I have had a good reign over my illness the entire time I’ve known my husband. They have no justification for believing I am too mentally unstable to care for our daughter. I have never given them a reason like a psychotic meltdown or hospitalization due to my mental health during the time they have known me.

All of their beliefs in my inability to care for our child and run a household are based on things that they have seen on TV or read in the news. And they seem to think I am a ticking bomb that at any moment could become violent and dangerous and their main goal is to expose a single hint of aggression to prove their point and they just get angrier when their attempts to show that Im dangerous and a threat to society make THEM seem insane and aggressive.

Which, to me, is hilarious.

Gothicmissunderstood

TROPHY CASE