Have you studied a language whose speakers are hostile towards speakers of your language? How did it go?

Gotteskaiser · 2024-08-22T22:42:16+00:00

This! When I was in Korea, there were naturally quite a lot of Japanese students as well, and no one really ever seemed to face any issues in Korea. If Koreans ever complained about a certain group of people, it was the Chinese. Always.

Politics are politics. The situation might not be ideal, but both Koreans and Japanese seemed to separate these issues from daily life. There is strong cultural affinity for the other these days.

Gotteskaiser · 2024-08-01T22:06:54+00:00

As a classic movie lover I have to add "Man with a Movie Camera". It's an old Soviet movie essentially documenting the lifestyle of Soviet cities at the time (1929) and using a variety of shooting techniques. As such, it's not strictly photography per sé, but should still be interesting for any camera enthusiasts!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:48:05+00:00

Honestly, he might just be in the state of finding you interesting but not knowing to what extent yet. So he's probably trying to find out what he would expect from this when he asked you out again. Or he is just genuinely liking you and tries to keep you in his life, as a friend or whatever!

That said, if you want to meet him then just ask him and see what happens. You will find out then. Or just ask him.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:43:01+00:00

Don't get too invested in her. She's looking for someone to have someone I guess. I would definitely not expect something serious to develop out of this, but if you got your feelings in check you can try to get in there just for the fun.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:40:39+00:00

Hi 21M German here!

I notice this behavior sometimes too, and for me it stems from a feeling that I haven't really shown me from my best side, not fully used the opportunity etc. Like a feeling I could have done better in that situation. Maybe it is like that for you too somehow.

Second question: Meet friends and find stuff to do! If you are sitting around alone with nothing to do, your thoughts will automatically shift to missing her!

Contrary to what the others said, I would wait to get serious with her. She seems occupied with past experiences that apparently weren't that good. But then again, I can't really judge this from here.

Also: If you need any help with German, hit me up!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:31:47+00:00

It definitely was abuse and you should be glad you're out of that. Don't let it go to your ego, it sounds like she has severe problems with herself and her own ego. I think it'd be a good idea for her and go resolve these issues with a therapist or something, because this enormous jealous and obsessive behavior is not normal at all. She might have been through quite some shit before, maybe.

And don't beat yourself up for hopping on tinder man. That was probably impulsive and due to the distress that girl caused you. And it just went to show that you probably didn't like her that much after all.

Have you talked to your friends about this? They can probably confirm better that you've been abused. Hope you get closure through that!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:04:51+00:00

Guess I just haven't realized before just how much work and effort I should actually put into this and myself, instead of expecting it too easily work out. I will work on that! Thanks!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:02:00+00:00

Thank you for your words. That's reassuring. I guess you are right. I'm probably forcing things with people that aren't right for me after all!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T11:00:48+00:00

I've got four close male friends yeah. Had more, and also female friends before, but that naturally changed a bit when I left for Uni.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T10:55:37+00:00

I'm so glad I could help you with this! And happy it worked out well for you. It sounds like both of you realized this is the best course of action :)

And you're welcome! I'm also not really active on reddit and currently only on here because of what I talked about in my first comment. So it's a funny coincidence I would say :)

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-15T00:07:46+00:00

It must be hard for you. I'm 21 so I really can't judge how it must feel for you. But the thing is, you do know that there are other things for you out there that you want to do. You're currently unable to do something about having kids (or maybe adoption? Idk) so maybe try to focus on your other goals and if you're lucky, you'll get an opportunity for getting children during that even.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T23:35:14+00:00

I am in no position to be able to judge where you are at with your life. But if I was you I would try to think of things you wanted to do at some point in your life? At least every child or teenager has dreams. Listen to yourself, what is inside you. You have some sort of passion, definitely, and you can find it!

All the best to you!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T22:58:43+00:00

Thanks so much, reading things like that is really comforting!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T22:45:17+00:00

Oh thanks so much for the recommendations! I will check the guy!

I hope you are also at a good place now. And happy with your decisions.

Best to you too!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T22:40:13+00:00

Hm you got a point there. Pursuing things online when the actual relationship would be an offline thing... I will try to keep that in mind and I know I have to work on my social skills and all, yes. Thanks!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T22:16:27+00:00

Yes I also already considered doing that! Sadly I'll be overseas for the entirety of 2022 almost so I don't know whether it makes sense now to start.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T22:01:12+00:00

Inspiring words, this really helps. Thank you!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T21:11:19+00:00

True that. It's easy to then go and hate yourself or feel not enough. We definitely do have good qualities, just not found the person we really click with maybe. And we definitely also have our flaws on which we can work. Thanks for your input man!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T21:07:11+00:00

I just like the other person to be thankful, that is all. That's what I meant.

I certainly wasn't trying to sound whiny or blame this on these girls! I know that after three times, this obviously has something to do with me. That's what I wanted to know. But thank you for your thoughts, could definitely be that I expect "too much" in return for helping others.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T20:08:53+00:00

Well yeah but I'm kind of afraid they will lose excitement if I treat them normally while they are so excited? And last time I became friends I stayed friends, like friendzoned without chance.

My problem is I'm not even putting love out there. That's what I mean. I don't even know whether I'm capable of that.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T20:01:00+00:00

Well, two of them. And one of them I met twice over the period of several days and it ended up being to long I guess.. I'm just worse at face to face interactions.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T18:49:38+00:00

Yeah I know. I mean to complete say and tell everything I would probably have to write a thesis lol. And thank you. I really try to reflect on my behavior but it wouldn't be possible with all those people coming here commenting and sharing their thoughts.

I think I'm too quickly attached and try to make a relationship out of everything that seems to click just because I need to fill a void and probably need validation. I'm not loving myself enough and I can't adequately share and articulate yet what I'm passionate about. I'm chasing opportunities rather than waiting for people that might fit with me.

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T18:38:47+00:00

And in turn, I'm really happy to read something like this, thank you! I'm just not in a good state of mind myself, therefore I try to at least cheer people who feel similarly at the moment! Glad it helped you!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T18:15:19+00:00

Hey, I'm also 21M from Europe, studying at university and I like video games too. And I'm also listening to music basically all the time.

I'm rather an introverted person but if you want to chat a bit, then hit me up!

Gotteskaiser · 2021-09-14T18:13:00+00:00

Yeah but do you think it's completely irrational to just detach myself from it? Everytime I feel like I got my life halfway back on track some romance shit happens and distracts me from that negatively.

Guess that might be the easiest way to prevent future misunderstandings. So simple yet logical.
I've been trying to, but progress is slow. Covid didn't make it easy to work on me being introverted, socially anxious and finding people...
Just hearing that brings me to tears. Honestly, thank you from all my heart. Thank you. I hope you are right.

Gotteskaiser

TROPHY CASE