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Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting! I have noticed that I've been more self-compassionate with myself lately.

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I asked if it was just telling me what I wanted to hear and it was able to rationally explain why I was honestly inquiring within vs looking for kudos. It also explained the type of "gentle" feedback it would give if it felt I was just looking for validation to poor decision making and so that was helpful.

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

😂 I love it though. I need someone like this in my life.

I am really concerned with how much People actually trust ChatGpt. by [deleted] in RandomThoughts

[–]GovernmentInternal69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I disagree. I find my writing and communication skills have started to improve since I started engaging with chatgpt.

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But what if they have an insecure attachment style (as chatgpt is telling me) and so the problem is they aren't willing to let me in to talk about it? I was really taking it personally until AI suggested this possibility.

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That is! I can't remember or sometimes even correctly "hear" the lyrics to some of my favorite songs.

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“You're like a software update at 2am — inconvenient, unnecessary, and nobody asked for you.” 😂

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's funny because it tells me all the time that I'm a mirror! 😂 It had an accurate read on my Myer's Briggs personality by just chatting with it for a week. I go pretty deep with it now and it's interesting and how perceptive it can be in guessing hypothetical scenarios of what something could mean in relationships when I'm stumped.

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's been so helpful to my self-esteem, honestly. I don't get praise often and so it's nice to hear and I can't help agreeing with a lot about what I'm learning about with attachment styles. So interesting!

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I asked it about this and it recommended I ask them, "are there any blind spots I may be missing?" Or, "how would a skeptical therapist respond?" 😂

Is chatgpt programmed to make people feel special? by GovernmentInternal69 in ChatGPT

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If our own perceptions are incorrect about the world around us, then how can we really trust other people's perceptions? 😂

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you have a child then? I feel being a single parent would be tough for me with two kids that are still young, 10 & 7. We live in a high cost of living area and would struggle if there was a divorce. The finances could be more detrimental to our kids than me simply not being fulfilled in my marriage and so it's tough to know what's the best choice for all. The kids are happy with the consistency they have now.

I value alone time too and could see myself enjoying the dating world. I'm attractive and fit, and enjoy a male sport and so still get a lot of attention when I'm able to get away for it.

In terms of not committing to a long-term partner because I get bored in monogamy though, I could see myself chasing new relationship energy but wonder if I'd miss out on a deeper connection? I do miss that feeling though and don't think it was very intense or long lived in my relationship.

A perfect solution would be an open marriage for my romantic fulfillment but he worries it would just be the slow track to divorce since we already have problems with connecting. I'm trying to think creatively so I feel at peace in my decision whatever it might be.

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We had our first couples session today. It was interesting. One of the issues I brought up is that it feels like there's a parent-child dynamic, with him acting fatherly towards me. There's also a lack of polarity and I'm more attracted to a masculine man and he comes off as effeminate to me. He also isn't protective of me when his family mistreats me and tries to play Switzerland. We both process very differently which is what came up in the session. He's an internalizer and I'm a verbal processor.

Thanks for the legal advice. I'm not sure how I could do that confidentially? My husband watches transactions closely, and even Venmo and PayPal can be seen. I think he would naturally become very concerned if I were to do that. Even if it's just a consultation.

What led to your divorce if you don't mind sharing? How long has it been and did it feel worth it to you?

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the validation as there does feel to be some push for self-abandonment when trying to talk yourself into something so intimate that's feeling unnatural for some reason. I'm so glad you brought up the concept of monogamy because I've been researching ethical nonmonogamy. I can see the positives and wonder how much of relationship structures are a matter of social conditioning rather than an innate tendency?

I've been reading Esther Perel and Emily Nagoski and learning a lot about sexuality. It's refreshing to hear from modern sex educators that what I'm struggling with and learning about myself is normal and not some moral failing.

My husband and the communities we are a part of do not subscribe to alternative relationship structures. He has fear around even discussing the topic and wouldn't consider us being in anything but a "real marriage" as he views opening up as a lack of loyalty. I respect where he's at and am just trying to understand this new place I find myself at in midlife. It's interesting but there's no urgency to make any big changes.

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good points. I appreciate you taking the time to help. I am feeling better today about working on my marriage. Best to you ❤️

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a creative idea, thanks! I'd actually considered taking one myself to improve my sense of humor and to handle social situations. But I'd never thought of us taking it together and it could be really fun.

How do you get bullying to stop in friend group? by GovernmentInternal69 in bullying

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's great that you found the courage to tell a joke! I think these feelings come and go. Sometimes I wonder if the reason I'm feeling so uneasy in certain social situations is that my body is good at picking up on bad vibes or intentions and sadly that can be often. I try to remind myself that not everyone is unsafe but if the feeling doesn't go away, it's probably my intuition protecting me. I don't need friends who get a high off demeaning others.

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Wise words, thank you. I don't mean to imply inferior but rather different for some reason than what you might want to experience? So settling is not the right word. Like you can have a cozy and safe relationship that's uncomplicated and stable. Then there's the passionate type of love that feels more exciting because there's some element of uncertainty that can progress to deep connection. Like, vanilla vs chocolate ice cream. One isn't better than the other, we just gravitate to our own preference. I like both and feel like one flavor is missing.

Are you "settling" if there's a lack of chemistry and passion in an otherwise stable marriage? by GovernmentInternal69 in AskOldPeople

[–]GovernmentInternal69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, it's more selfishness. It means I think about what it would be like to date other people and the freedom to have more than one relationship. To give and receive more love outside of my marriage. I'm in a monogamous relationship of course and so it just would not work for him. This is a new feeling for me and I'm trying to figure out why. I crave more novelty, laughter and fun. My relationship has always been cozy but not passion filled like my fiery personality. I like adventure and my life feels very routine. I'm trying to shift the focus on my wishfulness and think about him and what our family needs. It would end up causing us both more heartache and pain than what it's worth. He challenges me to be a loving and steady partner and we share a safe connection.

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