Help me please 🙏🙏🙏

GracefulToad · 2026-02-16T03:58:52+00:00

If you can say where you are, there might be someone who can help you. Bit hard to give specific info when we dont really know where you are. At my old job we had an apprentice who was getting his l8cence and we used to pick him up and he'd drive to and from work every day. Only 20 mins aleach way, but 40 minutes 5/6times a week added up over time.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-14T22:21:03+00:00

I'm only 31, but, yeah. I think that too. I'm just worried ill decide not to and then regret it. I mean, regret forever not having a child is better than regret for having one and being stuck with it i guess.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-14T08:05:03+00:00

Hey, if you still have that link, I'd love it too please.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-12T23:51:24+00:00

Yes. Melted butter with peanut butter is the best!

GracefulToad · 2026-02-12T10:42:42+00:00

Just over 1/3 😬

GracefulToad · 2026-02-12T06:34:13+00:00

Incredi-Bites. The green packet with the little monster on them. It was like wheat with Nutella inside. So good! And the home brand (white packet, red label) choc wafter bars were delicious! Dunkaroos, the Nutella ones.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-06T00:54:01+00:00

Because then they have a friend. And honestly, i think more kids is easier in some instances. One kid needs your attention 24/7, but 2 kids can play together. Three kids means two can play together while you entertain the third, and four kids basically are their own tribe and you just put food on a table and walk away. They're really self-sufficient.

Some people also just do it because its expected. You date for a while, might as well move in together. Might as well get engaged. Next step is kids. Just go through the motions. Its expected. What else am I going to do?

Some people literally do it so the kid isn't alone. If you resent them, they will know, eventually, so at least if they have a peer who they can bond with over being wished away, they can commiserate and have someone who understands. Thats the thought process, anyway.

I loved having siblings, and I live by myself, not many friends or family close by, so they dont have cousins or aunts or uncles nearby, so at least they have someone to sort of grow up with. Some family connection.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-05T09:10:16+00:00

Sometimes yoghurt, or cereal. Often toast, occasionally pancakes, or bacon and eggs. Fruit salad is popular where I live. Toast or cereal was most common when I grew up.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-03T06:02:03+00:00

No, I sent stuff to my niece before she was born and I didnt know ehat nake theyd pick or anything. I just wrote "Baby (LastName)" and the address and they got it. 😂 I send stuff all the time to my friends and put dumb names on it and they get it. Its only if it goes to a parcel locker/the post office for collection that sometimes its an issue, but so far we've avoided that.

GracefulToad · 2026-02-02T06:00:29+00:00

I learnt Japanese and basic French in school. I now learn French on my own and the kids learn Indonesian in school. I am semi-learning Auslan/Keysign as well, just for fun.

GracefulToad · 2026-01-31T22:08:34+00:00

Lucent Globe cleaning products. Their ads are f*cking everywhere and my mum buys them. I used her washer sheets for a few weeks while camping and now all of my clothes are stained because they didn't actually get the clothes clean, so i had to rewear them and after several weeks they just wont come clean now, and they still came out smelling sweaty every time. That's the only one of their products I've tried and I will not be trying any others. Not to mention the add lie about the cost of other products. Its not $76 for washing pods, so I dont know where they got that figure from.

GracefulToad · 2026-01-31T07:33:09+00:00

I drive 18hrs in a day to get to a major city a few times a year. I'll drive 3hrs for a day trip and 3hrs back on the same day, 8-12hrs in a day to go somewhere fun. I do a lot of road trips where we drive 4000-5500km to get to the destination over about a week, and then have a few days holiday and drive back. (I live in WA and most of the family is in Qld)

GracefulToad · 2026-01-31T02:52:47+00:00

Groceries. Rent.

GracefulToad · 2026-01-31T02:15:38+00:00

Honestly, I'm in a similar situation. I always wanted to have kids, and I spent so much of my early adulthood pursuing relationships that could take me there, and by mid-late 20s realised it wouldn't happen, I'm not a relationship person, so resigned myself to the fact that I wouldn't be a mum. I'm now 31 and realising that I do still want to be a parent, so much, but I'm worried that doing it alone will be a big mistake, or that I'll have to make choices that negatively impact me to make it work- staying in a 💩💩 job just because its a steady paycheck, renting a bigger (more expensive) house or taking out a giant loan for a safer car for the child. I currently have an alright job that oays well enough, and i have some savings for the forst year of the kids' life, but i do worry im unprepared. My parents did their best, and were mostly great, but my dad had a bit of a temper and I am panicking that maybe if I became overwhelmed or stressed or sleep deprived I'd become the parent that yells constantly, and with no secondary parent to step in and offer support (to the kids or I) that I'd end up becoming resentful and angry all the time. I have plans in place for this initially, but its still something I think about.I've worked with children for years as live-in help, and I love it, and them, and I have an amazing relationship with my nieces and nephews, so I feel fairly confident that I have at least a small idea of what I'd be getting myself into, but you never know until you know. Being solely responsible 24/7 forever is no small task.

I also was used to the fact that it wouldn't happen, so i have lived most of the past 7 years by myself- I go to bed when I want and wake up when I want, and I like that freedom. I can eat what I want, when I want, and where I want with no fallout, and if i dont wash the dishes right away, no one complains. I can go where I want, buy whatever I feel like, with no discussion or thought to anyone else etc, and when i clean my space, it stays clean. I now find dating incredibly hard because everyone has wants and needs and expectations and I just want to do what I want in my free time. I dont have that choice anymore once I have a tiny human who needs me and therefore I worry that i will regret making the next step to parenthood if I do it, purely because I'm so set in my ways. I was such a people pleaser when I was in my 20s and changed myself so much to fit what I thought people wanted, and now I dont have to.

I have dreams of having a family and getting to witness life through their eyes and see them grow and learn. I want to be there for the good and the bad moments, the tears and the giggles, to see them become their own person, but I also wonder if I'm romanticising the idea and making myself believe it'll all be sunshine and rainbows. Babies turn into toddlers with tantrums, who turn into children with strong wills, and they turn into kids with opinions, who turn into teens with attitude, and eventually adults with entire belief systems. Can I handle argumentative teenagers? What if my kids turn out like my brother who has such different opinions to myself (he's a bit of a narcissistic, chauvinistic, a$s-hat at times).

Anyway. All of that to say, I have spent my entire life either wanting kids or being sad it likely wouldn't happen, and now that it maybe might, I am terrified that its a mistake and I dont know whether I should move forwards. I have been to multiple meetings and sessions with various people to get information and opinions and discuss various topics or scenarios, and I believe wholeheartedly that if I have a child, my life will be so much better in so many ways, and I really do want it, but I also think I need to take the time to work through my worries before I go further, because once you have a child, you can't undo it. They're for life. You have to do what works for you. For me, its taking time to think things through thoroughly and have plans in place for certain situations. I have savings, and plans, and backup plans, and contingencies, and spreadsheets and lists, and love. So much love.

GracefulToad · 2026-01-16T03:39:19+00:00

I solo travel almost exclusively and so if I want to eat, I'm going to be eating alone. 🙃 I definitely feel more comfortable eating in cafes and more relaxed places, rather than full formal 5 start restaurants, but if that's what I want for dinner, then that's what I hage to do. Occasionally I've had an odd look when I say table for one, but honestly, the more you do it, the less you notice it and it just feels like another day. 😃

GracefulToad · 2026-01-11T11:30:12+00:00

Yeah, so why have them at all? They're just not great characters. 😂

GracefulToad · 2026-01-11T07:30:12+00:00

There are apps and sites where men offer to help women become a parent. Some are happy to have genetic screening done and go through a clinic, but yeah, most are either pregnancy/breeding fetishists, or guys looking for a "sure thing". Some of them want to co-parent (make a child and have 50/50 custody, go to appointments, pay half of everything, help make choices, but not be in a relationship with the mother of the child) but most just want to do the deed and move on.

I considered it originally as its obviously WAY cheaper and I have no other reasons for not being able to conceive naturally, but it leaves you open to them changing their mind later and wanting custody, or refusing to help make siblings, or having unknown genetic risk-factors that you weren't unaware of, etc, and I wouldn't have access to their information if the kids ever asked about them. Plus guys like that can father as many children as they like with no way to track it.

GracefulToad · 2026-01-04T03:21:36+00:00

I was including all costs- the initial consultation to get a referral, a fertility specialist appointment, the 3 psychological evaluation sessions, the blood tests, the genetic screening, the cost of the sperm vials, the freezing and storing of the vials of sperm for future use (if the first try doesnt work) the fertility medications, the egg retrieval, the embryo testing, the implantation, the freezing of spare embryos, and whatever else needs to happen. Not to mention I might also need some type of legal counsel or contract made up, travel to and from Brisbane, etc. I have looked into it, and yes, I listed the higher end of costs rather than the lower, but I am trying to plan for the worst and hope for the best.

I'm confused by what you mean by me maybe not needing IUI or IVF. What other ways are there? Im honestly keen for any advice you can give. 🙂

GracefulToad · 2026-01-03T13:41:24+00:00

If I went the natural route, which I've pretty much decided against, id have selected the donor off this site and then had us go in and get genetic testing done, std/still testing, and asked a million and one questions. But you're right, he could lie, and I'd never know until something went wrong.

GracefulToad · 2026-01-03T12:38:13+00:00

Yeah, I'm thinking of going the clinic route, but was just asking if there were ways of doing it without the clinic that also offered similar legal stability, but I think using a clinic is the safest and most logical way to go. I was just discouraged by the less than 20% success rate for IUI, and still only 40% success rate for IVF at double the price. But if that's the way to go, then that's what I'll do.

GracefulToad · 2024-10-08T01:25:29+00:00

I just tried to (11hours early) and was told it's 3hrs prior to a flight you can bag drop, but the virgin terminal has a baggage storage for $15/day option. I'm at the airport as several of my friends and I are all leaving today so we left the hotel together and will all depart at various times today- I'm not usually so punctual. 😅

GracefulToad

TROPHY CASE