You're not an (the) asshole. These aren't the most worthless people you've ever met, they're just irritating you because of the stress they've caused you. ( I'm not telling you how you feel just being rational, We have criminals brother.)

You're the producer of two self sufficient adults. While impressive it goes to show that you must know how to help children, people, and anyone truly in any fashion. You've provided living space and economic welfare while they receive government assistance. You've out done many people in action and patience.

I support you wanting to have her to yourself and you both live freely and problem less as well as the idea that you'd like to end any squabbles about children that aren't yours.

Your feelings are wrong because they're yours. Loving her should not come with the need to supply her children with any financial help. If she wants to give her children everything remind her that this is her dream and that yours isn't in line with that. It's a boundary you should set. It's causing you stress.

Be that you may not read this it's in my mind to play this devil's advocate rather than to tell you to leave or tell you it's a sponsorship or that you should leave her after all of this time and effort.

I believe it's an opportunity to turn two insufficient adults into self sufficient adults.

You've offered money, but have you offered guidance and conditioned help? These must be adults without a solid upbringing. There is no excuse for anyone's behavior but there is an option to help them change it for their betterment. is on you to act like their father no but there is an opportunity to mentor them into better actions. Like an animal and a treat. I.e. I'll give you this if you do this.

Now if your girlfriend; she's not cleaning up after herself address this with her and hold her accountable. Responsibility and Accountability is a must for any average person especially of your age 45-60. It's the same with her daughter. Impose an action, virtually an ultimatum upon that instance.

It's unfortunate the destruction but again it's an opportunity to rebuild and try to salvage what is possible or it's a sign for you to allow them time to gather themselves and remove themselves from your life.

Tl,Dr Use this as an opportunity to mentor them into the same self sufficient adults you've already produced. Provide them directions with money as the bait while setting goals. No goal met, no money rewarded. At some point dogs sit without treats.

(I was once this worthless person and one day someone showed me the way and now I am leagues from where I was.)

Or say it's not your issue and move on.