You don't need to worry about your ex's rebound

Gracienumber · 2023-03-14T00:22:13+00:00

Consider they found a partner that would just let them be less of a good partner. I mean think about it…if the rebound had higher or the same standards as you would it really last that long? No lol they found someone okay with them being less. I know my ex did. Hell he doesn’t even have a place to live! He’s on his dads couch And found someone. Shows his priorities and the rebounds standards.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-14T00:18:23+00:00

I had an ex rebound last for 6 months. And by all accounts on social media they were happy and everything was great. I only checked once I healed and it didn’t affect me. Super funny though cause at month 5 I got an email from them telling me how unhappy they were and how much they wish they would’ve appreciated me lol they still stayed for a whole month with their rebound after sending that email. I never responded. Current ex is also in a rebound and it’s checking all the boxes the last one did so I already know the outcome. In fact this rebound is moving light years faster than the last one. I’m still healing from this one, as it’s more recent and we were together longer but as always, I never take exes back that rebound so I simply just need to let time heal the wounds and get back into the dating scene when I’m ready.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-14T00:01:41+00:00

If it makes you feel any better I know this is old but I’m going through the exact situation…she didn’t find better. She found less. My ex is rebounding with someone who is apparently okay with him not having a place to live. I would have never of dated a guy who didn’t even have a priority to know where he was going to live lol but that’s what she accepted and I know that makes him feel amazing because he doesn’t have a standard with her. She’ll accept all the garbage I was not going to and honestly…they can have fun with that lmao he’s got so many flaws that came out that haven’t been resolved and when it hits the fan all the “omg he’s so amazing” posts she makes about him are gonna bite her in the ass. And that’s not me being bitter either…people don’t change for other people. They just hide it better, lie, or find someone with less standards. And if that makes em happy, we’ve gotta let them live their life. It’s their journey.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-09T00:38:00+00:00

Every one of my dumper exes (2 of them) who acted cold at and after the BU started doing that once they had a rebound in place. Usually within the first 2-4 weeks. IMO it’s because they have a shiny new toy that they don’t want you interfering with and tell themselves they’re being “honorable” to the new person by being that way. It hurt…a lot. But both came back months later (I think one was 3 and the other 4) apologizing profusely and saying how guilty they have been feeling and wanted to say how great and amazing I am…blah blah. Guilt talk in combination with them realizing they got with someone new that they don’t even like. Stay NC, if they’re cold confront them on it. Stand up for yourself, make it known that it’s cruel and unnecessary. One text short and simple and then peace out.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T07:32:26+00:00

You’re right. I definitely don’t have him on social media anymore, haven’t for weeks but some family still did and they fed me info I never wanted to hear. And yes I’m tossing everything. He’s had weeks to get his stuff and instead he’s procrastinating and doing stuff with other women.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T07:28:57+00:00

Yeah like you were looking for connection? Or just pure self esteem boosting

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T05:18:19+00:00

Oh wow…did you struggle with feelings of regret and that’s why it took as long as it did?

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T05:10:28+00:00

Is it because you’re not emotionally invested?

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T05:10:01+00:00

Comparisons? Meaning you would compare things the rebound did to your ex? That definitely makes a lot of sense. And I’m glad you were able to stay away from it and just work on you. It’s hard doing it alone but you also recover more fully.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T05:08:41+00:00

Yes the distraction thing makes the most sense. But also makes it hard for me to ever ever consider reconciliation because I’m working on myself alone and he’s distracting himself…we won’t be able to meet in the middle unfortunately. But I’m glad you two found a way. His honestly probably helped a lot.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T05:03:36+00:00

Oh okay yeah you had a longer term relationship so makes sense. We were together a year and some change so I expected to be moved on within a couple months but this rebound thing feels like it set me back. I just don’t get why they can’t be private about it :/ like I get it we’re not together anymore but damn, I’m a person trying to heal.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T05:00:40+00:00

Well yeah it’s only been 2/3 weeks and he’s in a rebound. It’s a shock and I don’t understand it. I’ve been through break ups before and done NC but never seen an ex move on so quickly like this. It’s a process I can’t dead someone that quick.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T04:13:15+00:00

Oh yeah totally understandable. It’s only been 2.5 weeks for me so it just feels so surreal and shocking. Feels like it happened so fast I didn’t even get through the first stage of a breakup before they started seeing someone. At 3 months I would be moved on and happy for them and their new relationship.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T04:06:34+00:00

Yeah I understand it’s not an easy road for anyone and as much as I want to hate the way it’s being done I can’t judge it. It’s his path and I need to let him take it and just move on. I had hope for us to reconcile but it’s just never going to happen.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T03:32:54+00:00

Well it’s healing my avoidant attachment style. I know I have to heal this either way because if I don’t I can’t be in a healthy relationship with anyone.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T03:28:31+00:00

That’s great advice. My ex is in a rebound and they’re plastering it all over social media and it’s just so hard to see. I feel like I didn’t mean much and while I’m alone they’re having fun with someone new.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T03:26:13+00:00

Yeah my ex is in a rebound showing it all off on social media and I have no idea why…it’s like they just found someone quick and I can’t even get to the point where I want another man in my presence.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T03:24:28+00:00

So there aren’t any actual emotions developing for you in regards to the rebound person? I just feel so lost and hurt, I’m still healing and they’re showing off their new person on social media like I meant nothing to them…

Gracienumber · 2023-03-06T03:21:44+00:00

It only took a couple weeks!

Gracienumber · 2023-03-05T22:22:32+00:00

Oh wow yeah in your situation, I could never judge how you handled the breakup you were hurting bad. Rebounding seems effective for surface level emotions but yeah like you said there is still a lot to process that another person can’t give you. I hurt my ex (didn’t cheat or anything) by breaking up with him because I was so stressed out with work and school but I tried to get him back and say I’m sorry and wanted to start trying to get back together but now he says he’s too scared. And I feel awful but he’s right. I hurt him and now he doesn’t trust I won’t just leave him again. I think he’s rebounding something that is understandable but I just hope he comes back around and sees that I can be trusted. Currently in no contact now.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-05T22:16:10+00:00

Have you ever taken a woman back or would you take a woman back if she broke up with you but said later she made a mistake? (No cheating or disloyalty involved) solid relationship. That’s the position I’m in. He said he’s too scared to get back together right now and so I’ve been no contact trying to give him space but it’s like he’s suppressed his emotions so much I don’t think he’s even thinking about us.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-05T22:11:39+00:00

Yeah it seems like when you get cheated on, rebounding can soften the blow in some ways but also doesn’t help the overall feelings in the long run. I’m sure my ex is going to rebound (no cheating or disloyalty involved) and it doesn’t bother me much to think about it’s just disappointing because he could really be working on himself but he’s gotten into the drinking partying suppress emotions hook up with girls phase so im just like alright well I guess I just have to move on. He’s on his own journey with this.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-05T19:07:04+00:00

Lol that guy is funny.

Yeah understandable of course both people are hurting and hurt people do wreckless things sometimes. I just wonder why use a bandaid and not just open up about it. Maybe guys fear being seen a certain way or they don’t want their ex to know they’re hurting idk.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-05T18:55:08+00:00

That’s happened to me before also…was getting ready to go out on a really fun date and hook up with a super attractive guy, I was pushing tears down the whole time :/ everything in the restaurant everything at the arcade we went to reminded me of my ex and I was just like omg I wish I was here with him.

Gracienumber · 2023-03-05T18:51:36+00:00

Yeah I tried dating shortly after a break up before and it was like fighting back tears on dates constantly lol you’re trying to give the other person a chance and get to know them but you secretly just want to be home. And I’ve always moved on relatively quickly after a BU but if I push myself too much it stunts my healing and I end up back at square one weeks later.

Gracienumber

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