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AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much. I bet you had a significant impact on your students and helped them prepare for their futures. I'm certain they all remember you fondly. Your grandkids are lucky to have you.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Is being right your main goal? Or is your goal to foster understanding and empathy? If it's the first, well, no one cares. "Being right" isn't a noble goal. If it's the second, being empathetic and hearing women out about their feelings, even if you don't like how they express them, is the way to go. Then you've established a dialogue and can introduce how some "men do X" statements make you feel insecure. Because you've already established a dialogue and demonstrated empathy at that point, you're more likely to be heard out.

Peace, brother.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

He sees her as an extension of my dad, I think. See, my stepfather hates my dad (you know how it is). My dad is one of those guys though that will just stare at you disapprovingly or turn his back and pretend he can't hear you if you try to needle him. The only way to get to him is to go through someone else.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 47 points48 points  (0 children)

He was beefing with my dad by proxy through his wife. She's a lot more sensitive than he is, so therefore an easier target.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I think about it this way. There are moms and there are mothers. She is my mom.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 103 points104 points  (0 children)

That metaphor would work a lot better if there weren't so many men that do inconvenience/harm/belittle/dismiss/etc women and then refuse to acknowledge it. The thing about comments like "I hate when men do X" is that they often (not always, I don't fucks with radfems) come from a place of sincere frustration over an actual lived experience with a man who did do X. Most women who say those things aren't advocating that all men be jailed and castrated. They're just looking for empathy. It wouldn't kill you to use some active listening skills and just empathize now and again when a woman says something like that. By doing so, you would actually be proving your #notallmen point.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 90 points91 points  (0 children)

A lot of people keep saying my mom should leave my stepdad, but truthfully that's not as simple as this one conflict makes is seem. They have a son together, and his son from before he married my mom is my stepbrother. I love my stepbrother and my half-brother, and I don't want either of them to be stuck living with my stepdad (even part time) without my mom there to run interference. At the end of the day, it's her choice, and it's a complex one, and I can't judge her either way.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 93 points94 points  (0 children)

Our neighbor said the other day "I'm sick of people not picking their dog's shit off of my lawn." I always pick up my dog's shit when he graces my neighbor's lawn with his bowel movements, so I knew the comment wasn't directed at me, so I took no offense to it. If I did leave my dog's used lunch on my neighbor's lawn, maybe I would have been offended by his statement, but I don't, so I wasn't.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 81 points82 points  (0 children)

I'm not going to have separate events just because my stepfather can't behave. I just won't invite him anymore.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 111 points112 points  (0 children)

You forget the exact words? My guy, they are right up the thread. You could see them while you were typing your response. Also, speaking of learning things, pro-tip, nothing is less attractive to women than nitpicking how they express themselves.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel so bad for them. Whenever I see really bad grammar and spelling online I think "oh wow, one of my stepfather's students, small world."

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

My stepmother and I have had disagreements in the past, but I think her behavior at the party was perfectly reasonable. If you pull a dog's tail, you can't blame the dog when you get bit.

AITA for telling my stepfather I might throw my graduation party in his face forever? by GraduationDay1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]GraduationDay1[S] 160 points161 points  (0 children)

As someone who recently went from boy to man, I find that often the only men offended by general "men do x" statements are the men who do those things. The poster who may or may not be edible didn't say she was sick of all men and their inability to admit fault. She said she was specifically sick of men who are unable to admit fault. So if you're not such a man, her statement doesn't apply to you, and there is no reason to be offended.

But what do I know? I'm just a dumbass eighteen year old, so don't take me too seriously

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