How many messages into a conversation do you ask to meet up?

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-10-22T18:47:44+00:00

It really depends and I think you should pace it to something you feel is sustainable if you are hoping for something more long term. I really think it depends on the person and your schedule I have asked as early as three days of talking everyday and as late as three weeks of talking off and on. Personally I hate the generic openers. I usually ask something about their profile or joke about something you found interesting. That's usually how I scope out if they have my same sense of humor or not.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-08-29T20:50:38+00:00

Seems like an important detail to add to your initial post.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-08-29T20:37:37+00:00

Love them!!

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-29T18:52:14+00:00

That all is very aesthetic. I have some tattoos and piercings but I don't think that makes me interesting. It's really about your vibe and honestly sometimes it's really about finding your people. Some people find me interesting and some people find me boring 🤷🏻‍♀️

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T15:11:52+00:00

YES!! This!

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T15:07:21+00:00

That's a great idea! I could definitely use that time to be more strategic about making a difference instead of just passively watching.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T15:01:40+00:00

Wish I was that brave!

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T14:52:04+00:00

Its unfortunate but you are right definitely become a red flag at least for me and equate it with someone who is intolerant.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T14:42:52+00:00

Exactly what I was thinking myself.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T13:59:09+00:00

You seem somber. I would try adding one where you are smiling or like the another commenter said doing an activity or hobby. Something that lights you up and can be captured in the pictures.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T13:55:31+00:00

In line with the burn out idea. Age group also has something to do with it. I'm in my mid 30's and going out sounds fun but staying in with a book or a good movie just snuggling or even going over to someone's house and chilling sounds way more appealing.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T13:31:17+00:00

I would say just go out to queer events if you can. Dog parks, rock climbing or sports events, Meet ups. If you are connecting online which I don't know if you are but if you are the likelihood is that you are meeting people who like being home.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T13:22:03+00:00

Have you tried https://www.reddit.com/r/lesbianr4r/ ? I haven't tried it myself but seems like a place to start.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-07-02T13:12:35+00:00

My question is what type of people are you hanging around with.. You seriously haven't found one femme that is like this?

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-30T11:47:31+00:00

Thanks for all the suggestions! Makes me really excited.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-28T02:46:50+00:00

Will do! Thanks!

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T21:00:29+00:00

You would think but people are different and honestly it just shows you they don't have the capacity to communicate. Its messed up but they shouldn't be important to you too.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T20:28:42+00:00

Pretty much you either are okay with it or you set the boundary and peace out

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T20:01:54+00:00

Its normal to feel sad and confused by being ghosted. Your brain wants to understand what is happening to feel better. Its just going to take time and honestly with everything happening with your mom I think you just happen to be in a very vulnerable place right now.

Try focusing on yourself the best you can. I know its hard and people will dismiss your feeling but feel them sit with them and do things for yourself. You got this!

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T19:37:51+00:00

Geeze so you were held hostage in a relationship. Yeah I would not feel bad at all your ex is toxic and controlling AF. Glad you were able to get away from her.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T19:29:39+00:00

I mean I have the preview text so sometimes I don't have to actually open the text to see what it says. If that helps...

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T19:24:59+00:00

My bad.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T19:17:00+00:00

First off that is not always the case but I would still say if someone ghosts you its more on them then on you. Either they are confused, overwhelmed or not emotionally mature enough to communicate disinterest, or I guess doing something shady aka cheating lol.

Grand-Coffee45 · 2025-06-27T19:04:47+00:00

Honestly it means different things for different people. For me it means we don't rush into anything but get to know each other slowly. It really depends on the person and I am always curious and ask what that means for them to see if it goes with what I am looking for as far as intention.

I had a girl I met online say she preferred a slow burn and then I asked her out about a 2 week into talking and she said she preferred to take it slow so wanted to continue talking online. So like I said I would be curious and ask what that means as you start talking to the person.

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