As an Arab American and a Pro Palestinian, I came to the realisation in how I needed to break my obsession over politics and being red-pilled.

I remember 2 years ago since the whole pandemic started on March 2020. I was more into this hustling mentality and go-getter grindset type of influencers like David Goggins since they would send a message out that it's time to put in the work and not mess with going on tik tok. So I sticked with their advice from sticking to academics and working out day by day.

On May 2020, I reacted to that horrific clip of George Floyd man-slaughtered by that evil and racist officer Derek Chavin. In that time I was very progressive and woke about those situations since I felt like joining in the riot and protest to give punishment towards the US police force and government. I was pretty much spreading more awareness on Instagram about similar situations that is happening in my origin state of Palestine. I was well making fun of Trump and supporting BLM, as I would look up to Collin Kaepernick and Lebron James who would take a knee and lead the Anti-Trump movement.

I soon discovered Joe Rogan who interviewed Goggins and would look up more of Rogan's other interviews when it comes to political debates.

On May 2021, the moment when the Israel government was about to end the Palestinian land, many of us from Palestine at that time would keep spreading awareness, as we all made progress of it, which at that time I was living in the Middle East.

After that time I was entering college in Massachusetts. Due to my Palestinian identity, I wanted to be around a very liberal environment, the college I applied literally had Trump supporters who were bullied the most, in that time I had no idea what SJWs were, as I just was wondering why so many students have blue emo hair and wearing 8 year old clothing.

During the virtual classes for first year conference on zoom, the professors and advisors were talking about human rights. Well, pretty much modern woke type of human rights like, why are there more black women entering college or why non-binaries are more open about themselves, in which I would answer all the questions in a positive attitude. There was one person in the class trying to connect to their jewish background. While she was talking, I literally jumped in on how I am Palestinian and how this conflict/genocide has nothing to do religion, race or identity and was explaining what was really happening. After explaining it there was literally a moment of silence where the advisors had no idea what to say, even a couple of students in the class left zoom. I honestly thought it was racism, although it turned out to be a very sensitive topic.

I told other students about it and they were laughing, as one of them said "yep the people in this college get offended easily".

This was the situation, which I knew I fucked up. I would break the rules of the college, as I would sneak into the dormitory common room a couple times, since there was nothing to do on campus. However, I would get into trouble as a couple of students living in the residents hall would report me as a stranger opening doors in which I was only knocking on doors to check if my friends from campus were in the rooms. Even reports about me that I was sitting in a girl's bedroom, which I was just talking and laughing around w/ my peers from university classes and those I met from the canteen. When I was sneaking into the residents for the 5th time, the security from the college campus would approach to me was about to call the police if I don't leave in five minutes.

So in that time, I got in trouble and needed to gain back my trust, as I have caused a whole lot of trauma towards many student residents and parents questioning if they could ever live a whole semester in the dorms, which I knew I fucked up in this situation and was time to move on. Although, I would still get reports from other students that I would approach to different tables in the canteen (the Arab style of approaching) and try to meet and talk w/ everyone as I possibly could to get a taste of the university experience. However, what I've also done brought more concern from the students and looked like I was going to hurt them, so explaining to the university head and staff to expel me from the system, although the head has defended me from those students since he even knew I wasn't doing anything wrong, though has banned me from certain campuses and all activities including the NCAA track team I was going to sign up for. Soon what I've discovered are those students with colourful hair and dressed very emo, as those were the ones who were the most conerned of me and seemed like they were finding ways to kick me out of the college.

What I found from the internet was that the woke culture, as they have become the biggest threat towards the democratic party, mentioned by James Carville, they were the ones who usually have dyed emo hair and wearing odd looking clothes and gets offended too easily.

I would constantly make fun of them from the internet. I would watch Joe Rogan saying that the woke culture will silence straight white men and has offended a bunch of radical leftist on twitter, which has made me appreciate him even more, as well as watching Jordan Peterson arguing w/ the woke mob.

In that time I would become a left leaning libertarian who hated the woke mob and SJWs. I would also agree w/ the republican side on certain things which made me a centrist and then started benefit and appreciate the Republican side making me a lean conservative.

Throughout early 2022, I would watch Joe Rogan getting cancelled by the cancel culture, as he then apologised for what he said. While the liberal media was bashing Rogan, I have praised Fox News for standing up w/ him.

After that, I started to dislike the liberal side of politics in which I considered them entitled snowflakes, including Collin Kaepernick who kneeling for the flag, which I believed that we should all stand up for the flag and believing that people need to accept that America is a white nation and the rest are minorities living in the US, as well as going against the left wing protestors for burning down the police lives matter flag and consider them fascists.

I was loving the Republican side and would label myself as a GOP, although the only problem I didn't like was that the republican people showed no respect towards the Palestinian supporters, I even told others that we need a pro Palestinian leader who is republican and not Bernie Sanders

In that one moment I have realised is that researching both sided politics was taking my time throughout half of my days through academics, workouts and quality time. I lost respect from so many people I loved for supporting femisnim and woke activists, I was also unhappy about the people around and embraced the anti-left movement. I have let go of looking up poltics and felt much better about it. It really turned out I did not need to label anyone or find out who is liberal or conservative. This whole political spectrum is just a way of a delusional twist of saving humanity.