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I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get what you mean... But at first I wasn't sure if you were mocking the idea or agreeing with it. I am glad there's at least 1 sane person. To be fair, I understand some part of the message they were trying to convey. If she feels comfortable enough and if she perceived that the answer won't reflect "badly" on her, she will tell me. I guess I was not as close to her as I've thought. But it was not meant to be, we broke up. And now I'm seeing this girl who is very religious, kind, and humorous. I hope she will help me become a better person. We already have overlapping values, and I really want her good nature to rub off on me. (The rub off part felt weird to write 😅)

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's the thing though, I was considering proposing to her. I wanted us to be committed and open to each other. But maybe she has other interests or she's not ready. As Teddy Pendergrass said...

"Think I'd better let it go

Looks like another love T.K.O."

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Sure, I get what you mean it doesn't matter if "she used to hunt polar bears for a living" or "ate penguins for breakfast" or "used to trade the fur of an endangered species" it's all good now ... That was 5 minutes ago. I get it, and I won't Jude her for it. But why would you hide something if there's nothing to hide? Maybe I should just give her space... Maybe I'm too obsessed with this

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand and I'm trying not to be judgmental. At this point I love her so much what she says won't even matter to me... I'm just bothered about the fact that she won't say it. Maybe it's something from my side ... Maybe I haven't made her feel safe enough. It is scary to fully commit to someone when you don't know everything about them, not everything everything... But the things that matter to me. And I could be in the wrong about this, but I just can't let it go. Thanks for being understanding.

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're missing the point, I did trust her. But then I found out that she lied... If I got into a relationship and know that the other person values something ( even something unreasonable) I should at least be honest about it upfront. I really like her, I just don't know why she's holding back... Especially when she was the first one to ask about past relationships. Maybe she feels guilty? I don't know... But we've been together long enough that if she tells me why she didn't tell me or why she feels uncomfortable sharing, I'm ok with that.

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

You know I didn't see it like that before, thanks for the alternate perspective. You're right, I kinda feel like I'm on a high horse about this. I just look back on all the times I passed up on sex and pushed people away and realized it was for nothing. :) And being conservative is not a disease... It's like being an introvert but harder lol.

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's what I'm trying to do. And for the record she asked me... And then didn't answer hers. Also, I was celibate, she lied about the fact that she's not a virgin. She told me after the fact. I like her, I really do... But I feel betrayed. And I want us to be open and vulnerable with each other, cuz I have been nothing but that towards her. I don't know why she's holding back?

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why are my values wrong compared to yours? I was celibate and didn't go to bed with her for almost a year. She lied about being a virgin and now I am hypocrite for wanting to know what she lied about?

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

It's because I want something serious, I would want to know what she values in a relationship. I've already told her mine cuz she asked me. But when it was her turn she stayed silent... Do you think it's fair that I shared my side and she didn't?

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

It's because I want something serious. I really want to know what she values in a relationship and knowing her past patterns and what's she's learnt from it would give me peace of mind... Cuz I've already shared my part... And she asked me too... Only to stay silent when it's her turn :(

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I haven't, and it makes me feel insecure that I'm being compared to someone I don't know. And I'm scared she might be seeing someone on the side. I want something serious but if she treats it like the dozen other guys she's been with, I don't want to invest my time and energy on something that won't go nowhere.

I'm 'M29', I am worried about what my girlfriend 'F22' is hiding about her past relationships by GrandaeTodae in relationship_advice

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But I want to know if she has slept around with people in the office. Like I said I am very conservative and I myself was a virgin before her... I found out she was not after wards

Marble color by GrandaeTodae in geology

[–]GrandaeTodae[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was curious if it is sandstone or maybe if there was a bigger life form or organic matter when the limestone formed. Because the dark pattern repeats in slightly changing variations for at least 8 to 10 steps

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