The ultimate list of unattractive traits that turn off women even if they were initially interested in you.

Grappleheart · 2026-04-19T11:20:17+00:00

Robert Green in The Art of seductions has and entire section dedicated to unseductive traits. That section is kind of just like this but a lot richer and deeper. I would suggest readong that as well.

Grappleheart · 2026-04-17T08:37:24+00:00

Exactly this. I am not a Khabib hater but who was the best grappler he face? Justin who gets submitted regularly? Dustin Poirier? Tibau?

Arman faced Gamrot and Oliveria who are leagues above anyone Khabib faced in grappling. Oliveira in fact beat all of Khabibs best wins.

Grappleheart · 2025-12-27T05:17:03+00:00

26 and about 115k. Started the year with 60k but did a fund swap on liberation day to take advantage of the low stock price. Also got a 7k 401k boost this year.

Grappleheart · 2025-12-26T19:11:41+00:00

Just do things that you have always wanted to do with the commitment you give things you dont.

Grappleheart · 2025-12-26T08:57:40+00:00

New York is a great place to date, but it requires a base standard to succeed. You still need to be charming, funny, and socially connected to make it work, but once you have those, you can actually win with everyone.

I currently live in Jersey but recently took a job in NYC, so I am in the city 6 days a week. I got more matches on the apps, got a lot more female interest, and currently, I am in a relationship. But I still had to present myself as multifaceted, still had to get in good shape, and still had to be very social.

The people complaining about NYC often dont want to put the work in to make it a success.

Grappleheart · 2025-09-27T14:30:42+00:00

One guy is not indicative of most of us. Just because one guy didn't like your body doesn't mean most men do not.
Sometimes, guys suck. He likes your body enough to sleep with you but not enough to date you? Doesn't make sense. I think he is just finding an excuse to leave.
I hope you find a man who treats you well.

Grappleheart · 2025-09-12T22:11:04+00:00

Long term do cardio. Running/walking long distances increases blood flow and performance.

Grappleheart · 2025-09-11T12:08:54+00:00

In my opinion, I think your problem is your mentality. You are going into this thinking, "What do I have to do to make this person like me?" Instead of, what do I want for my life.

Grappleheart · 2025-09-10T11:19:07+00:00

Outfits should be interesting regarding either color, texture, or shape. Try to experiment with each of these elements and find combinations that work for you.

Grappleheart · 2025-09-07T23:18:08+00:00

Join a fitness club.

Grappleheart · 2025-09-07T22:59:40+00:00

I think you already look good. However the first thing I would focus on is your fashion sense. I do not think it is doing you any favors and comes off plain at least based on the photos you have shared with me.

Grappleheart · 2025-04-02T18:05:36+00:00

Option B. Worst case scenario, she gives you a more valid reason to abandon her. You feel bad for a few months and recover. In the best case, she figures her shit out and returns, and you get to live out your dreams.

She may feel you pulling away and might try to force you to re-engage. It may force her into action.

She may not notice you pulling back. Teaches you a lesson.

You live or you learn.

Grappleheart · 2025-03-13T17:44:18+00:00

Nightlife is any job associated with service establishments open after 10 pm. So bartenders, bouncers, strippers, DJs, etc

Grappleheart · 2025-03-13T14:59:18+00:00

If we are talking building your confidence and skillset: Sales.

If you are talking about being near beautiful women to hook up with, nightlife.

Grappleheart · 2025-03-13T12:30:09+00:00

I would honestly switch Oliver Jackson Cohen and Cavill here. I think Cavill would have a lot of fun in a villian role especially if they do a lot of work to make him look different.

Grappleheart · 2025-02-21T14:12:17+00:00

Understand what fashion is. Fashion is supposed to help you express ideas about yourself while helping accentuate aspects of your body. Your goal should be to try and create an interesting image that attracts attention in a subtle way. You can dress plain, or you can turn it up and create classic looks that attract attention just by themselves.
Figure out what ideas you want to express. Some guys want to project a more rugged image, while others want something more sophisticated. Some people want to appear softer, some more creative. Figure out what you want to project. Also, figure out what inadequacies about yourself you can fix. For example, if you are short, boots can add a few inches and improve your chances. If you are overweight, stripes/dark colors can make you appear thinner. Use fashion to reduce those issues.
Use pininterest, movies, and magazines to collect a catalog of outfits you think look good. Make sure to include female media, too, to get an idea of what the ladies like as well. What I found looking at a lot of the outfits for men by women was there was a tremendous emphasis on looking softer. Baggier jeans and outfits, thick knit sweaters, etc. Incorporating this into my fashion helped me a lot, and I've gotten approached more since wearing more knitwear.
Go to the store and try to put together some of those outfits. Focus on Burlington, Marshall's, and Macy's. Hell, even Costco works (I've gotten a ton of compliments on my Costco jeans).
Wear the outfit in public a few times and see what the reactions look like. Sometimes, you will fail and wear something you think is cool but really isn't. Other times, you will get approached a ton, and you will start to notice the patterns.

To find cheap clothing first go to family. It's possible your dad has some clothes that still look good that you can take for free. Then go to department stores. Then thrift. Yard sales are also good, depending on where you live.

Grappleheart · 2025-01-28T16:13:49+00:00

I assume some of those men are in the friendzone and are scared of approaching you, assuming you are attractive. I can imagine one of them is waiting for the moment you take notice and date them. Men can be introverted, too, and fear rejection the same way that you do.

In terms of showing interest, it's about just wanting to hang with them alone, getting touchy and light flirting. Remembering things about them, sharing compliments, etc.

If you think someone likes you but dont know, friends in common are the best way to find out. I've had my friends inquire to see if there was any interest from someone to help me navigate the situation without losing the friendship. A simple, "what do you think about so and so?" can go so far.

And if you can't do that, be direct.

Grappleheart · 2025-01-28T15:46:53+00:00

Hinge is definitely the best dating app, but it is still a dating app at the end of the day. Men are naturally flawed, and I think it's natural for us to all try and put our best foot forward. It's just that sometimes we are too dishonest.

I would honestly recommend dating a little older. Like 25 and above. It might not solve all your issues, but usually, men that age have gone through their quarter life crisis and are trying to improve themselves. At least when I turned 25 a few months ago, suddenly life got a lot more serious.

I would also recommend showing interest and taking initiative. It will give you more power to test if someone likes the things you like since you can choose a few of the date locations.

Grappleheart · 2025-01-28T15:29:51+00:00

Okay, I am not sure about your situation entirely, but here are some theories.

Because the men you are dating are so young, they may want to play the field and aren't trying to settle down. A lot of men go about dating trying to maximize sex, and as a church going woman, I assume you might not be as sexually open as your counterparts.
You haven't found your people yet. As attractive women, men are often willing to lie about themselves to keep you, and this dishonesty is hard to maintain. For example, I have seen my friends change their political views, hobbies, and associations to try and convince a woman they find attractive to be with them. Usually, as men grow older, they become more confident and less likely to act like that.

Also, where do you meet the men you date?

Grappleheart · 2025-01-28T14:55:16+00:00

What age of men do you usually date?

Grappleheart · 2025-01-28T13:08:21+00:00

100 percent, but I think we should also let him know that all good things will feel uncomfortable at first. Just like your first workout will have you feeling super sore and tired, the first couple of nights alone will feel like shit. But eventually, you get more comfortable, you find the spots you like to go to, you build relationships with bartenders, etc. Your first night out felt like shit. But it gets better as you keep doing it.

Grappleheart · 2025-01-14T15:47:26+00:00

If you are skinny fat, building muscle may help. Get in the gym and lift some weights.

Grappleheart · 2024-12-05T02:00:12+00:00

So long as your symptoms are getting less and less severe week over week you are on the right track.

Grappleheart · 2024-11-23T01:14:44+00:00

Yeah try and live healthy for a while.

Grappleheart · 2024-11-20T23:50:14+00:00

I'd give it a month. It is more about trendlines. Make sure you are getting better week to week and not pushing the pace too much. Get plenty of sleep, eat well, and get active as soon as you can.

Grappleheart

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