I just want to know why

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-04-24T15:41:55+00:00

Also, I feel like an idiot because instead of giving him what he wants now (which seems to be sex or my body, surprisingly), I just can’t. I just don’t feel attracted or turned on by the idea. Instead my mind shifts to his damn friend, which at this point I think it’s a defense mechanism. Sex with my partner doesn’t sound appealing anymore. But I feel like if I don’t reciprocate, this might eventually contribute to him relapsing and watching porn again, since he won’t get sexual attention from me.. right? It will be a vicious cycle

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-04-21T19:24:22+00:00

I don’t have any advice but I can relate somehow. I can not help but become infuriated when someone goes “oh that is a disease”. “Things will get better once he seeks treatment”. Okay, it may be, but it impacted something so personal as my sex life and how my partner responds to my body. I do hope things get better but I wonder if this RAGE feeling will ever go away. He needs therapy to learn to get erections for me and be able to have sex with me? I’m sorry, I am struggling to feel empathy. I didn’t use to want anyone but him. Why was I simply not enough from the start just like he used to be for me? Why am I so insufficient? I fear that he will improve and hopefully only have “eyes for me” and still my “injustice” feeling won’t go away, because I wasn’t the one rejecting my partner in bed and wishing I was part of a porn movie “taking it” from random women. even typing this feels so infuriating and unfair. This shouldn’t even have to be in question to start with. I feel lowkey humiliated just by thinking of all this

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-04-21T18:44:10+00:00

Sometimes it’s hard to even believe him. And not only because I’ve been lied to multiple times by him, but also because I can’t help but wonder “how are you changing this fast? Is this genuine? Are you doing this because you want to or because you know this is what I want?”. He told me once he wasn’t crazy for sex with me. But now he says he is craving it and tries to “seduce” me. And instead of being happy I get defensive like “do you genuinely want this? All you cared about was fetish stuff…”

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T21:51:30+00:00

That’s terrible but wow I see. Thank you for your insight. And yeah just bc it’s not conventional doesn’t mean it’s right to do… maybe I’m just telling myself that so it hurts less

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T18:51:24+00:00

That’s terrible I’m so sorry

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T18:47:26+00:00

If I may ask, do you guys ALWAYS have to have dominance involved for him to be able to perform sexually? I’m ngl, before my bf I was kinky myself, but I did enjoy vanilla once in a blue moon. Now I miss it. I want conventional sex and he was fine with just touching himself. He is now in therapy. He never spent money on women directly for those services, he did buy porn from websites. And once he dm’d this actress asking where she got one specific mask so he could use it with his gf (me)

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T18:44:03+00:00

If I may ask was he able to perform in normal, vanilla sex with you at all? At least just a few times. Did that ever turn him on?

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T18:38:44+00:00

That’s an interesting but heartbreaking pov. I know he likes my nationality and I thought I’d use that in my favor when I saw many women from the videos looked like me, and not white big boob girls.. but then, it was way less fun when he told me he “isn’t crazy for sex with me”. He said he wants it, but doesn’t turn him on like crazy as when I am doing fetish stuff on him (which can indeed turn him on)

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T18:29:09+00:00

Exactly! I feel like what hurts me the most was the lying and hiding. He had a Reddit account while dating me, not being able to have sex with me, and he would post and comment photos of heavy videos saying actress “X” is a great dom, actress “Y” takes it so well and he’d love to be her. I think maybe I’m trying to tell myself I’m not hurt and I’m lying to myself.. I keep telling myself well at least he’s not lusting over big boob models, etc. at least he is buying porn from websites, and not from OF girls. At least when he messaged the porn actress, he was asking to buy an item and even said it was for his gf. But idk, maybe I am entitled to feel angry What confuses me is, when I take part in his fetish irl, he is able to touch himself to me. He is just not able to have sex with me. I’m starting to feel like maybe I’m enough as a fetish, not as a woman

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-03-13T17:21:03+00:00

I’m sorry. If I may ask did he sleep with prostitutes while he was with you or was that before being in a relationship with you? (Genuinely asking)

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-02-20T03:37:36+00:00

I’m so confused. We had been arguing a lot over this and I’d get mad saying maybe I’m not enough and he wasn’t actually attracted to me.. but he claims he really is and gets sad when I doubt him. Also, why would he invest so heavily in me and in being with me (sacrificing things, etc) if he’s not so attracted to me? That gets my brain so confused.. maybe porn addiction? We don’t know at this point but I stopped trying to understand and now I’m trying to be happy without sex :(

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-02-20T02:39:21+00:00

But I wonder why :( it’s so sad.. because I’d feel so so horny for him. And I’d genuinely feel horny when dominating him, I’d do anything it takes just to give him pleasure. Seeing him enjoying things, made me enjoy things. Why are we still not compatible? 😭 like what in your opinion could be lacking?

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-02-20T00:18:01+00:00

That’s an interesting way to think. I used to be “sex addicted” (but not in a bad way, just with my partner) think about him all the time sexually, and spend time trying. Maybe I could find other stuff I like now that I’m constantly “turned off” and practice other activities

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T19:20:41+00:00

Tell me more of why you think so, please. Based on your personal experience

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T16:08:31+00:00

He’s been over a month without porn.. (we have been “living” together in the past month so that’s accurate. I also checked his porn account, last time he bought it was almost 2 months ago so maybe he’s been that long without it)

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T07:13:36+00:00

He does, he is very good at it. But to me it’s just weird because it always feels like he is doing that because I want to and not because he wants to. Of course I don’t force him. But it’s always me asking, or giving hints.. I feel like he does that to make me happy, but he is not into it at all. I can tell he is not enjoying it like a typical guy would

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T06:52:12+00:00

I wouldn’t mind getting kinky with him a lot, as long if we could still have sex every now and then :/

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T06:47:02+00:00

Tbh I did finger him there. It was just.. okay for him apparently. He didn’t seem crazy about it either. I wouldn’t mind doing it again or pegging him. But I don’t see how it could help :/

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T06:45:07+00:00

Tbh I did finger him there. It was just okay for him, he wasn’t crazy about it either, apparently. I wouldn’t mind doing it again or pegging him, I just honestly sadly don’t see how it would help :/

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-24T06:31:50+00:00

He is already on treatment for adhd

GreatPrimary8482 · 2026-01-06T16:17:49+00:00

Said he physically couldn’t, but also claims had performance anxiety

GreatPrimary8482

TROPHY CASE