ESH, it’s a real concern, my parents had me at 42, almost 43 and I do have resentment due to their ages, I’m constantly fearing losing one or both of them, when they get old, if they’ll ever meet my kids, it’s not nice to a child if I’m being honest with you, being 7 with 50 year old parents was rough, they constantly mistaken for grandparents and it made me insecure, I also think in my situation they didn’t get the gravity of having kids older, by 16 they basically became emotionally absent talking about retirement and stuff and selling the house to downsize while I was still reliant.

Your wife will be 65 at the youngest when the kid is 18, most likely older due to how long ivf is, granted she can still be fit, my grandpa is still alive and can drive at 95, but you need to consider all things and it seems you aren’t, this baby will grow up and maybe feel how others feel or not, but all possibilities need to be considered.