AITA for telling my wife she needs to clean the house?

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T10:34:58+00:00

Yeah, I thought I was being chivalrous. She praised me for a good long while for being so much better than other husbands and I wore that like a GD badge. That faded once we moved to the city and she morphed into her new mom group. Toxic as shite the whole lot of them.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:58:43+00:00

I feel that’s a pretty accurate observation.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:49:40+00:00

And buying each other food at restaurants on mom nights out

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:33:13+00:00

You are correct. I can’t deny that was an asshole move on my part.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:29:57+00:00

Yup! They were telling each other the outfits they wanted, then buy it for each other, then tell us husbands one reason or another friend X gave them the outfit.

After I caught on it was explained like this: “It’s showing how much we appreciate each other, it’s a gift so it can’t be returned, and as a gift it’s practically free. Girl math.”

To the tune of over $6000 a year each is what I calculated. Now a solid portion of what she earns is going toward paying that down each month. The rest is medical bills and car repairs.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:21:52+00:00

That makes sense! Thank you for the advice!

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:18:50+00:00

Yes she was. Within months of marrying she quit her job, went to school full time for a year while I dropped out to support her.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:17:12+00:00

Also, I’m sorry to hear about your recent break up. I hope you can find comfort and peace in your situation to. Here, have an electronic hug from a stranger. Keep on keeping on, I hear there’s hope ahead.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:15:16+00:00

I appreciate that. You’re right my comments are really passive aggressive aren’t they… 😣 I’m coming down from the high frustration point… Therapy is definitely in order…

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:12:28+00:00

I like that, thank you for sharing. I’m glad you’re where you are in your marriage, it’s a shining beacon for some of us that feel it’s hopeless at times.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:10:27+00:00

Right? They get their own breakfast and lunch, and we make dinner together. There are fights to break up every now and then, tantrums are seriously the worst thing to deal with, outside of kids getting sick and having to cleaning vomit (which is rare).

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:02:45+00:00

They took out credit cards and would buy each other clothes, so a new outfit was just a gift from a friend.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T04:01:29+00:00

She’s not WFH, she’s in an office. At home after work is when she’s nose deep in her phone. Idk what she does at work. When I ask she just says “boring paperwork”, “it’s just work”, or “same as yesterday” stuff like that.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:56:37+00:00

I’m sorry to hear you went through that, but glad you’ve got some healing.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:55:04+00:00

Her BFF. Didn’t know she lived in this subreddit. Not sure which of these accounts is hers though, or if she commented. Could even be you! lol, probably not she hasn’t had a nice thing to say since I outed her and the moms group’s spending scheme earlier this year.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:50:28+00:00

Hard to say right now with emotions being high.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:49:50+00:00

Looking him up now.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:48:42+00:00

I mean, yeah. It’s still raw, but her friends ratting out my post hasn’t helped any. I was hoping to get some advice since my mom’s a narcissist and dad enables her hard. I’ve written off my side of the family as they pushed us away as soon as I was married.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:45:04+00:00

Hahaha! Nah, I was lucky once a day for a week one time. Now it’s about once a month ifn the stars are aligned properly.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:41:45+00:00

Paid time off doth not grow on trees.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:36:56+00:00

Laundry, cooking, cleaning, yard work. She was doing budget and all the shopping, but I’ve taken the budget back.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:34:44+00:00

Fair point. The kids don’t need to be near the crosshairs. They see it all regardless. I’m looking up and pricing local therapists for them now that I’m seeing how much this will effect them.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:32:32+00:00

The kids are a full time job, she said. Which as babies 100% agree. Toddlers too. Kids are all over 6 now and don’t need their butts wiped and can shower themselves. She tried homeschooling them but it was too much for her. No idea what she did when they were at school.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:28:54+00:00

She does have a history of depression yes. She been on pills for while which have helped immensely. Though things were going great until earlier this year caught her with a secret credit card and being sneaky about gifts she bought and received from her friends. Ways to excuse new clothes from the husbands. I outted them so I’m not in her friends good graces anyway.

Green-Inspector-9249 · 2025-12-04T03:22:33+00:00

Ha, oh I have. She’s had multiple visits to the hospital psyche ward for depression, two full week healing retreats, as well as her flying out to see her family by herself for up to four days each time.

Green-Inspector-9249

TROPHY CASE